Friday, December 19, 2003

Ubiquitous Entourages

The New York Times reporter Susan Saulny today informs us that the Tiger Man who lived with his predator, Ming, now has an entourage. Yesterday, P Diddy's entourage -- including the one jerk who elbowed Joyce Wadler, the Boldface Columnist in the ribs -- made a "moat" around their master as he made a "personal cell phone call." Today, in Page Six, Charlize Theron's entourage got into trouble. The Sixers write:

"Theron was caught in the middle of an ugly brawl between Brazilian paparazzo Laura Giannoni and a mystery man in Theron's entourage at the Viscaya lounge after the 'Monster' screening nearby. "

And, to top things off, Theron's former Italian Job co-star, Marky Mark, is Executive producing an HBO flic called -- guess what? Entourage. This is brave of Wahlberg, as it said that his own contretemps with a member of his entourage involved Wahlberg, who compared his Planet of the Apes costar Helena Bonham Carter -- in monkey makep -- to Janet Jackson -- offering the black bodyguard a role in the film.

Anyhoo: Entourages are the new black. There a must get, they show that people want to be around you, fodder over you, protect you. You don't have to say it's all about me when you have an entourage around you -- it is simply taken for granted. An entourage implies money -- how else would one be able to keep beefy bodyguards in the Cristal and swordfish, clothe, bejewel and perfume a handful of models, pay the cellphone bills of a gaggle of publicists and "guys from around the way"?

The ultimate in entourage chic, again demonstrated by Theron, is the fact that one's entourage grows, evolves, as the night progresses, into an unwieldy mass. You meet people right? People change, as "social philosopher" Ritchie Rich once said, so why can't one's entourage reflect the social evolution that a hipster makes during the course of one evening? Theron, that hipster, probably doesn't even know who was in the entourage that evening, the Page Sixers continue:

"Giannoni filed a police report at the 13th Precinct. 'They took pictures of my face, but I can't press charges against the guy because I don't know who he is . . . I am distressed, depressed and tired.'"

Forget the me generation, my little pomegranates, where's the cachet in that? It's the entourage generation, baby, who loves you? (Points to entourage) they do.

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