Wednesday, March 23, 2005

A Little of the Old In and Out


In: Pat O'Brien. According to Gatecrasher, Pat O'Brien may indeed have what it takes to be governor of South Dakota after all:

"A witness says O'Brien actually licked co-host Nancy O'Dell's face at an 'Access Hollywood' Christmas party. At the same event, he was seen groping reporter Shaun Robinson's behind.

"A gay male producer told our source O'Brien once said to him, 'I have a gift for you.' When asked what, O'Brien allegedly answered, 'Bend over.' On another occasion, he allegedly stretched out on the producer's sofa and asked, 'What would you do if I masturbated in front of you?'

"He also allegedly offended two African-American employees when he walked into a makeup room and greeted them with, 'What's up, my n��s!' Could it be O'Brien feels that he's down with the bruthas because he once appeared in a P. Diddy video? O'Brien's lawyer, Abel Lezcano, said: 'As far as being able to verify or deny this stuff, I can't do it.'"

O'Brien may want to get a lawyer a little more in touch with his inner Pinnochio; but, as far as The Corsair can tell about these undenied allegations, nothing that has been done thus appears to disqualify him from a magnificent and fulfilling career in South Dakota politics.

Out: On Billy Idol's Graying Pubis. Nice day for a ... white weeding. According to Ananova:

"Billy, who has been bleaching the hair on his head for decades, does not like the colour of his hair down below.

"According to Digitalspy quoting Maxim magazine he said: 'I shaved my balls - they were going grey, so I shaved them. It's like steel wool down there!'"

(A considerable pause) Thanks for sharing!

In: Janeane Garofalo. According to the National Enquirer, "Comic and radio talk show host Janeane Garofalo been cast in the lead role of the NBC pilot 'All In.' The comedy is based on the life of mother and poker champ, Annie Duke who raised three children while playing poker for a living."

Ducky. While, on the right, Matt Drudge has his panties in a twist over the new HBO Air America documentary, airing March 31st, saying, "Host Janeane Garofalo looks suicidal in nearly ever scene which she appears." Aw, tell us how you really feel, Matty.

Out: Free Agents. Angelina sold her soul. We knew she'd have to give in sooner or later, but we are surprised Angelina Jolie held out for this long. According to Hollywood Reporter:

"Ending nearly a decade of agent-free representation, Oscar-winning actress Angelina Jolie has signed with Creative Artists Agency. "

In: HBO. The Corsair found amazing the intense HBO film Sometimes in April, on the Rwanda genocide. And we look forward to the Air America documentary. As Mediaworkstation puts it:

"HBO is behind a quiet revolution, changing the films we watch and where we watch them. The company, celebrating its 30th anniversary this year, has built a reputation of attracting top-notch talent, and producing films that marry artistic vision with technical achievements, such as its pioneering digital mastering techniques on films like Conspiracy, Band of Brothers and Point of Origin.

�'HBO Films is one of the few places where directors, writers and actors can make the sort of intelligent, sophisticated and entertaining movies that once defined the very best in American filmmaking,' said Colin Callender, president, HBO Films. 'We hope, in the process, that we are offering a discerning audience quality movies that are increasingly difficult to find elsewhere.'"

They are.

In: Liz Smith, Gushing over Pam Anderson. Usually, Liz Smith gushes over the classier dames, the Julianne Moore's or Jennifer Connelly's of the world, or, frankly, anyone from Texas. Liz Smith has a thing for Texan women. And so we were surprised when Liz said this today:

"THE LAST time we glimpsed Pamela Anderson was Oscar night at Elton John's party. She was precariously poised over a seated Elizabeth Taylor. Precarious, because Pam looks like the classic bureau with the top drawer out, ready to topple over.

"Pam wore her sunglasses at night and resembled a hot, gangsterish Brigitte Bardot."

Cool down, Liz; cease that lascivious whistling immediately. And stop shooting Pam Anderson those moist looks. The New York Post is a family newspaper, after all!

Out: Alex Winters on Keanu Reeves. The Corsair is obsessed -- obsessed! -- with this article, where Alex Winters says:

"Alex Winter: Maybe (Keanu) still had some 'Whoas' and 'Dudes' left in him, but he�s not Ted. He�s a bourgeois, shy intellectual from Toronto. He couldn�t be further removed from the So-Cal mall rat."

No comment.

In: Happy Birthday Chaka Khan. And, like, is that your real name?


Above: Pundit Michael Barone. A man whose face all but begs the observer to promptly relieve him of his lunch money.

Out: Michael Barone. The Corsair doesn't know why he hates Michael Barone. It must be chemical. He just rubs us the wrong way. The Corsair refers to his meticulous Almanac oftentimes during the year, we find it quite useful, but still ... The Corsair doesn't like his face. He writes (link via Wonkette):

"Examining the political map of America, as I am obliged to do as I write the chapters of 'The Almanac of American Politics 2006,' reveals a previously unidentified segment of the American electorate, one which has been growing for some years now but has reached a critical mass and become a major force in one of our two great political parties: the trustfunder left.

"Who are the trustfunders? People with enough money not to have to work for a living, or not to have to work very hard. People who can live more or less wherever they want. The 'nomadic affluent,' as demographic analyst Joel Kotkin calls them."

Somewhere, in the social sciences department at Harvard, a professor is chuckling into a marginally impressive Chablis (Averted Gaze) after reading those words. In those precints what you have just read is often mistaken for wit. Not here, though. Here we find Michael Barone to a pompous ass. One well past due for a robust wedgie.


In: Paper Magazine's 8th Annual Beautiful People Issue Party.Big ups to the Paper fam -- Kim, David, Mickey. Fashionweekdaily reports:

"... The harrowing wait outside was washed away by bottles of Svedka vodka, stolen freely from the bar by eager party kids and the Beautiful People among them, including designer/ publicist/ blondie Eleanor Lembo, clad in Stella McCartney and a Hanes tank top. On her public proclamation of beauty, Eleanor confessed, 'I have no idea why Paper chose me, but I�m very flattered! The list is so eclectic, people who are passionate about what they do, and I like being part of that.'

"Eleanor arrived with rocker fianc� John Ylvisaker, whom she introduced before asking, 'do I have to spell his name for you? I�m changing my name, too�I think I�ll be spelling it for the rest of my life!'

"... We went straight to the source�editor in chief David Hershkovits�to find out. 'You don�t have to do anything!' insisted Paper�s founder. 'Well, okay, maybe suck up to Mickey Boardman a little bit.'

"Maybe that explains why this month�s cover boy was Scissor Brother Jake Shears, a former Paper intern. Of his prot�g�-turned-flaming rock star, Mickey quipped, 'if that doesn�t prove taking your clothes off and working for free won�t get you far, then I don�t know what does!'"

He said it (The Corsair nervously shuffles his feet), I didn't.


Anonymous said...

Ugh - not Billy's graying balls first thing in the morning! You'll make me throw up my large hazelnut.

The Corsair said...

okay, my dear, for you -- no more graying rocker balls posts.