Thursday, March 03, 2005

Chuck and Grub


Above: The Prince of Wales slowly becomes conscious of a nameless fear.

"The trouble is, there's no role for the heir to the throne to play. You have to make it up as you go along."

-- Prince Charles

The Prince Charles Aussie PR Reconstruction Tour (TM) blitz is in full force. The heir-apparent who once famously wished to be reincarnated as Camilla Parker Bowles' tampon (Averted Gaze), is presently "down under (excuse the pun)" On walkabout, he is. According to Hello!Magazine:

"The Prince of Wales had an encounter with some bare-chested ladies on Wednesday, before being presented with a witchetty grub, by way of a tasty snack."

If the strip club has bad snacks (or sacs), then, by all means, switch locations; that's the thought that sustains us, anyway, when we're all up in some sweaty chest.

"It was during a visit to the remote town of Alice Springs in Australia that Charles was offered the chance to try some local delicacies. He showed no hesitation in biting into a bush banana and a bush potato, but seemed rather less enthusiastic when Aboriginal ranger Doug Taylor invited him to chow down on a wriggling grub.

"For a moment it seemed Charles was about to follow suit, as he took the grub between two fingers and raised it to his mouth, but then he smiled and shook his head before placing it back down.

Pussy! Steal back 'neath your mummy's skirts, Charles! Henry V would have consumed a syndicate of those wriggling grubs along with some fava beans and an "exhuberant" Chianti.

"Earlier in the day the Prince had been greeted at the airport by five traditionally dressed native Australian women. After touching down in Alice Springs, he stepped out into the 40 degree plus heat to be greeted by a group of dancers from the Papunya tribe who performed a special welcome dance."

Improvised palm tress served as poles, we gather. Camilla was last seen galloping about freely in the outback. (Okay, that was definitely a cheap parting shot)

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