Wednesday, August 04, 2004

Madonna on the Rocks

Borderline ... looks like she's going to lose her mind, if he keeps on pushing her love ... over the borderline. Or something like that (The Corsair bows and graciously accepts applause) ... so kind, thank you, thank you ... thank you, so kind, so very kind.

According to that significant cultural artifact, The National Enquirer ("because Enquiring Minds want to know"), Madonna's marriage is on the borderline:

"Witnessing the obsessive devotion Madonna's fans have shown her on her tour -- while watching his own career wane -- has fueled Guy's insecurity and jealousy, the close source said."
The Corsair swiftly grabs a bag of unsalted popcorn, leaps, and, in a single bound, lands squarely on the chair in front of his computer screen.

"Guy's star has faded. His adaptation of the Italian film 'Swept Away' with Madonna as the star was a complete disaster."

The Corsair nods, sadly, rubbing his Kabbalah red string bracelet, whispering, "Swept Away was not a film, it was a cocktail commercial."

"He still has a huge ego but now when he looks in the mirror every day, he sees Mr. Madonna, rather than Guy Ritchie, filmmaker extraordinaire.

"There's no question he's completely devoted to their son Rocco and Madonna's daughter by Carlos Leon, Lourdes.

"But the simple fact is, Guy can't seem to stand that he'll always be behind Madonna in terms of success.

"'Guy is wounded and hurt so he's lashing out at Madonna, accusing her of infidelity. I think he's sabotaging their relationship.'

"As soon as Madonna kicked off her Re-Invention Tour in late May, 'Guy became agitated and in a bad mood,' said the insider.

"If he wasn't with her at all times, he was in cell phone contact."

Human, all too human. Doesn't this all sound familiar?

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