Tuesday, June 07, 2005

A Little of the Old In and Out


Above: David Beckham's alleged mystery woman. (image via NewsoftheWorld)

In: David Beckham. Just last week he was out and about promoting his new sneakers, and now this. The man simply cannot keep it in his pants, even with a wife as hott as Posh Spice. Although France rejected the "European Union," David Beckham is somewhat expert at making them happen, often. And poor, naive Victoria "Posh" Beckham, who may just be the only sentient being on this big, blue marble that believes LeeAnn Devette when she says that Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes actually fuck.

According to the extremely downmarket (and thus exquisitely delicious) NewsoftheWorld:

"DAVID Beckham has been caught on film in a kiss with a stunning Rebecca Loos lookalike.

"The photographer who snatched these shock pictures said: 'They kissed for 15 to 20 seconds and it looked full frontal on the lips. His wife Victoria would not have been happy.'

"Our revelations come just weeks after we revealed how a string of affairs had pushed the Beckham marriage to breaking point.

"Becks, 30, and the latest brunette ... have met twice in a layby near the Real Madrid training ground in the last fortnight.

"A sports photographer waiting to snap stars after training in Las Rozas, 10 miles from the Spanish capital, said: 'The girl arrived in a Ford Fiesta and parked in the street."

You just know nothing good can come of a story beginning like that. Lone car on a country road outside of the Spanish capital ...

"'She was talking on her mobile. A minute later Beckham drove up in his silver Audi A8."

The Corsair tucks into a bowl of unsalted popcorn and is rapt to the screen.

"'I was amazed when he flashed his headlights two or three times, then pulled up behind her. Her face lit up and David seemed pleased too.'

"The brunette, dressed in a denim jacket and a white, tiered mini-skirt, got out of her car, looked around and walked towards the grinning Beckham. Then she started chatting to the star through his open window."

Something along the St. Elmo's Fireish line of, "Hey ... y'wanna date?" (a line delivered, lustily, by the hooker with the heart of gold, Anna Marie Horsford)

"'They seemed to talk naturally and it all looked quite intimate,' said the photographer who was about 20 yards away.

"'Then the girl leaned right in through the window and they kissed. It didn't look like just a peck. It went on for a long time. In all they spent about five minutes together."

"'Eventually they were interrupted when a fan spotted Becks and shouted his name out aloud."
At that the brunette went back to her car and David sped off.'"

Is a kiss like that "normal in Spain?" (Averted Gaze) as the Beckham PR team is spinning this whole fiasco. We don't think so, but decide for yourself. The full story here.


(image via NYSocialDiary)

Out: Ashley Olsen and Scott Sartino. After nearly a year of full-on public after hours canoodling, the fire has gone out of "Ashtino." (Averted Gaze) According to Lloyd Grove's Lowdown:

"Looks like Ashley Olsen won't be partying at Butter any time in the near future.

"Lowdown hears that the 18-year-old blond Olsen twin has split with her 30-year-old boyfriend, Scott Sartiano, who co-owns the trendy downtown nightspot.

"...'People are already talking about how Scott was sick of her pain in the a- ways,' reports a Lowdown spy. 'He's surrounded by girls who are hotter, taller, cooler, etc., and he wants to trade up.'"

But not richer, Scotty Boy. One could endure the slings and arrows of her "pain in the ass ways" for, say, a half of $137 million payout. Fuck, The Corsair would endure Ashley's "pain in the ass ways" for a fraction of the hundreth of that amount and a case of single malt Scotch. The Corsair is easy like Sunday morning. Ashley ... call me?


(image via Filmstew)

In: Brian Grazer and Gigi Levangie Grazer. Sure, Diane and Mike epitomize urbane hard power. And, yes, yes, Les and Julie are a close second, representing a pragmatic yet sophisticated "corporate-talent synergy." But what about the Left Coast's Gigi and Brian Collabo (TM), which has been in the news quite a bit of late.

We know that when they first met, they arm wrestled. He cheated, twisting his wrist for additional leverage, thus clutching victory from the arms defeat. Brian Grazer is, as Patrick Goldman of the Los Angeles Times writes today (link via Defamer), "ever alert to the power dynamics of any situation." Also:

"It's easy to make light of Grazer's antics, he's always checking his hair and his teeth in the mirror, but there's a method to his madness. His jittery nerve endings are also his creative antennae, his shrewd sixth sense about what's percolating in the pop zeitgeist. 'Brian is a seeker,' says Viacom Co-President Tom Freston, an old pal who often takes Grazer on trips to Dakar, Senegal, and other exotic locales. 'He has this ADD persona, but that's just the way his mind works, bouncing from place to place. He has an incredible ability to sniff out something that's out on the edge just before it reaches the mainstream, like he did with Eminem and '8 Mile.'

"Because Grazer is so close to Freston and Paramount Chairman Brad Grey, rumors abound that he might jump ship from Universal, where he's under contract until the end of 2008. He insists he isn't going anywhere. 'They're a winning team and have been a really great partner,' he says. 'We've had so much success together that I can't imagine leaving.'"

Gigi Levangie Grazer's new novel (which will, no doubt, lead to a future film development deal), Maneater, is currently on bookshelves.


(image via The Guardian)

Out: Howard Dean. Frankly, The Corsair likes Howard Dean as a person. He is an honest man, was a fine Governor of Vermont, where The Corsair lived on granola and "kind bud" for 3 years (AKA, The Corsair Lost Years, TM). But Dean has been making an awful lot of mistakes in his first couple hundred days as DNC Chair, raising the question that maybe he, like John Bolton, lacks the diplomacy and savoir faire necessary to do the job effectively. Quoth TheHill:

"Three top fundraisers at the Democratic National Committee have resigned at a time when its chairman, former Vermont Gov. Howard Dean, has come under fire from fellow Democrats for controversial comments and his Republican counterpart has raised more than twice as much money.

"Democratic sources link the resignations to Dean's decision to focus on raising money in small increments through the Internet, as he did during his 2004 presidential bid, and building up the party's grassroots infrastructure while paying little attention to major Democratic donors."

Granted, his mandate was to shake things up, energize the youth vote, build grassroots, but how much time will the Democrats give him to enact his plans with this storm of negative publicity? Full story here.


(image via Village Voice, photo by Mark Dolan)

In: Spanking Jessica Cutler. The Corsair is a fan of "lusty lady" Rachel Kramer Bussel's smart and sexy Village Voice column. In today's Voice Rachel turns in a thoughtful piece about Sex and Washington through the lense of the Jessica Cutler-Washingtonienne scandal (Is it even a scandal?). One of the more interesting lines of thought -- and Rachel is an interesting thinker -- regarding Robert Steinbuch's lawsuit against Cutler offers up an unofficial requiem to scott -free polymorphous perversity in The Imperial City:

"I dropped out of law school, so I can't speak to the legal merits of the case, but I laughed at his invasion-of-privacy claim. I'd read The Washingtonienne (Hyperion, 2005), Cutler's barely fictionalized novel chronicling her D.C. exploits, namely partying, fucking congressional workers on their desks, and taking oodles of cash from suitors to pay her rent, but I didn't know Steinbuch's name until his lawsuit, splashed on the Smoking Gun, revealed it.

"Spanking and hair pulling are the main kinky activities Steinbuch is angry at Cutler for publicizing. He alleges that these revelations go beyond what the so-called reasonable person could bear having known about him. But if they were so shocking, why was he doing them in the first place? We seem to want sexual privacy when it's convenient, but we also want the freedom to be publicly wanton, from blogs to reality shows to tabloid tell-alls. In a post-Monica Lewinsky world, I'd think anyone in Washington engaging in extra-curricular sex play would have considered the possibility that his kinky thrills might someday be revealed and act accordingly."

The rest of Rachel's article here.

Out: DisneyWorld. Disney is "out," (The Corsair snaps his fflaboyantlyoyantly) -- waay out. And, just this once, in this case, that's a good thing. For your video pleasure, Radar's Walt Disney World Story on the employees' subversive banquets now has some visual accompaniment. If you were a fan of Disney as a child, watch it at your own risk. Says Radar's Tyler Gray:

"Managers and supervisors who show up at such banquets tend to look the other way, I was told, even though some skits boldly mock the squeaky-clean atmosphere of the magic kingdom. The skits boost morale. From more than an hour's worth of material collected on the DVD, Radar has chosen a few of the juiciest bits, brief segments revealing a side of Disney's costumed underclass that few parkgoers ever see.

" ... What gets the mojo working for John Smith, the legendary pioneer lover in Pocahontas? In this excerpt we see Smith's eye wander to a well-built young brave in a loincloth, an inside joke about the high ratio of homosexual actors employed by Disney's character department. One reliable source claims that one in four characters actors is gay."

(The Corsair snaps) You go, Captian John Smith.

1 comment:

(S)wine said...

Oh, but there's just too much here. You hit us like a brick wall. Regarding the Becks story: She arrived in a...Ford Fiesta? My God man, at least drop some sterling and get this chippie a decent automobile. Fiesta. Ha!