Thursday, March 31, 2005

A Little of The Old In and Out


Above: Guess which one is not plastic.

In: The Whole Rosie Blog Deal. Rosie O'Donnell's blog is a shameful pleasure. One longs for a refreshing shower immediately upon completion of some of her naught else but awful shit. Poetry, as a genre, is obsolete, to be sure, subsumed into the narrative style of the dying novel; and yet ... Rosie breathes new poetic life, as when she blogs about the luckless attorney, Mark Houser, saying, "he - a man - a stranger privy to my creepiest corners/ he has seen my twisted mind guided only by some mad yellow truth/ purging via keyboard - demons of the night."

Alright. Leaving aside the "mad yellow truth" stains all up in her "creepiest corners" (Averted Gaze), the whole concept of a celebrity-blogging-bad-poetry is interesting. Where is she going with this? How will it all end? The Corsair will keep abreast of developments and keep you informed.


(link via Drundel)

Out: Jordana Brewster. Sashay, shante. According to the RuPaul blog:

"TIM and i were on our way up to LaHOMA's apartment to watch THE FAYE DUNAWAY SHOW, when we ran into JORDANA BREWSTER, the star of D.E.B.S. coming out of the building. i told her i had just seen her movie last night. she said 'i can't believe RuPAUL is standing here telling me you saw my movie!' i said 'anytime bitches are kicking ass in a movie, i'm so there!' we laughed and said goodbye, but what i didn't say was that i walked out of the film after a very painful first hour."

(The Corsair puts out a saucer of milk)


(image via

In: Governor Bill Richardson. The Corsair has believed for some time now that Indiana Senator Evan Bayh, an underestimated player in the American political arena, would score the 2008 Democratic nomination after a brutal, rip roaring cross-country civil war with the over-cautious Hillary Clinton. Now I'm not so sure. New Mexico Governor Bill Richardson, also from a Red State (and turning red states blue is a magic act crucial for the 2008 nominee), is displaying some formidable politicking in addition to his legendary ambition, according to TheHill:

"Party strategists and some governors suspect Richardson is plotting to parlay his chairmanship of (the Democratic Governor's Association), a committee that can raise soft money, into hard support for a possible presidential bid in 2008, presuming that he wins reelection in 2006, said several Democratic strategists who are in contact with the DGA."

And the Hispanic Richardson, unlike Bayh, is not -- ahem -- charismatically-encumbered.


(image via Brandeis)

Out: Ted Koppel. If a tree falls in the woods and no one is there to hear it, did it really fall? On the same principle: If Ted Koppel leaves Nightline ... ya know what I mean?

According to the AP: "Ted Koppel, who has anchored ABC News' 'Nightline' since its inception a quarter-century ago, said Thursday he will leave the network when his contract expires at the end of the year.

"His departure comes at a time of questions about the future of his late-night news program, which has been declining in the ratings and was threatened three years ago when ABC tried to lure David Letterman from CBS. 'Ted and I have discussed a number of options under which he might have remained at Nightline or in some other capacity at ABC News, but Ted believes this is the right time for him to leave,' ABC News President David Westin said."

And, immediately after saying that, we imagine Dave Westin did an fetching and energetic rendition of the "Cha-Cha," with other senior ABC executives in tow, as Champagne bottles were a 'poppin in the background.

Hey, 11:30 pm is prime eyeball real estate and it's nearly impossible to evict the paleosaur newsman without suffering media crucifixion in the process. The media looks after its own.

It's better to let the newsies extinctify themselves on their own terms, freeing up the slot -- and then pop the bubbly.

In: Ralph Lauren. Democracy, or at least a modicum of transparency is coming to the tents. Remember when, before Metro TV -- maybe 5 years ago -- the tents were virtually impenetrable, except for second hand knowledge gleaned through the gossip columns? Well, according to the Jim Shi at Fashionweekdaily:

"... Starting in early April, computer-fashion junkies can log onto and view a special video that will chronicle not just the runway show, but all the behind-the-scenes action, as well. Entitled 'From the Front Row,' the clip will enable those not at the show to see the entire backstage buzz as models get prepped in hair and makeup. To complement the backstage, interviews from the front row with fashion A-listers and celebrities will be presented as well. Among those weighing in on the designer's Fall 2005 collection and discussing the upcoming season's trends are Elle fashion director Nina Garcia, Vogue editor-at-large Andr� Leon Talley, and Harper's Bazaar editor-in-chief Glenda Bailey, not to mention actress and Ralph Lauren-muse Emmy Rossum and model Lauren Bush."

We're so there.

Out: Christo and "Jeanne-Fraud." These two pseudo-artists are at it again, apparently addicted to the New York media's attentions. According to Rush and Molloy:

"Christo and wife Jeanne-Claude will be roasted - no doubt in orange sauce - this Saturday at the 83rd annual Inner Circle show. The artistic couple is due to attend the comic festivities even though their Central Park installation, The Gates, will be likened to shower curtains and car-wash flaps."

Don't they have some other municipality to defraud? Some other aesthetically confused urban administrator to scam? Don't they have another scheme at the ready involving some marginally clever statement draped across some public space? Why must they besiege New York, my city, with their artistic bastardy?

If only they were roasted quite literally in ochre grease paints. If goddamfucking only.


Above: An astonished Ellen Weiser congratulates a very self-satisfied Anthony Haden-Guest after his 83rd consecutive glass of Beefeater Gin.

In: The Lulu Guinness Auction. Our favorite chronicler of Knickerbockers, David Patrick Columbia, writes in NYSocialDiary:

"... Meanwhile over at Sotheby?s last night there was a big party for Lulu Guinness, the prominent British socialite and designer whose witty and amusing handbags are manufactured in series of 500 only, are collectibles, and sold at Bergdorf?s and at Lulu Guinness shops here in New York (in the Village), in London and in Los Angeles. Mrs. Guinness (Lulu to you) has also just published an amusing and witty book for Rizzoli, called Put On Your Pearls Girls!

"So the galleries at Sotheby's were decorated (by Rush Jenkins) with illustrations from Mrs. Guinness' book and with displays of her famous handbags, and filled to the rafters with bright young things (mainly young, presumably bright, of course), many of whom were dressed in that Guinness witty and amusing way.There was also an auction of three of the Lulu Guinness handbags - one in the shape of a famous dress that Schiaparelli designed for the Duchess of Windsor long long ago; another was in the shape of a dress that Mainbocher designed for the Duchess of Windsor also a long long time ago, and the third was with a portrait of a Picasso 'blue period' painting that sold at Sotheby's a few months ago for $104 million. The three handbags sold for between $1200 and $1400 a piece and the proceeds will go entirely to Children Affected by AIDS Foundation (CAAF)."

Out: Paris and Kimberly. Of these two, those intrepid Page Sixxies write:

"At an L.A. concert by her boyfriend Cisco Adler's band Whitestarr, Kimberly and pal Paris Hilton ducked into a stall in the ladies room, prompting an impatient lass in line to yell, 'At least save some for us!' "

Gee, The Corsair wonders what they were doing in there.

"When Paris finally emerged, one bladder-bursting babe relieved herself in a sink. 'You dirty bitch!' Paris yelped."

Delivered, one imagines, in crisp and even tone, with a reptilian archness about the last syllable. -- And then:

"The heiress, who apparently reconsidered her harsh appraisal, then added, 'That's hot!' and left the loo."

Flat ass, no doubt, twitching as she sauntered off.

In: Gawker Media Social Engineering. The Corsair found this interview with Lockhart Steele on IWantmedia interesting:

"Steele: Actually, this bonus system is new for 2005. We're now testing it out. The writers don't all like it, to be frank. I think some writers would rather just focus on their writing.

"Basically, what we're saying to the writers is that they need to have an entrepreneurial instinct. We're trying to test the idea of asking writers not only to write but also kind of think with a business mindset about their content. This could be a failed experiment."

But an interesting one.


Anonymous said...

Oh, please. Wonkette is the only one with any writing ability; if the others are "focusing" on their writing, it don't show.

Anonymous said...

"Jean-Fraud" That's pretty harsh. I knd of liked the gates.

The Corsair said...

I thought the Gates were clever, but I don't think they were an occasion of art. I'm as harsh on Jean-Fraud -- and everyone -- as I am on myself.


Anonymous said...

In the LRoB, Hal Foster wrote the best review of the Gates that I've read. You might enjoy it:

The Corsair said...

that is the best review I have read on the subject as well. Thanks you for posting it. Ron