Wednesday, October 27, 2004

Julia Roberts: Taking 5 Years Off For Her Twins

Where is Julia Roberts? We know she's going to be in the Ocean's Eleven sequel around Christmastime, but what about the paparazzi? Where are the pictures in Us Magazine of her in sweats buying groceries. The Corsair is a big (air quotes) "celebrity buying groceries in sweats" fetishist, if you really want to know. TMI?

Anyhoo: Why is Julia giving us "ice." Is The Corsair a freak simply because he wants to have paparazzi photos of the progression of Julia's belly during the pregancy? And is The Corsair a freak because he wants to put them over his bed separated into a triadic structure per trimester? What? I'm a freak? Whatever.

It's like Julia's disappeared off the face of the earth and doesn't want to be stalked anymore. No fun. The Corsair thought that, subconsciously, all celebrities wanted to be stalked. Dirty little bitches.

According to Hello! Magazine, we can look forward to a 5 year haitus from Julia (phooey!), who recently, had a bit of a scare:

"Pregnant movie star Julia Roberts is being kept in hospital for observation after starting contractions two months early. The Oscar-winner, who is expecting twins in January, was rushed to a Los Angeles hospital by her cameraman husband Danny Moder early on Saturday morning. The 36-year-old was connected to a foetal monitor until the contractions stopped, and both she and the babies are now said to be fine.

"It is expected she will be confined to bed for the remainder of her pregnancy, however. The scare comes just a few days after Julia inadvertently revealed the sexes of her children.

"Speaking in an interview to promote her forthcoming flick Closer, the actress let slip that she is carrying a boy and a girl. Having recently completed filming on the crime caper Ocean's Twelve, Julia is also planning to take a long break from the movies. According to her personal trainer Kathy Kaehler, the performer may be off work for as long as five years. 'She's waited so long to be a mother, and fought so hard to be one, that she wants to devote all her time to her babies,' explained the fitness instructor. 'She says she's taking at least five years off to raise her twins.'"

How long do you think before Julia Roberts' fitness instructor is Julia Roberts' ex fitness instructor for giving that kind of a quote away? Hello!Magazine must have plied her with crack cocaine. You know those Brits. They're crafty ...

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