Monday, June 06, 2005

Cheers, Christina Applegate


Above: "Everyone was shocked (Angela Bassett looked especially astonished!) when Christina Applegate appeared to fall off a lamppost on her way to present the Best Choreography Tony. Relax, kids, it was a stunt double." (image and text via

Goddamn it, we'd be so much better for Christina Applegate than that big dummy Jonathan Schaech. Grr. What does he have on us, anyway? (The Corsair rolls up his crisp, off-the-rack, Saville Row shirt sleeves)

Take away the budding indie film career (The Corsair tosses back an Isolabella Sambuca neat) ... and the millions of dollars ( The Corsair sparks up a Macanudo Maduro) and the "edgy," dark trailer park persona and, well, Schaech's nothing but another extraordinarily good looking Hollywood guy. (The Corsair sighs)

We bet he doesn't even have his own blog. The Philistine!

Anyhoo: We have been unduly harsh on the little white haired girl from "Married ... With Children." But not as harsh as The Chicago Tribune, which writes today, "The Tony telecast's staggeringly dull opening montage, anchored by the inevitable Bernadette Peters, overlayed Peters' well-honed pipes on Christina Applegate's tiny voice, yet another humiliation for the pugnacious star of 'Sweet Charity,' who was rendered weirdly mute."

"Applegate did get to sing (sort of) later, and, in the funniest bit of the night, twirled around a lamppost and fell off the stage."

The fall, of course, was a choreographed pratfall, spoofing all the negative stories surrounding "Sweet Charity." She's got guts, this gal, who once had "Milkshake" as her cellphone ringtone; she's got guts, this gal, who once saw Ben Affleck's "stuff" splayed on a briefcase (Averted Gaze) during shooting for "Surviving Christmas;" she's got guts, this gal, who got stiffed on her "Married ... with Children" residuals.

We like the spunk. Christina's can hang. But we still believe we'd be better for her than that Schaech guy.

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