Wednesday, March 30, 2005

The Pie-ing of William Kristol


(image via

A unilateral attack of unprovoked pastry was launched yesterday against Neocon sex symbol, William Kristol, by an insurgent coed. The threat was duly neutralized, and the lecture went on without further incident. According to something called

"A well-aimed pie tin filled with goop delayed, but failed to derail, an otherwise civil dialogue on U.S. foreign policy at Earlham Tuesday evening.

"Neoconservative journalist and commentator William Kristol was about 30 minutes into his speech on international affairs when a slender young man crossed the stage of Goddard Auditorium and slung the ersatz pastry into his face."

And just what was in that unguent "cream" filling? This is the left-of-center Earlham, you know. Perhaps the goo-recipe is better left a mystery to bewitch.

"Kristol appeared momentarily stunned, then wiped the brown and white goo from his eyes with a paper towel, stepped back to the podium and said, 'Let me just finish this point.'"

Well, you've got to applaud a modest wit for showing itself under pressure. As god knows what organic "brown-and-white" effluvia drips down his now aghast face, obstructing nasal passages, matting his hair with a ... sinister viscosity; still, Kristol managed to win the crowd over.

"Members of both sides of the political spectrum in the overflow audience rose to applaud."

Now, do we need to run DNA on that pie?


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