Monday, March 14, 2005

Gridiron Dinner Recap


Above: Grover Cleveland: A Sport, to be sure; attended the first Gridiron Dinner.

Oh, for the love of Methuselans bedecked in white tie, with garters and sock suspenders! Who says print journalism is dead? We-who-are-about-to-blog have come to report to you, dear reader, that it is so not dead. Print journalism is on a a respirator and its loved ones are barred by the courts from pulling the plug. And nowhere is the robust health of the fourth estate more evident that at the Gridiron Dinner, where those not entirely afflicted with Alzheimer's fondly recall -- with only marginal difficulty -- the year Nancy Reagan belted out a particularly soulful version of "Second Hand Rose." And, no, David Broder did not break out into "The Charleston" before the assembled guests. But, according to a Wonkette source, Washington C-Listers were touched by the rosy fingers of Aphrodite, as, witness, over there, "Ron Fournier hotly pursuing Lucianne Goldberg at the early reception." Eeew.

Of course, The Corsair didn't get his invite (Averted Gaze). A terrible oversight on the part of Gridiron, but we'll let it slide. And we did so want to "pitch woo" at Maureen "Call me Baby Doll" Dowd, what, with her "Gucci bondage heels," as Stephanie Mansfield of the Washington Times describes them. But restraining orders are restraining orders.

In the age of the blog, journos in attendance flouted the strict off-the-record rule. In fact, for an off-the-record event, there are, like, a dozen stories filed on what happened inside. Goody (The Corsair rubs his hands together and loudly proclaims, "Yum, yum"). So let's recap, according to Neely Tucker, of the Washington Post:

"Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice stepped into the lobby wearing a knockout red dress, and the applause-o-meter pegged out. Cameras flashed. People tiptoed for a glimpse. ('We love you, Condi!') Madam Secretary, glowing, smiled and turned for the stairs."

Power, indeed, is the ultimate aphrodisiac; Condi is becoming quite the Iron Lady under the glare of the cameras. Apparently, Condi even wore a red Oscar de la Renta number, which is also favored by the First Lady Laura Bush, which leaves us to ask in all earnestness -- Is Oscar de la Renta the official designer for the Neocons?

Pols and "ink stained wretches" dined on, according to The Washington Post, "flowing wine, Chilean Sea Bass with turnip potato gratin, tender filet mignon and Gridiron petits fours."

And if that doesn't make your mouth water, the AP reports:

"(New Mexico Governor Bill) Richardson compared the Bush administration's treatment of U.S. allies over the Iraq war to the NCAA basketball tournament.

?'Sixty-four teams start and they're whittled down to just one,' Richardson said in prepared remarks. 'Kind of reminds me of what we've done with our allies.'"

Oh -- please -- stop. Too funny. But the President did him one better, according to Darlene Superville:

"Some of the press skits he had watched earlier in a long evening were about steroid use in professional sports, but Bush said that in looking out at the press corps he was confident none of them were on steroids.

"'Those are all natural bodies,' he said."

Even Novak? We thought -- we were sure -- that the Aztec serpent God Queztacoatl had supplied Novak with a new, indestructible host body for services rendered.

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