Michael Jackson's Dad: Spare The Whip Spoil The Child

Celebrity means never having to say you're sorry. Or even, it appears, censoring your rambling and incriminating thoughts. Intrepid Daily News staff writer Corky Siemaszko
reports that Michael Jackson's bizarre father, Joe Jackson(no relation to the mild and affable adult contemporary singer with the same name) admits to whipping Michael Jackson. Yes, you got that right: whipping. First Johnny Cash gets his sister in law pregnant and now this!

In a BBC interview airing tommorrow, Joe says, "I whipped him with a switch and a belt ... I never beat him. You beat someone with a stick."

Okay, Kuta Kinte!

Also showing up for the BBC chat was Majestik Magnificent, Michael Jackson's "personal magician." No, I'm not kidding here, everything I have written can be verified with a Lexis Nexis search. Although Bonnie Fuller might have one of her slave/employees hogging it.

Majestik told interviewer Paul Theroux that Michael Jackson is "not gay."

When confronted with the fact that the painfully shy Jackson vomits from nerves, his humane father answered, "He regurgitates all the way to the bank."

This interview will explain so very much about the strange man in the mirror who wears one glove and raves about Macauley Culkin's lips, The Corsair believes.