Saturday, October 02, 2004

A Little of the Old In and Out

Out: French Farce. Not that I am one to judge, but the romantic life of the Olsen Twins -- this must be a Gemini thing -- increasingly resemble something out of de Mussett. Page Six writes today:

" THAT Ali Fatourechi � who is dating Mary-Kate Olsen � is also hooking up with actress Vanessa Marcil."

You'll remember, back in May, Page Six wrote:

"(Ed Note: Then boyfriend) JEFFREY Katzenberg's son David is two-timing Mary-Kate Olsen with at least two other girls, reports Star magazine. The weekly claims that Mary-Kate 'has no idea of her boyfriend's infidelities' and would be 'crushed' if she knew he was cheating on her. Meanwhile, as PAGE SIX first reported, Ashley Olsen dumped her boyfriend of three years, Columbia football quarterback Matt Kaplan, to whom Star says she lost her virginity. Kaplan got the boot because he was 'really overbearing,' said a source. 'He was very jealous . . . and I think all the pressure . . . he was putting on her finally soured her feelings for him.'"

And, according to The London Free Press: "Ashley Olsen has a taste for older man

"Ashley Olsen, 18, has a sexy sidekick -- and it's not her twin, Mary-Kate. Ashley's dating New York restaurateur Scott Sartiano, 11 years older than her. This romance is good news for pencil thin Mary-Kate, who says she actually loves the food at the trendy restaurant Scott owns."

Whew. All clear? Okay, let's move on..

In: Hello! Magazine's Celebrity Quizes. Shallow? Oh yes -- so very. Fun? Bien sur. As Hello says, "How much do you know about Naomi's many years in the fashion biz? Test your knowledge!" (The Corsair got a 70 percent on that quiz) Or, "How much do you know about the Aussie lass who married into Europe'soldest monarchy?" And: "How much do you know about Denmark's beautiful and stylish Princess Alexandra?"

Start game here.

Out: OJ: Is "the Juice" about to get squeezed? Are the IRS going to run up on Juicy and do a Capone? According to that significant cultural artifact, The National Enquirer, that is precisely what is about to go down:

"O.J. Simpson is going to jail!

"Simpson's sports agent Mike Gilbert says he has proof that O.J. is guilty of massive tax evasion--a charge that could put Simpson behind bars for up to five years. Gilbert tells The ENQUIRER that O.J. allegedly failed to report almost $1 million in income from memorabilia deals and interviews, hid $1 million in property that was supposed to compensate the families of murder victims Nicole Brown Simpson and Ron Goldman."

Can't you already see pseudojournalist Gerlado Rivera all over this like stupid on Paris Hilton?

In: Ohio Politics. That's hott. Not since Sherwood Anderson has Ohio been this hott. According to DC's Prince of Darkness (before the broken hip), Robert Novak:

"The Bush administration's latest $7.1 billion disaster relief package goes beyond the Gulf states hit by the latest hurricanes and includes states that may determine the presidential election.
The requested federal help would go to three non-coastal states untouched by Hurricane Jeanne: Ohio, Pennsylvania and West Virginia. All are battlegrounds, closely contested by George W. Bush and John Kerry.

"A footnote: Republican operatives are grumbling about Republican Sen. Mike DeWine, who has taken the Senate floor repeatedly over the last year and a half to deliver long, mournful eulogies of Ohioans fallen in battle. The complaint is that DeWine's funereal posture is not helping President Bush carry the key state."

Most curious.

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