Thursday, June 16, 2005

Hugh Hefner, The Aftermath


(image via gfx)

The gravy train that is the Playboy Mansion will go be open to the public after Hef passes on. Celebrities will have to find their own skanks thereafter. Brilliant forward thinking move by Hef, BTW, as Hef, then at one with the nether astral light, guarantees his own legacy.

Shh. What's that sound? Why, its committed atheist Bill Maher, the unofficial mascot of the Playboy Manse, praying -- WTF? -- to Sweet Jesus to grant Hef eternal life. What will Jim Carrey, Dennis Haysbert, and the NBA for that matter do in the event of no more Playboy Mansion pajama parties? Mourn dramatically, we imagine.

According to Femalefirst (yes, the irony does not escape us), Methuselan Hugh Hefner wants to make the Playboy mansion a sort of Graceland and open it to the public after death:

"Hugh Hefner is opening up the Playboy mansion to the paying public - after his death.

"The 79-year-old magazine magnate, who purchased the now world famous home in 1971 for $1 million, has agreed to turn his estate into a tourist attraction but only after he has passed away.

"Punters will be able to tour the full grounds of his English Tudor house, including his monkey cage, bedroom, games room and notorious 'grotto' where stars including Frank Sinatra and Justin Timberlake are rumoured to have romped with the sexy Playboy Playmates."

Even the very name "grotto" skeeves us out to an unnatural degree. It sounds like a cesspool of primordial ooze, all skeletal oranges and burnt umber. *The Corsair shudders* The word "Grotto" suggests ... "bacterial velocity."

Activities committed on the premises of a "grotto," no doubt will incur "viral issues," that will need medicinal unguent for remedy.


Gabs said...

cool....a public porn circus!

Anonymous said...

Damn..what a he ever going to die? wow..

Hey, read this hillarious post - �Larry King, A Serial Husband, A Monogamous Polygamist, and the joys of Multiple Fatherhood.�

He has been married seven times with 6 kids and got some stupid "National Father's award." hahaha.. you would laugh your ass off.