Thursday, June 09, 2005

That Jesse Helms Memoir


(image via

What an ignorant, bigoted ass is former Senator Jesse Helms. When last we saw this fuckface live, he was on C-Span bloviating nonsense about Cicero (Only, the stupid ass pronounced it "Ciss-row," not, as he ought to have, "KIK-ero," with hard Latin consonants). Helms, of course, never understood Marcus Tulli Ciceronis at all, he just borrowed quotes from some book about the world's best speeches and then spun the words around to his own sub-intellectual designs. Most people of his mindset are like that, borrowing glory from their intellectual superiors to mask psychological insecurities of their own (Think hundreds of beta males dressing alike, buzzcut alike, following orders and "having each others' back," dissolving their individual identities for the greater good of "the race").

The once-mulleted David Duke, a Helms fellow traveler, speaks incessantly of Mozart and Hegel as exemplars to "the white race" and asks -- rhetorically -- why have they no African-American counterparts. Imagine David Duke claiming credit for Mozart. But how often do you truly believe Dukey has ever cracked the pages of Phenomenology of the Spirit, or, say, listened to Die Zauberflote alone at night while wrestling in the quiet of his soul. Not fucking often, it seems to me.

Fear of posterity and his own impending eternity in "the hot place" have no doubt prompted the old sausage to reluctantly apologize for his anti-AIDS bigotry (But, interestingly enough, not his insidious homophobia, which ran amok in the 80s, bold and stupid). Apparently, uncle honkey is writing a memoir and is unapologetic about his anti-busing stance (Or of accusing USAID of funding the impoverished residents of Haiti, whom he called, "practitioners of voodoo"), according to The News Observer (link via Drudgie Poo):

"(Helms added): 'We will never know how integration might have been achieved in neighborhoods across our land, because the opportunity was snatched away by outside agitators who had their own agendas to advance. We certainly do know the price paid by the stirring of hatred, the encouragement of violence, the suspicion and distrust. We do know that too many lives were lost, businesses were destroyed, millions of dollars were diverted from books and teachers to support the cost of buses and gasoline. We do know that turning our public schools into social laboratories almost destroyed them.'"

Simultaneous Corsair Translator: "Agitators"="Civil Rights heroes," "the stirring of hatred"="Brown v. Board of Ed," and "turning our public schools into public laboratories"="letting the races go to school together."

Fuck you very much, Jesse Helms. Now just die alread, fossil.


Anonymous said...

yes indeed, just die already.

Anonymous said...

one word: Bravo.