Monday, June 20, 2005

A Little of the Old In and Out


(image via teachpol)

In: The Media Blog World War. Do we who were snubbed for the hottest bachelor blogger, sense detente? Is there a thawing in inter-blogosphere relations? Oh, we did so try to cause a ruckus; a brawl; mayhem, quite possibly; a melee at the very least. It is in keeping with our feisty Geminian nature.

If the pie-ing of our favorite blog-mogul suggested shades of the assassination of Archduke Franz Ferdinand, then, we argue, ipso facto, begun the blog have. Quod erat demonstrandum, ya dig?

Radar's Russian Dressing story (hold the "tossed salad") escalated the drama. Gorgeous journo Phoebe Eaton's response fanned the flames -- be still our snarky heart -- that we, in our suave mischievousness, tried to make happen. Things didn't pan out.

Did a glowing review of the anti-war Doonsbury halt the air strikes? Have cooler heads prevailed? All we are saying, is: Give peace a chance (Or, to the same tune, conversely, and with subtle malice, All we are saying, is: Kick Radar's Ass).


(image via ISurvivedBonnie)

Out: Bonnie Fuller. Our favorite hellcat-of-a-boss-y, Bonnie Fuller -- she who leaveth crumbs when she eateth (Averted Gaze) "buns" -- took her PR Reconstruction Tour (tm) to Howard Kurtz's Reliable Sources program on one fine Sunday morning.

At an ungodly hour, as we sipped at our Kenyan blend coffee, wanly, Bonnie did the delicate tightrope walk between discussing the "hunting pack techniques" of papparazi who, "pursue their prey," in pursuit of "newsy" photos for the tabs, and, on the other hand, not offending that same finicky tribe which supplies her with her daily bread. As some wiseman -- Kierkegaard? -- once said, "pimpin' ... aint easy," but Bonnie is adroit at negotiating that Olsen thin line.

After extolling the implausible virtues of the dubious Star Magazine on the show (Averted Gaze), Bonnie made sure to let drop (Exaggerated cough suggesting feigned detachment), as if in passing, that "most papparazi are professionals."

Of course, Bonnie; if you say so. We wouldn't want that lush resource to suddenly dry up, now, would we?


(image via videomax)

In: Tara Subkoff. Sure, we jocularly razz Tara Subkoff every once in a while. Okay, often. It keeps her on her toes; it puts the color in her cheeks. It's all good. We believe that we once intimated in the past that Subkoff "Watches Channel Zero." Okay, legitimately harsh; Zing; guilty!

Apparently, though, there is a reason for that lost, vacant look in her hollow, tombstone eyes [cue to "a special episode of The Corsair" piano music]. There is a reason Tara Subkoff looks so, well, haunted. It all sounds like an Afterschool Special , and whatnot. According to Fashionweekdaily:

" ... Subkoff remembered getting misplaced at a carnival when she was a child in New Jersey. 'They had to announce ?collect your child? on the loudspeaker. I was just sitting there for a few hours, lost. I think my babysitter was making out with her boyfriend in the bushes or they were driving around in his Camaro.'"

*The Corsair shudders*


(image via Thisislondon)

Out: Pete Doherty Kicked of Sardinian Yacht for Crack. Can this story possibly be fucking true? It's so over-the-top! The Corsair will report, then you can decide, as there appear to be, ehr, "flexible" standards of truth and reporting in the British press.

Did Pete Doherty nearly blow up a yacht with his "cracks" cocaine? This would have to be Chris (Crack) Rock's "extra-spicy" recipe. Even though the saintly Sir Elton John has offered his help to the embattled lead singer (as the flamboyant one did Robbie Williams and Donatella Versace), the former rent boy is not "ducky." According to the astonishingly downmarket Newsoftheworld:

"JUNKIE rocker Pete Doherty came close to blowing up a yacht packed with star guests, the News of the World can reveal.

"The 26-year-old Babyshambles misfit sneaked away from a party on deck to smoke crack cocaine.

"But he chose an area close to the ?20million yacht's FUEL TANK and used a lighter to heat the drug through tin foil.

"Among those partying above were his supermodel girlfriend Kate Moss, Jude Law's ex, actress Sadie Frost, former Hollyoaks favourite Davinia Taylor, her football agent hubby Dave Gardner?a close mate of David Beckham?and Kate's two-year-old daughter Lila."


"All were blissfully unaware Pete's crazy antics were putting their lives at risk.

"The British captain was alerted by a member of the ten-strong crew who Doherty had asked for foil. The skipper immediately told Davinia, whose toilet roll tycoon father owns the 55ft yacht, and said he wanted him off.

"Davinia, 27, raged at drug addict Doherty: 'You could have blown us up, you d***head! You are banned for life. You will never step on board again!'

"... Doherty didn't try to defend himself. He just meekly said "Sorry" and walked off the yacht as soon as it landed in Sardinia.

"Kate totally understood and said it was a fair decision."


(image via lookstudio)

In: Madonna Versus Rick Astley. You remember Rick Astley, don't you. Of course you do. Think early 1980s. Rick had that rich, ful-bodied, ehr, African-American voice. He was in touch with his inner Vandross. One just wanted to kick back after work and drink the malt beverage drink known as "Champale" to his soulful crooning.

The kicker was that, in fact, Rick Astley was indeed a red-haired white working class guy and not, as he sounded, of an oppressed but musical race. Anyway, Madonna hates his washed up ass, according to the 3AM Girls:

"A source tells 3am: '(Madonna's husband Guy Ritchie) and the production staff on the movie thought hiring Rick would be a cool thing to do for his cast and crew, who had worked so hard on the gangster flick. They'd been filming scenes on the Isle of Man and wanted to have a bit of a party when they had finished.

"'They were discussing how to make it a bit different and somehow came up with the idea of hiring Rick.'

" ... When word got out that they were going to ask Rick along, the staff thought it was a great idea.

"'Of course, he's cheesy but that was the point. It would have been a real laugh. Everyone was looking forward to dancing to Never Gonna Give You Up. Who wouldn't?

"'But no one can understand why Madonna didn't approve of him being the star attraction.'"

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