Thursday, June 23, 2005

A Little of the Old In and Out


Like sausage squeezed into narrow, cloth sacks. (image via mythong)

In: Ass Cleavage. WTF?! It's getting so that The Corsair cannot get through a day without seeing someone's thong or --worse -- some unadorned ass unbidden. It's visual assault, quite frankly. No matter where one turns to rest the eye, all is sweaty ass cleavage. Says the salmon colored weekly:

"'Ass cleavage is really in right now,' said Antonio Jeffery, a national denim specialist at Diesel Jeans in Union Square. Ass cleavage, like regular cleavage, used to be strictly for women. Even the least careful observers of fashion will recall that a few years back, the rises on women�s jeans plummeted with the stock market; at one point, pants got so low that Christine Aguilera was literally prancing in assless chaps. This summer, it�s the men who are artfully displaying the tops of their bottoms, as dudes, gay and straight, squeeze themselves into ever-lower-riding jeans from Paper, Prada and Levi�s. Even the Gap�s in on the action, selling its '1969 extra low boot fit (burnished sky)' denim.

"Man ass is suddenly everywhere, from the chichi shopathons of Soho to the hipster suburbia of Williamsburg. There�s so much semi-nudity in New York right now, you�d think you were living in Rio. Just last Friday night, on the Brooklyn-bound L train, an Asian dude posed, scruffy and tan: Between his too-short olive tee and his too-too-low gray Diesel jeans, the buttresses of his pelvic muscles flared architecturally. Try to ignore his pubes. And then, when he exited at the second stop into Williamsburg, his leather shoulder bag shifted just so, revealing the Metallica keychain dangling conspicuously out his back pocket, above which: a full inch of ass crack�at least."

Charmed, I'm sure. (Averted Gaze) The author's turgid, creepy prose on said scruffy Asian man suggests to me that this report was brought to you via: "eye rape."


(Elton as simulacrum of Fragonnard via concertpix)

Out: Diamond Cunt. From ass cleavage to Diamond cunt. Who says this aint a classy blog? (The Corsair expectorates blithely into the blogosphere) We got "kul-tcha." And, no, "diamond cunt" is not that which "Big Daddy Kane" -- ahem -- digitally manipulated (Exaggerated cough suggesting feigned detachment) in that lamentable erotic coffee table book. No; not that. According to Popbitch:

"Elton John's nickname for his closest celeb friends is 'Diamond Cunt,' to whom he always gives a 'cunt' necklace. e.g. Janet Street Porter and Ozzy Osbourne."

As opposed to, say, "cunt and 'lil cunt," those charming terms of endearment shared between Natalie Portman and Julia Roberts.


In: Centrists. The President is politically astute enough of an observer of the scene to know, after one and a quarter term, that in order to stave off the dead duck factor (tm) that most leaders of the Western world face squarely during their second term in office (especially as we approach midterm Congressional elections in '06), one needs the centrists. Desperately. Thusly, TheHill reports on the thawing of Oval Office relations with independent Rhode Island Senator Lincoln Chafee:

"Some of President Bush�s biggest donors are hosting an event next week for Sen. Lincoln Chafee (R-R.I.), a centrist Republican who has frequently opposed Bush�s top priorities.

"Signaling that the White House is solidly behind Chafee�s candidacy, Andrew Card, Bush�s chief of staff, also will be on hand at the Charlie Palmer steakhouse Monday evening to help raise $50,000.Chafee was appointed to the seat held by his father, John Chafee, until his death in 1999 and won election in his own right in 2000. Since then, Chafee has tried the patience of conservative Republicans for his independent streak."


(image via kingfisherpress)

Out: Michiko Kakutani Versus Norman Mailer. Cantankerous old fucker Norman Mailer is still ruffling feathers. When last we heard of Mailer, he had just punched New Republic owner/cryptoracist Marty Peretz in the stomach. The Corsair wishes he could have done the same. Peretz duly replied that he barely felt a thing. He would not say the same about The Corsair, we wager. Now, according to RadarOnline:

"Dreaded New York Times book critic Michiko Kakutani�for whom 'the death of the author' is less a new-critical trope than a career goal�is said to be livid over Norman Mailer�s quasi-racist remarks about her in the new Rolling Stone. Buried in Douglas Brinkley�s epic profile of the ailing literary lion in the mag�s summer double issue is a scathing, if somewhat incoherent attack on Kakutani, wherein Mailer suggests she would have been given the axe long ago were it not for the Gray Lady�s affirmative action policies.

�'Kakutani is a one-woman kamikaze,' Mailer gripes. 'She disdains white male authors, and I�m her number-one favorite target. One of her cheap tricks is to bring out your review two weeks in advance of publication. She trashes it just to hurt sales and embarrass the author. But the Times editors can�t fire her. They�re terrified of her. With discrimination rules and such, well, she�s a threefer�. Asiatic, feminist, and, ah, what�s the third? Well� let�s just call her a twofer."

Deep into his "senior moment," yielding to the cognitive vertigo of Alzheimer's, Mailer continues, absently:

"They get two for one. She is a token. And deep down, she probably knows it.'

"We�re told Kakutani, once dubbed 'Bitchiko' by Bret Easton Ellis, is so furious about the slurs she�s thinking about filing complaints with the Academy of Arts and Letters and other stuffy literary groups to which Mailer belongs."

While we are sure that Mailer's arthritic knees are a quiver at the prospect at a censure vote at PEN America's next vapid little "Poets and Democracy" meet-and-greet (Averted Gaze), we ... cannot quite muster up the necessary interest to even care. Basta!


Miss Universe. Soon to be serving drinks at your local tavern. (image via dancingwithshadows)

In: The Style and Sound party. Wish we were there; it sounds fire. The wonderful fashionweekdaily reports:

"Miss Universe Natalie Glebova isn�t a cocktail waitress, but at last night�s Style and Sound party for Marc Ecko, the crowd didn�t seem to care. Partygoers like Cam�ron distracted the 23-year-old Canadian with shouts for drinks, while her chaperone looked on in horror. Maybe it�s because Natalie wore a tiara and sash to the party�and so did the servers carting Evian and champagne."

Mr. Cam'ron, of course, jumped the gun. So jejeune of Cam. One doesn't give Miss Universe one's drink orders until after the term of their "reign" (Exaggerated cough suggesting feigned detachment) has actually expired. Also:

" ... Stylist Jono also had charity on the brain, but of a slightly different sort. 'Meredith Melling-Burke saved my life,' he admitted to The Daily. 'It�s true! When I lived in Paris, I was styling for Girbaud, and I was this little hoo-ha nothing nobody, and it meant a lot to have someone from Vogue come to our show. Meredith would even show up backstage sometimes; I really owe her my career!'"

Okay, we give: Who the fuck is "Jono"?


Gabs said...

no no nooo...that pic! you must have a WAIST to wear a thong, rolls are NOT eyes! great post.

The Corsair said...

I see at least one thong a day. It's out of hand. Thanks for the response, guys.

(S)wine said...

Ah now. You still gotta love "old school" Mailer for the shite he spews. He's from the Hemingway days, when you punched people who annoyed you, and called broads..."broads"

The Corsair said...

yes, yes, we love mailer usually, a man who could appreciate Bukowsky, but the twofer thing was a bit batty.

Anonymous said...

Natalie Glebova is my favorite !

View her profile on

Natalie Glebova - Profile on