Saturday, October 30, 2004

A Little of the Old In and Out

Above: Hello, luscious.

In: The Renee Zellwegger-Jacinda Barrett Collabo. Hott. *The Corsair gives his computer screen moist looks, ignites Camel Filter* Something called Britain's News of the World is running this drrty, filthy salacious photo -- thank you, Easter Bunny -- of Renne Zellwegger kissing former Real World Londoner, Jacinda Barrett -- parading their Sapphic Love:

"Britain's most famous singleton has swapped Darcy for Marcy in the sequel to Bridget Jones's Diary.

"And what's more, actresses Ren�e Zellweger and Jacinda Barrett needed an astonishing EIGHT takes to get the same-sex smacker right.

"A film insider said: 'They were very nervous about sharing their first kiss, but they were total professionals.'

"'They also received a lot of support from the crew�most of whom were male and most of whom grew more and more supportive as the take count climbed ever higher.'"

Crazy like Swayze.

Out: The Shania Twain- Mark McGrath Collabo. WTF?! We know, it sounds like a bad idea from the get-go, I mean, why multiply the productions of lame musicians by a factor of two? Wouldn't the proper A & R strategy have been to isolate and overproduce as much musical poo out of these two frauds seperately before the listening public caught on to the sham? One does not sell snakoil to the same town twice, playa.

According to Stereogum, McGrath and Twain have officially jumped the shark, and not a moment too soon. Says one irate Stereogum reader, Robb, who watched the video and forever lost two precious minutes of precious life:

"I swear to God, Mark McGrath must wake up every morning, lie in bed, and ask himself, 'what can I do to be an even bigger douchebag than I was yesterday? Oh, I know....'

"This is gonna be huge at Walmart."

And, from Michelle:

"This video makes my soul hurt."

Mine too. Check out more commentary -- and the video in question -- here (Averted Gaze).

In: Hasselhoff Gets Off. The Corsair loves him his Knight Rider -- and so does Germany, so you better not hassell the Hoff, according to the SFGate Dish:

"Former 'Baywatch' star David Hasselhoff narrowly avoided a jail sentence on drunk driving charges Thursday.

"The 52-year-old actor was ordered to attend 50 Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) meetings, fined $200, placed on probation for 36 months and ordered to complete 200 hours of community service after pleading 'no contest' to driving with excess alcohol.

"Hasselhoff was also ordered to complete a driver's course before he is allowed to drive -- other than to work or taking his children to school.

"... A court in Van Nuys, Calif., ruled Hasselhoff must complete his community service working for the charity Wheels for Humanity, which provides wheelchairs for disabled children in poor families."

Out: Kate Moss by Lucien Freud. The Corsair loves Kate Moss. But: The Corsair is not the greatest, hmm, Lucien Freud fan as his work is very, uh, talented gred school student, and, somewhat, er, gaudy, and this new portrait doesn't help his rep:

Yuuuuck ....! I guess we could store it in "the loo" ...

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