Saturday, February 05, 2005

A Little of the Old In and Out

In: Ben Widdicombe. In today's "Don't Shoot the Messenger," NYDaily News Gatecrasher Ben Widdicombe writes: "Which Post scribe was overheard bragging at a Bendel's event that the only item she had on that she paid for was her scarf? 'I just call the publicists and give them my size,' boasted the graft-loving gal."

Hmm. We have no idea, but we like to play detective (the Aquarius Ascendant) and there are a few candidates who have written faily glowing Bendel pieces -- ahem, blowjobs -- of late: In the Saturday Post, the frisky duo of Sara Stewart and Megan Miller take us on an exotic survey of Bendel's "cute rubber ducky vibrators." We don't know what is weirder about the piece -- the fact that they actually asked a 17-year old girl to identify the function of said poultry camouflaged sex devices, or the fact that the 17-year old guessed correctly.

Kids these days ... To keep it on the up-and-up, to be fair, they did also get a critical quote from Frank Russo, spokesman for the American Family Association. As you can imagine, Frank the Crank gives us his best Jonathan Edwards "Sinners in the Hands of an Angry God" sermon, minus the literacy, extra heavy on the vengeance talk. He may or may not have perorated against alchemy and witchcraft ... we kind of zoned out at the quotation mark.

Danica Low also wrote a glowing few lines on Bendel here, so your guess is as good as ours as to whom Gatecrasher means.

Out: Al Sharpton. The Reverend Al is kind of like the crazy, Riunite on Ice slurping, Uncle-that-lives-in-the-basement-apartment and listens to Barry White all day to the African-American community. We like him behind closed doors, but we wouldn't actually acknowledge him in public.

The clothing is a little too ... Polyester (and purple, besides); the hair is too ... James Brown; the medallions are a little too ... expressive of his astrological sign (did we ask?); his vibe is too ... 70s pimp. In the old days, a certain amount of hustling to "get over" was acceptable. Now it's not. Al was left behind. Sure, his type can be amusing to listen to at family get togethers -- he keeps it real, he can appreciate the kitsch value of Champale (or maybe he can't); but when he starts talking seriously ... in front of serious people ... with unintended laugh lines drawing laughs... well, then this sort of thing happens (Averted Gaze):

"The Rev. Al Sharpton has joined PETA in calling for a boycott of fast-food chain KFC, in a new TV and radio campaign.

"Sharpton is urging the black community to join the People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals' boycott of the franchise, the animal protection group announced Thursday.

"'If KFC wants to take our money and use it to pay for sloppy practices that hurt animals, I say we send them a message that this is not going to happen,' Sharpton says in the ad."

The Corsair blames PETA for this... uncomfortable episode. Lock him back up in the basement apartment! Break him off some Champale! Why does he do this on Black History Month?! Argh!

In: Inside Deep Throat LA Premiere. Hott. Good reviews all around. Buzztastic. Even Liz Smith, the queen bee of the "Ladies who Lunch" set likes it. Although she may never touch the cucumber sandwiches again. We couldn't be more proud of the guys at WOW -- Randy Barbato, Fenton Bailey, take a bow. And, after the premiere in Tinseltown, there was some confusing pundit love on the menu. See if you can make this one out. According to WorldofWonder:

"(After the premiere), seemingly everyone uncharacteristically stayed put for a lively panel discussion on porn moderated by Peter Bart and argued by Arianna Huffington, Richard Schickel, Dennis Prager, and Lawrence O'Donnell. We won't go into it, but conservative Christian radio personality Prager was not loved by the audience, while political pundit Huffington and West Wing writer O'Donnell were mentally embraced.

"At the reception that followed in the cavernous hangar of a place that partially encloses the ArcLight's postmodern courtyard, we're sure we saw Huffington and O'Donnell physically embraced as well."


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