Thursday, February 10, 2005

Nicole Kidman Breast Enhancement?
Correction: Note: Page Six Reports that Eucalypus' inturruption is on Russell Crowe's head, not Kidman's boobs

Hollywood holds women up to absurd standards of beauty to which men are exempt. Large men are "cuddly," and "teddy bearish" score sit com deals with superhott younger women, while Kirstie Alley and Rosanne are held to public ridicule and are grist for the late night comedy monologues. The Corsair's tastes often tend to run counter to public opinion.There is nothing wrong with the highwater bootie. A little "arroz con pollo" -- as my caramel brothers in Spanish Harlem say -- on a woman is, quite frankly, exciting to us, it gives us something to hold onto. And, really, who the hell cares if she doesn't have double d's? We like Nicole Ritchie's apple-sized breastage just fine.

Evidently Karl Lagerfeld disagrees, fueling more of the Hollywood Beauty Myth. This curious piece from Popbitch:

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"Filming on Russell Crowe and Nicole Kidman's new movie Eucalyptus has been interrupted because, on-set gossip suggests, Nicole has sneaked off for a quick breast enhancement. This is apparently her second, and sources claim there's a third one planned, to help her attain the perfect Hollywood cleavage. Unlike most concrete-chested starlets, Nicole knows that small incremental changes are the classy way to build up your chest."

Which makes us wonder if Karl Lagerfeld's bitchy remark so recently reported by The Scoop came into play in the alleged decision:

"The fashion world is atwitter after one of the world?s top designers blasted Nicole Kidman?s looks.

"Making matters worse, the designer is Karl Lagerfeld, the man behind Chanel, where Kidman is a pitchwoman. Kidman stars in ads for Chanel No. 5 ? wearing a gown by Lagerfeld ? in a deal reportedly worth $5 million.

"Lagerfeld has been quoted blasting Kidman?s 'bizarre body make-up' and ridiculing her beauty as fake. 'She has this bizarre body make-up: endless legs and not very much in the way of breasts,' Lagerfeld was quoted as saying in the Express of London. 'What she shows to the world is not her. Her perfection is an illusion: she knows it and couldn't give a damn. There are recipes I can?t divulge.'"

"'This sounds impossible to me,' Kidman?s spokeswoman, Catherine Olim, told The Scoop."

Well, true to form, today filming was delayed on Eucalyptus, for weather purposes, which was scheduled to start this week. Hmm.


Anonymous said...

You wrote Nicole SIMPSON. That's totally random, no? You were just checking if we were paying attention, right? By the way, I love your view of the world and thank you for brightening each of my days.

The Corsair said...

totally. just checking. thank you anonymous! I just changed Nicole Simpson to Ritchie. My well paid factcheckers will be thoroughy horsewhipped for the lapse.