Wednesday, March 30, 2005

A Little of the Old In and Out

Above: A photo, via Hello!Magazine, of the first meeting -- and flirtation -- of the soon-to-be-wed Royals.

In: The Prince Charles-Camilla Parker Bowles Timeline. Hello!Magazine today has an interesting timeline of the Camilla Parker Bowles-Prince Charles romance, if you go in for that sort of thing (and we do). The marriage is on Friday (hooray for true love), in an out of the way courthouse. Link here.


(image via Grudgematch)

Out: Mischa Barton as Wonderwoman. Not an inspired idea, to be sure. Princess Diana of Themyscira is the archetype of the strong and principled warrior Iron Lady. Condiesque, even. Okay, I care too much about this, but nothing about Mischa Barton strikes me as strong, principled or even warrior-like. Mischa Barton suggests to me: woman of leisure, woman to be waited upon -- not Amazonian. A Mischa Barton choice would be as disatrous as the Cathy Lee Crosby Wonder Woman!

Cinematical makes the strongest case against MischaMischaMischa:

"There are reports swirling around the web that Mischa Barton - who currently spends most of her time pairing petulant alcoholic bisexuality with Marc Jacobs separates as Marissa Cooper on The O.C. - is at the top of the list of potential stars for Joss Whedon's Wonder Woman. This sounds great - except for the fact that it doesn't at all. As Moviehole astutely points out, Barton's O.C. costar Rachel Bilson very convincingly wore the Wonder Woman costume last season to seduce Seth Cohen - and, she's a much sexier, much more interesting actress than the milquetoast Barton, who for all her dishwater-glamour doesn't strike me as super-heroine material."

Cinematical then goes on to nominate Elisha Dusku, which sounds about right to The Corsair.

In: The CFDA Awards. All the usual suspects are represented. There are not too many surprises in the nominations, but some interesting awards will be given out on June 6th at the New York Public Library. The very cool Jim Shi at Fashionweekdaily writes, "Diane von Furstenberg (will receive the CFDA) Lifetime Achievement Award ... In addition, Kate Moss will receive the council's Fashion Influence Award in lieu of the traditional Fashion Icon Award, which went to Sarah Jessica Parker last year."

Out: Be Cool. Waaay "out." This film is suffused with suckyosity, replete with razzies, brimming with bastardy. According to Contactmusic, Quentin Tarrantino, a man who has a thing for feet (and syringes and ass, alas), dismisses the movie Be Cool, offhand, as a stinker:

"Both (Uma) Thurman, 34, and (John) Travolta, 51, love the Be Cool dance, but Tarantino has dismissed not only the homage to his original scene, but the entire movie.

"He says, ' ... No, I haven't seen it, I won't see it. It looks like the CANNONBALL RUN to me.

"'Everytime I keep seeing that poster I keep expecting to see JAMIE FARR as that Sheik guy sitting right next to CEDRIC THE ENTERTAINER.

"It's Cannonball Run 4, so I haven't seen it, sorry.'"

Sorry is a state of being exhibited acutely by those lamentable exiting a "Be Cool" (Averted Gaze) screening (exaggerated cough suggesting feigned detachment).

In: John McCain, Straight Talk Express. Now The Corsair is sure that John McCain is running in 2008. Our favorite superhero crime fighting gossip duo Rush and Molloy report:

"Nothing is exempt from partisan analysis. Arizona Sen. Jon Kyl was kind enough to point out to President Bush that there was some stray breakfast food on his face during a recent visit to Tucson. Bush had already greeted Kyl's fellow Republican Sen. John McCain and Democratic Arizona Gov. Janet Napolitano, both of whom apparently neglected to mention the schmutz, the Arizona Star's C.J. Karamargin noticed..."

A smear in Arizona for, say, a smear in South Carolina. Alls fair in love and politics.

Out: Animal Fair Magazine. Ironists? According to

"If you thought Awards Season was over, you're barking mad. Animal Fair magazine -- which aims to be Vanity Fair for the pet set -- has just announced its Five Dog Bone Awards for exceptionally pet-friendly companies, products and destinations. Two winners do the Southland proud: Montecito's swanky San Ysidro Ranch (Pet-Friendly Resort) and Carmel-by-the-Sea's Cypress Inn (Pet-Friendly Hotel). But don't expect PeTA to congratulate the winners, or the magazine. Fur lovers Beyonce and Kimora Lee Simmons are cover girls for the mag."

We will refrain entirely from any commentary of Kimora Lee Simmons appearing on the cover "Animal Fair." We reject the easy. Exceptions, of course, could be made for Naomi Campbell.

In: David Patrick Columbia Versus The Lowdown. David Patrick Columbia never struck me as the type to give out a bitchy quote in print. That's why The Corsair was kind of surprised about the Lowdown item on Tuesday that appeared to show him on the attack against Melania Knauss, Donald Trump's Eastern European whorelet (The Corsair said David doesn't do bitchy quotes .. The Corsair does them at the drop of a hat), as having a "ways to go" before being a big gun in Manhattan society. Apparently, the quote was taken a ways out of context, says DPC in NYSocialDiary:

"... This is just a simple matter of manipulating the facts to insult one person and make another look mean-spirited, a perfect example of why media today is in trouble and a lot of people don?t believe any of it. Instead of reporting the facts, they use them to create bad news."

15, Love.

Out: Marion "Suge" Knight. If The Corsair were a judge (on this blog I am only Arbiter Elegantiae) and Suge Knight walked -- no strutted -- into my courtroom, with his pimp roll, we would be compeled to shout out, in the interests of the just, "Guilty!"

But that's just The Corsair. According to the AP:

" A judge has ordered Marion 'Suge' Knight to pay $107 million to a woman who claims she helped the rap mogul start Death Row Records, ruling Knight and his attorneys failed to answer questions and provide information in the case.

"Superior Court Judge Ronald M. Sohigian ordered Knight and his companies, including Tha Row Inc., to pay Lydia Harris, who claims she is owed money from the recording label she helped establish.

"Lydia Harris is married to Michael 'Harry O' Harris, an imprisoned drug dealer, who has claimed he put up $1.5 million from behind bars in 1991 to help start Death Row Records. Knight has repeatedly denied that contention."

All the best entrepreneurial ideas are hatched in the slammer, didn't you know? We hear is setting up a bureau at Rikers.

In: The Huffington Report. So, everyone is talking about Tina Brown's blog and The Huffington Report. The Corsair woke up late, so here it is, via Business 2.0:

" As a canary-in-the-coal-mine sign, Tina Brown is the perfect bird. The British-born editor is the consummate MSM insider, who, just as the dotcom boom was peaking, was pouring her media-mogul hopes and dreams into Talk magazine. (Remember that it had the preliminary subtitle of 'The American Conversation,' a mantle snatched away with gusto by the collective inhabitants of the blogosphere.)

"The blogosphere seemed safe enough. These days Brown is busy with her cable-TV show, her Washington Post column, and the research for her seven-figure bio of Princess Diana. After a St. Patrick's Day rant in her column in which she point-blank declared that snoopy bloggers 'are the new Stasi,' I figured blogging would remain the hole-in-the-wall haven for journalistic outlaws.

"But my sense of security was short-lived. Starting next month Brown is crashing the bloggers' party, as Arianna Huffington's guest. Huffington, the conservative-turned-liberal author, pundit, California gubernatorial candidate, and bona fide blogger, is adding 'media entrepreneur' to her list of titles with a new online publishing venture, the Huffington Report.

"Based in New York and staffed with a full complement of editors, the Huffington Report appears to be a culture and politics webzine in the classic mold of Salon or Slate. It will have breaking news, a media commentary section called 'Eat the Press,' and its most interesting innovation, a group blog manned by the cultural and media elite: Sen. Jon Corzine, Larry David, Barry Diller, Tom Freston, David Geffen, Vernon Jordan, Gwyneth Paltrow, and Harry Evans and his wife, Tina Brown. That's just to name a few, and Huffington is still recruiting."

Wasn't Huffington, like, the unelected Mayor of Hollywood when last we checked? Now, it appears she is on a campaign to conquer New York as well. All power to her. The Corsair finds Arianna Huffington a dark, somewhat sinister, media presence, but, above all, incredibly interesting and "sessy."

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