Monday, March 07, 2005

Brigitte Marries Hubby #5! (correction: yesterday we wrote #6)


What about her "Foo-Fee"? Where's the strange love, Gitte? Apparently, Brigitte Nielson married her Italian boytoy, Mattia, according to Hello!Magazine:

"... The statuesque actress, who counts Sylvester Stallone among her previous husbands, has made her vows with Italian boyfriend Mattia Dessi.The 6ft 2in Dane has been dating Mattia, 15 years her junior, for just under a year.

"It was during a romantic holiday in the Dominican Republic that they took the plunge. Brigitte wore a pink rose tiara for the beach-side ceremony, and both she and her new husband jumped into the hotel pool immediately after saying 'I do.'"

The pink rose tiara is something new, she's already got the "Old" and "Blew" (past tense; drumroll, please, accompanied by the cymbal clash) down:

"'Yes, it's true we're married,' enthused Mattia afterwards. 'It was all very sudden but we are both very happy.' The couple first met at the Swiss hotel where he was working as a waiter this time last year."

Swiss food has that effect on sloppy drunk hangovers. We've been there. Mattia had her at the Bundnerfleish [air dried beef] and Chocolate fondue:

"They have since moved to Milan, where the local press has dubbed them 'the odd couple' because she is eight inches taller than him."

That's not nice; seven inches is still respectable, Mattia, ignore them. It was actually quite a respectable affair. At ceremonies end, the minister gently said to Gitte, happily,"You may kiss the bitch":

"News of their wedding comes just a fortnight after she was rushed to hospital following a severe asthma attack. The 42-year-old was treated at a New York clinic but her representatives insisted the incident wouldn't slow her down one bit. 'Brigitte is a dynamic, strong spirit and we know that she will be up and around and back to her normal self in no time,' they said."

On the asthma, ITN explains:

"Sylvester Stallone's ex-wife Brigitte Nielsen must wait for tests to reveal why she collapsed as she was driving through New York.

"Docs think Celebrity Big Brother contestant Brigitte, 41, suffered an asthma attack after she began to hyperventilate at the wheel.

"Her co-star on a US reality show, Public Enemy rapper Flavour Flav, reportedly jumped out of the car and ran between moving traffic to flag down an ambulance."

It was a car wreck at the get go, Flav.

In other Stallone news: That inglorious bastard told Howard Stern today that his daughters read two poems a day out loud to help with "diction." Apparently, Sly wants to spare his children the taunts that have accompanied his own "Simian" locution.

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