Saturday, March 26, 2005

A Little of the Old In and Out


In: LA Fall Fashion Week Wrap. The "folkloric" look -- Astrakhan coat with shearling, velvet, gothic black, high ruffled collars and cuffs -- was big, according to the wonderful Fashionweekdaily(blog love to the gang at Fashionweekdaily). The "vegetable colors" at Marc Jacobs' show were mentioned. was somewhat complimentary (and somewhat citric with a dash of arch), observing: "If the fall 2005 collections were any indication, Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week at Smashbox Studios has grown up a bit, and its newfound maturity suits it rather nicely. Sure, little-known C-listers and their plastic surgeries continue to detract attention from the clothes, and the valet-parking situation at the Culver City studio is still a calamity. But the designers themselves are more experienced, and it shows."

They continue, ".. Designer Jenni Kayne is earning her stripes, not to mention attracting to her front row every season an inexplicable posse of famous people (Jake Gyllenhaal, Michael Keaton, Jason Bateman, Rachel Bilson, Alana and Kimberly Stewart, the Wagner sisters, Carolyn Murphy and Brandon Boyd, the cast of Punk'd? the list goes on). A plum fur capelet was a misstep ..." Peasant! (The Corsair sips on a soft and full Grappa)


Out: Dan Tana's. Once the Times identifies some emerging trend, that trend is already three sheets to the wind. The Old Gray Lady's Sunday Styles lauds the Los Angeles fixture, thusly, ensuring a brutal, bloody end of its hipness quotient:

"Dan Tana's is a rare place, regulars say, where generations mingle, where people go to go; not to be seen. 'It's one of my very favorite restaurants,' said Sumner M. Redstone, the chairman of Viacom and therefore (Brad Grey of Paramount Pictures) boss's boss. Mr. Redstone goes to Tana's, as some of the regulars call it, as much as three times a week when he's in Los Angeles. He was, in fact, just about to dig into some takeout the restaurant had sent over. 'I take everyone there and they all fall in love with it,' he said. 'It's the first restaurant I took my wife Paula to.'"

Which would place its beginnings as an eatery at roughly the outset of the Punic Wars.


Out: Paranoia. It appears that Kafka's crystal ball was indeed accurate. We live presently in a paranoiac age. And nothing proves this thesis more than this bizarre story by the Page Sixxies:

"DEAN Johnson the gay party promoter who sometimes performs in drag with his band, the Velvet Mafia caused a near-riot at Roseland last Saturday. Johnson and eight other men in prison guard uniforms 'all professional dominant escorts, and all as tall as me (6-foot-6)' were performing 'The Penile Colony,' an interactive theatrical production set in a Mexican jail, which Johnson described as 'Tony n' Tina's Wedding' meets 'Midnight Express.'"

"'The plan was for the crowd to be subjected to cavity searches upon admission,' Johnson told PAGE SIX.'"

Most people .... only allow only their dentists and dearly beloved spouses the permission to perform cavity searches. Admission to the "holiest-of-holies" is an understandably exclusive activity. Eight hulking dom escorts "accessing" the previously mentioned holy site is not everybody's cup of tea.

"At 1 a.m., when I led the chain gang across the dance floor and to the lobby's back theater, it caused a surge of interest and everyone was packed up against the doors waiting ... When the doors opened, we started throwing the customers up against the wall and subjecting them to searches."

A considerable pause. A monumental intake of air. The requisite hollow gasp of horror. The resumption of reading as if nothing whatsoever had occurred:

"The revelers, many of whom were already high as kites, started to panic. Many bolted, others started swallowing their stashes ... It caused such a panic that the real police were called.'

"Johnson tried to leave, but he and his crew were 'swept back inside by a tsunami of homosexuals in black leather ... it was an hour before I could find my way back to the exit.'"

And the award for the most gratuitous use of the word Tsunami goes to Dean Johnson.


(image via

In: Melanie C Bashing. You remember Mel C, don't you? Yeah, you do. Sporty Spice of the Spice Girls, homeslice. You know, the one that was all athletic and stuff. Well, Melanie C spent $1.4 million to finance this new CD that's ... going to go straight to the remainders, The Corsair is honest. So, of course she needs some "controversy," some "shock," as her last album sold roughly 1/3 as many copies as her debut, which suggests some shark jumpage. Enter, Britney Spears. According to the 3AM Girls:

"SHE'S got an awful new single to plug, so it's no surprise that Mel C is desperately trying to drum up some publicity by laying into a far more successful pop star.

"In an interview with gay mag Attitude, Mel spits: '(Britney Spears) could do with calming it down a bit.

"'It's like verging on porn. You feel embarrassed watching it with your dad.

"'Have you seen the latest video? Her shorts are so tight you can practically see her whatsit. Put it away, love.'"

Out: Mario Vasquez. Why is this man famous? What is the meaning of this thusness? Last night, "All Shook Up" had its after party,following Thursday's successful opening with Tommy Hilfinger and record mogul Clive Davis in attendance. Playbill notes of the afterparty:

"... But the center of most of the photo-flashing was that famously former 'American Idol,' Mario Vasquez. 'It's my first Broadway opening,' he gushed, 'and then I heard the party's at the Copa. Oh, my God!' Did he exit 'Idol' for Broadway? 'I'm not going to confirm anything. You have to keep your options open. As a New Yorker, you can't be stupid and be close-minded. You gotta be open to everything. Broadway is something I've thought about before. It's something I'm thinking about now, too. You never know.'"

Yes (Wan smile, a cold pagan smile at play on his lips) ... knowledge is elusive that way (The Corsair sparks up a mellow Hoyo de Monterey Excaliber). One never knows, as Mario Vasquez so ... simply put it.


Above: Win Rutherford and Oscar de la Renta prepare to make themselves a 'Leontine Price sandwich.' "I like-a de dark meat," claims Oscar, as Win looks on approvingly, all the while, slowly removing his trousers. (via NYSocialdiary)

In: Philanthropy in New York. Our favorite New York chronicler of Knickerbockers, David Patrick Columbia, is expanding:

"New York Social Diary regularly covers the kick off parties and benefit galas that showcase the seductive and glamorous aspect of philanthropic organizations in both our edit and our Party Pictures."

Glamorous and seductive, yes ... but positively ghastly *The Corsair shudders*. How about all those dozens Third World babies, converted into ... well, beverages (The Corsair has this information on good authority, we do not toss these accusations lightly), so that theTinsley Mortimer's of this world can retain their vibrant, glowing complexions. It's so unfair.

But we digress, DPC will cover this world of philanthropy:

"This is our first edition of what will be a weekly page devoted to Philanthropy in New York. An important part of New York Social Diary?s charter is to help promote the many wonderful organizations that provide a multitude of assistance, information, ideas, cultural and aesthetic contributions, and most importantly hope and inspiration to all kinds of people not only here in the city but all over the nation and the world.In terms of sheer volume and fund-raising activity, New York is the center of Philanthropy in the United States."

But we hope DPC takes a hard hitting investigative look when inner city kids go missing and Ellen Barkin's takes on an effervescent glow.

In: Andrea True. Once a porn star ... always a porn star, even, The Corsair supposes, decades afterwards. The guys at, who made "Inside Deep Throat," write:

"I just got a call from Andrea True. She was calling from Florida where she had just seen Inside Deep Throat ... She'd been to the 5PM matinee in Ft. Lauderdale. She said the theatre was quite busy. 'It was an elderly crowd, white-headed retirees. They were older than me, most of them in their sixties.'

"I asked what she liked about the film. 'It's a real commentary on the times, the '70s. It captured something about the '70s that I think people have forgotten.

"Was there anything that surprised her about the movie? 'I was hurt by the girls at the AVN convention. It was shocking to me that they didn't know anything about the history of their craft.'

The Corsair coughs up his glass of grappa, nearly choking at the unusual use of the word: 'craft.'

"We chatted for awhile, and she reminded me that if there are any great grandmother parts [Ed. note: not great-grandmother parts] in any upcoming films we are doing that we better consider her. I assured her we would. I was about to hang up when she suggested that perhaps we should set up a website where people could access the entirety of the interviews we've conducted. 'People spend a lot of time on those computers, people wanna be entertained. Charge people, charge 'em five bucks. And advertise it on those pornsites.'"

Once a pornstar ...

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