Friday, November 28, 2003

Madonna Loses Her Accent!

It's official: Madonna has lost her faux British accent. Wednesday night, as The Corsair sat among family preparing for a big turkey feast, he got a pleasant surprise. On Jay Leno's late night show, Madonna dicussed her career not like a 50s movies star, but in a sort of Los Angeles Valley girl hipster accent. What's up with that?

"This is a job," Madonna told Jay she advised Britney Spears , "this is not your life."

But the Material girl, with her red Kabbala string firmly affixed to her well toned wrist, seemed to slip in and out of her accent. Whenever The Material One was asked, for example, to deliver pronouncements on the state of celebrity or the like ... slowly ... very slowly ... the accent veered back into Oxbridge via the Paramount lot, circa The Rat Pack days. Hmm.

The Corsair can understand. Madonna, as a "pop artist" and, more specifically, a singer is a sort of amorphous self (The Corsair has dated enough "actresses" to know the drama involved in the craft).

Maddy began as a NY downtown hipster by way of the University of Michigan (dance) and spoke accordingly in that familiar urban cool patois; then she was Mrs. Penn and hid from the paparazzi, demurely, as her id-driven Marlon Brando wannabe husband issued unpredictable beat downs accompanied by thuglike Quest For Fire grunts; then she was reinvented in the Latina phase (The Lost Years), where La Madonna provocatively hung around attractive gay dancers, played Truth or Dare, and engaged in epater le bourgoisie against our outmoded Victorian sexual mores (excuse us!);

Now, stroll with me through the gallery of Madonna's hip hop mogul Maverick record era( "Music makes the bourgoisie and the rebel ...") , replete with the overflowing Cristal, Guy Oseary and Ingrid Cesares
rubbing up against her on the aquarium dancefloor as sharks and tropical fish frolic underneath unawares, baskeball players undressing, Jose Canseco leaving her house at 6am, ah those "bling bling" days in Miami --the blessed excess... back, when the Clinton economy was huuge.

Things have gotten more domestic. Now, Madonna does dinner with Prince Charles, has a mansion and her British babies with overrated underground director Guy Ritchie.

Is this where the great adventuress Madonna ends her days: shipwrecked on the somewhat ordinary shores of la Isla Bonita? In Britain, with babies, a moderately successful Britisher husband, eating boiled food and practicing the Kabbala in a draughty old mansion?

The Corsair cannot help but wonder if Madge is fed up with Britain. I mean, if she is no longer speaking in the accent, how much longer can the nation itself fare in her restless artistic consciousness?

So what will be the next Madonna Period? Will it be a melancholic Blue Period, like Picasso? Will she have a polo playing period, like the hapless pump-wielding Sylvester Stallone? She never really did have a hip hop period -- I mean, she did "date" Tupac Shakur and all, but she was never really immersed. How about a younger guy, Madge, like Demi's Ashton or Cameron Diaz's Justin?

Who knows with the unpredictable Ms. Ciccone. Who knows, indeed.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

One. She does not have a british accent and she never did. You yanks really need to get out more, if you think thats a British accent, you really, really need to get out more.

Two. She does not dine with Prince Charles. She did it once. Once, only as part of a party. Thats it.

Three. She does not have a draughty mansion.

Four. No-one give a fuck what you damn yanks think.