Saturday, March 12, 2005

The Gridiron Dinner : Geezers Getting Funky


Above: Little Russ really grills the hapless Dog on What He Knew About the Impending Dotcom collapse.

Ah, for the scent of mothballs! Tonight's Gridiron Dinner inaugurates Tim Russert, a broadcast journo, who gets special dispensation to attend this elite print journo confab of geezers (Geezer is the appropriate word here, as they have only one broadcast journo and no bloggers in attendance). It will be so best.

The invite proves that Tim is indeed the most powerful journo in the business (and though we kid him, we like him and his cool protoge, LX), the only game in town (Sorry Stephanopoulos, thy honeyed-voice does not a grown-up journo make), and, ancillary to that, the fact that political writers in an imperial city -- courtiers all, by the way -- know how to brownnose Russert ass with particularly roguish brio and gusto.

We imagine the standard line of the evening, oft repeated, entirely uncherished by Lord Russert, as the top shelf liquor evaporates into the hardy battle-scarred livers of some of our favorite aging scribblers being, "Call me, Tim ... I'd love to be a panelist sometime." And of course Tim won't, cocktease bigtime network journo that he is. Little Russ hasn't seen a papercut since Reagan was running hard and hungry.

Or something to that effect. Anyway (The Corsair sips on a vivacious 1992 Chardonnay), According to The Washingtonian (link via Wonkette):

"Saturday night�s Gridiron Club dinner will be, as usual, off the record. But your reporter talked his way into a rehearsal this afternoon at the Capital Hilton, a few blocks up from the White House.

"Here�s what to expect at this 120th annual dinner: geriatric journalists hamming it up on stage.
'It has gotten a little pass�,' one member whispered off the record. 'The leaders are groping to keep it relevant.'"

Off the record, honestly: Was that Bob Novak? The unauthorized use of the French has "Novak Social Misdemeanor" written all over it. That freak. Seriously. He's like a bad brandy, that Novak. He's got some conservative issues against letting TV types in da club.

"At least they�re aware of their relevance problem, according to this ditty sung to the tune of 'Take Me Out to the Ballgame.'"

At which point in the evening, David Broder and some hot little number he picked up from the local Senior Citizen's Home will regale the crowd with their particularly acrobatic renditions of "The Charleston," and the "Cha-Cha."

"Every president since Benjamin Harrison has attended the Gridiron�s satiric review, except for Grover Cleveland. "

And, according to popular lore, a randy Millard Filmore put a lascivious sounding whoopie cushion under Eleanor Clift's fanny. The scamp.

"But last year President George Bush, who had attended previous dinners, dissed the show. Word is he refused to sit next to Al Hunt, last year�s club president."

And who could blame him? Who among us would not be striken with "hair envy"? Any head of hair would not seem profoundly "unrobust" in comparison to Al's formidable coif.

And, according to Page Six: "Other singers will pose as filmmaker Michael Moore, sprinter Marion Jones, baseball star Barry Bonds, Sen. Ted Kennedy, Saudi Crown Prince Abdullah, House Majority Leader Tom DeLay, Pakistani President Musharraf and Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld."

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