Tuesday, June 28, 2005

Bo Derek: Policy Wonk


(image via skynet)

You laugh at the idea that Bo Derek, a woman primarily known for being at one point in time a "Perfect 10," with cold, wet t-shirt action going on, might know the nuanced intricacies of defense policy and weapons systems, but it is true. The Corsair knows.

We've seen her poring over Jane's Defense News briefs on her PDA. And, quite frankly, she's positively rhapsodic on the subject of CH-146 Griffon helicopters. Don't get her started on that topic. No shit. According to our favorite social chronicler:

"One of the most humorous sideshows was a table full of Washington insiders including the former Speaker of the House Newt Gingrich and his wife Calista, Kennedy Center Life Trustee Kenneth Duberstein, Chief of Staff under President Ronald Reagan, and his wife Jackie who is a producer with Charlie Rose; Washington Post Roxanne Roberts; Barry and Tracey Mansaur from Chicago, and Mandy and Mary Ourisman.

"Mary, a recent presidential-appointed board member, just finished chairing a marathon 3-day Smithsonian event that began at the White House and ended with a black tie dinner at the new National Museum of the American Indian.'Off the record' comments dominated the conversation, but one 'on the record' remark that can be shared was 'I came because it's Sunday and I've already watched Desperate Housewives,' from a chuckling Newt. Do you think Laura Bush got the idea for her speech from him? After dinner, the guests filed into the Concert Hall.

"One could not help but observe the charming side of Defense Secretary Rumsfeld as he chatted with board member and actress Bo Derek. One can only imagine what they discussed."

A Corsair guestimation of the chatter:

Bo Derek: Mr. Secretary, with landmines largely off the table, cluster munitions are widely considered to be the most threatening of the remaining ERW categories.

Secretary Rumsfeld: Yes, the Mine Ban Treaty that arose from the Ottawa Process was quite effective.

Bo Derek: Now that we are a world empire in a War on Terror, has the Department of Defense supplanted the number one cabinet position previously held by State? By that I mean, we needed a top diplomat-foreign minister when America was an emerging power, and most certainly during the Cold War against the Soviet Union. But now that we bestride the globe as a colossus, doesn't the Department of Defense trump the olive branch wavers at Foggy Bottom?

Secretary Rumsfeld: (Serious) That's a very, very astute question. Ask Colin Powell.

(both chuckle darkly)

Bo Derek: Have you read Rothkopf's "Running The World"? I can't put it down. Last night I read until 5AM. He's definitely hiding his motives. It reads as an "objective history of the National Security Council," but -- really -- his biases in favor of Brent Scowcroft and the Internationalists over and against the neocons are there if you look. Then again, you aren't really a neocon, are you Mr. Secretary. You are a Rumsfeldian.

Secretary Rumsfeld: (Charmed, intrigued) Say, what are you affiliated with? Kissinger Associates? Rand Corporation?

Bo Derek: Playboy.

Secretary Rumsfeld: (Averted Gaze) Hello, I must be going. (Exits, promptly, stage Far Right)

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