Saturday, March 12, 2005

A Little of the Old In and Out

In: Boxing. Celebrity poker is so last week, so louche, so (sotto voce) utterly B-List. Million Dollar Baby, people; Hillary Swank was so "mussular," while Chad Lowe looked on softly, adoringly. According to Ben Widdicombe's excellent Gatecrasher, "The current obsession with boxing has produced two more fine films. 'Ring of Fire' is an amazing documentary by filmmaker Dan Klores about the life of six-time welterweight champ Emile Griffith."

Out: The Secret Buyer. Who the fuck secretly bought up all the best stuff at the LA garage sale of the, uhm, well, month? Sharon Waxman at The Old Gray Lady picks up on the Tim Burton-Lisa Marie Celebrity Breakup Garage sale, which we did this week, saying:

"Garage sales are a regular ritual of Los Angeles life, and show business garage sales are particularly sought after, with their rags-to-riches-to-rags subtext. Also because they are so rare; movie stars are not generally in the habit of dragging their things out onto the front lawn for a public looky-look.

"... But by 9 a.m. on Friday, not too much was left of her past with Mr. Burton, he of the spooky sets and dark palette, who first came to prominence with the ghoulish comedy hit "Beetlejuice." It turned out that Ms. Marie had unloaded most of the movie props and furniture to a private bidder the night before, who had carted everything away in trucks. The main movie item left was a velvet chaise lounge from the 1994 movie "Ed Wood," priced at $20,000.

"'It's unacceptable,' said Suzanne Stanford, a furniture collector who had come at 8:15 a.m. to be one of the first inside when the doors opened. 'You get here and everything's gone.'"

This is naught else but utter bullshit, by the way, as the info of the sale said -- distinctly -- "Absolutely No Early Previews or Early Sales." So, if you're going to switch the rules, then, my friend, we're going to go all ... (The Corsair soes a little unintimidating impromptu kung fu move, charmingly spilling a bit of his Chardonnay in the process) Medeival on your rich, punk ass. Any tips on who this secret buyer may be (was it Tim Burton? Helena Bonham Carter? Johnny Depp? Who, goddamn it?) should be sent to All emails will be kept confidential. Inquiring minds want to know.

In: The Corsair's Predictions. Sometimes we amaze ourselves; sometimes it is just plain spooky how clear The Corsair's crystal ball is. Okay, so Depp didn't win Best Actor and Flav and Gitte didn't get married. The Corsair is tooting his own horn, bear with us. But, it is only March, and some of our predictions are starting to bear fruit, for instance, we predicted on Janu-fucking-ary 3rd:

"Courtney Love will clean herself up and ultimately replace Howard Stern on Infinity radio; meanwhile, the new ultra raunchy Sirius Show will ultimately force ABC to cut their ratings desperate Howard Stern interview show maneuver (ABC has since done better in the ratings).

"Howard Dean will win DNC Chair, and tack immediately to the Center, while keeping the far left in tow, via bread-and-circuses to Progressive bloggers."

For the record: Dean won the DNC race, easily, though few saw it, and, according to reports, Courtney Love is being seriously courted to do a show on Sirius Radio (give The Corsair 1/2 credit on that one; like, who else saw Love as a DJ) with Stern. We should be paid for these predictions, people! Ah, who are we fooling; we are glad someone's listening to our media rants. More predictions.

Out: Cheesy Wisconsin Pervert Dude. This is kind of funny and kind of fucked up. Okay, possibly really fucked up. According to TheSmokingGun:

"Meet Robin McCain. The 26-year-old Wisconsin man was charged yesterday with indecent exposure for disrobing at laundromats, which he told cops was a 'statement about personal freedom and not sexuality.'"

Hmm. Plausible, we say, they continue:

"According to a Circuit Court misdemeanor complaint, McCain exposed himself in January to a female patron at the King Koin Laundromat, allegedly telling her that 'he was doing a nudist experiment that his friends told him to do.'"

Less plausible, but not entirely unfeasable, as the more artistic schools have notoriously eccentric curricula of arts and crafts:

"McCain then walked around commenting about his, um, size while fondling himself."

Okay, fuck -- hey!-- Jesus, disgusting, corrupt, shit! (The Corsair *shudders* then runs to take shower)
In: The New York Times Book Review. This is kind of embarassing, but The Corsair is really liking the New York Times Book Review. We know, it's not a fashionable thing to admit. Apparently, the reading of Book Review is as socially acceptable as oozing in one's own productions. Sam Tanenhaus rocks hard.

Still, the Gore Vidal on James Purdy Essay, the Foer piece on the modern History of Federalism (And how both American political parties retreat into the concept in times of electoral loss), and, finally, this week, the often cryptic Francis Fukuyama on the 100th Anniversary of the Protestant Ethic of Capitalism. Fuck. That's three weeks of intellectual treats, as far as we are concerned. We definitely like.

Out: P Diddy. Did you know Diddy had sold a part of Bad Boy to a sucker ... we mean "suitor"? Apparently P Diddy is selling half of his empire, according to Crain's NY:

"Sean 'P. Diddy' Combs is selling half of his Bad Boy Entertainment empire to Warner Music Group. While neither party is commenting officially on the deal, which is estimated to be worth more than $30 million, Mr. Combs made the statement at the Mixtape Awards at B.B. King's nightclub in Manhattan this week, with Kevin Liles, executive vice president of WMG, at his side.

"The deal has been on-again, off-again for weeks because Mr. Combs disagreed with WMG's valuation of his company, insiders say. WMG has been working hard to build up its urban music roster ahead of an IPO, which the company announced on Friday. Mr. Combs will end his distribution relationship with Universal Music Group as a result of the deal."


In: Complex/Ferrari/Maserati Pre Fashion Week Party. Hold up. We need to "liaise" with Bijou Philips. The Corsair likes his women a little "hard to handle." Crazy girls are incredible in the boudoir, you know. According to FashionweekDaily:

"Complex magazine and Ferrari/Maserati have enlisted some A-list help to promote their pre-fash week f�te on March 15. They�ve recruited actress (and serious party girl) Bijou Phillips to host and she has enlisted some of her Hollywood friends to help.

"Besides Ms. Phillips, expected guests include Kirsten Dunst, Kate Bosworth, Gabrielle Union, and of course Danny Masterson. Samantha Ronson will supply the tunes, while Ketel One serves the drinks."

We would seriously like to knead Bijou's breasts like sour dough. We believe, through repeated observation, that they appear -- ahem -- structurally capable of withstanding such intimate attentions.

"Thrown at the ultra-exclusive Spider Club the party will be presented by, Rock & Republic jeans and Next Model Management, ensuring that even if guests don�t meet a celebrity, pretty faces will still surround them."

Yeah, so, like, hook up The Corsair PR people. You know the email.

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