Monday, July 31, 2006

The Paris Hilton Fragrance

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Whoopsie! (image via chadmuska)

Is the Paris Hilton scent marketable? Does it smell like teen spirits? From Cindy Adams:

"Paris Hilton: 'I wanted my own fragrance. I rubbed different oils all over my body until I found the right combination. Soon everybody can smell like me.'"

Because haven't we all, at one point or another, wanted to smell like a rancid little cocktail redolent of shady European shipping heirs and vodka-lemonades?
Pam Anderson's Pink Bikini Trailer Trash Nups

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The Wedding Party. (image via xposure via newsoftheworld)

Only the unsavory duo of Pam Anderson and Kid Rock could combine business and pleasure in so seemless a financial transaction. Ka-Ching! From The Trailer Trash wedding of the .. well, Week: Pam Anderson and the felonious Kid Rock. They are planning on getting hitched several times -- France, Tennessee, Michigan -- with, no doubt, sponsors and all sorts of enriching tie-ins. And part of her wedding costume will include a pink bikini (white bikinis and tattooed wedding rings, according to ettiquite, are for first marriages) According to the extremely downmarket Newsoftheworld:

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"PAMELA Anderson got ready to nip up the aisle yesterday in a revealing bridal outfit � this PINK BIKINI.

Just before she was due to tie the knot in the first of four weddings to singer Kid Rock she popped up on deck on a yacht in St Tropez wearing a tacky two-piece complete with gold horseshoe for good luck.

At one point Pammie, 39, tried to get on a jetski wearing gold heels and capsized it.

An onlooker said: "Pam and Kid Rock invited a dozen or so guests on board and after telling the world about her intentions to wed we expected to see a big ceremony on her yacht.

"She kept everyone guessing by going below deck but one thing's for sure Pam doesn't do things the conventional way. So it's no surprise she had such a bizarre day."

The ex-Baywatch babe has also planned ceremonies in California, Michigan and Tennessee.

Saturday, July 29, 2006

Mel Gibson on "Sugartits"

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(image via bear-blog)

There have been rumors circulating for a while that Mel Gibson may have an, ehr, Jacksonian (read: unsympathetic to Israel) view of foreign policy. There were the unsubstantiated rumors that he supported Pat Buchanan's nativist Presidential campaign a while back. Now, According to TMZ:

"TMZ has learned that Mel Gibson went on a rampage when he was arrested Friday on suspicion of drunk driving, hurling religious epithets.

"... TMZ has four pages of the original report prepared by the arresting officer in the case, L.A. County Sheriff's Deputy James Mee. According to the report, Gibson became agitated after he was stopped on Pacific Coast Highway and told he was to be detained for drunk driving Friday morning in Malibu. The actor began swearing uncontrollably. Gibson repeatedly said, "My life is f****d."

"... TMZ has learned that Deputy Mee audiotaped the entire exchange between himself and Gibson, from the time of the traffic stop to the time Gibson was put in the patrol car, and that the tape fully corroborates the written report.

"Once inside the car, a source directly connected with the case says Gibson began banging himself against the seat. The report says Gibson told the deputy, 'You mother f****r. I'm going to f*** you.' The report also says 'Gibson almost continually [sic] threatened me saying he 'owns Malibu' and will spend all of his money to 'get even' with me.'

The report says Gibson then launched into a barrage of anti-Semitic statements: 'F*****g Jews... The Jews are responsible for all the wars in the world.' Gibson then asked the deputy, 'Are you a Jew?'

"...A law enforcement source says Gibson then noticed another female sergeant and yelled, 'What do you think you're looking at, sugar tits?'"

What we want to know is: What the fuck was Gibson slurping that caused such an outbreak? Absinthe?

Our best guess: Haterade.
Picture Pages, Picture Pages ...

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-- Because Lindsay Lohan is not unfamiliar with scoring blow. (image via justjared)

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Calvin Klein's wan smile briskly evaporated upon learning that no, there would not be any sweaty basketball players at the celebrity event. (image via wireimage)



Sharon Osborne employs Pimp lingo to coax her top performing 'ho into performing "one .. last ... Ozzfest, baby. Then it'll just be you and me." (image via wireimage)

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Please don't rip on Kelly Ripa and her swag. She's -- sotto vocce -- Summer-Homeless. (image via wireimage)

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Life just hasn't been peaches and cream for Fisher Stevens since he was surgically detatched from Michelle Pfeiffer's career. (image via nysocialdiary)
Realpolitik World, Season 2

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"This is the true story of seven strangers, picked to live in a house and have their lives taped, and find out what happens when people stop being polite and start getting REAL. The RealPolitik World (TM)!"


In Realpolitik World, season 1, Kissinger stole the only single room in the house ( "De early bird catches the worm."), Francis Fukuyama forgot his ID and could not go out clubbing with the Realists, and Midge Dector struggles with her unnatural feelings towards Donald Rumsfeld. Now, The Corsair presents, without further ado: Season 2, Realpolitik World, Persia:

New Roomies

Francis Fukuyama (In the Confessional): So, I'm older, wiser from last season. We're getting some new roomies. Word is they're .. Jacksonians. That should totally fuck up the balance of power in the h-iZ-ouse.

Kissinger: A sustainable peace ...

Charles Krauthammer (scold): Jacksonians are real reptile brain types. Steak-and-potato, no-neck ruffians. The Archie Bunkers of the Global Theater ...

Midge Dector: What's a Jacksonian?

Krauthammer: Walter Russell Mead's term, it is the modern analogue to the foreign policy of Andrew Jackson. Extreme nationalist, isolationist, Mel Gibsonesque, skeptical of international institutions, canine, xenophobic and -- worst of all -- they are entirely unsympathetic to the existential threat of Israel ..

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(image via timeinc)

Enter, Pat Buchanan, carrying bags.

Buchanan: Shalom.

Krauthammer: -- Oh dear, Jesus.

Buchanan: No, just his humble servant, Patrick J. Buchanan.

Enter Alan Keyes, the other roomate.

Keyes (shellshocked): I'm living with Pat Fucking Buchanan?

First House Meeting

Walter Russell Meade: Okay, the first House meeting will come to order.

Pat Buchanan: I'd like to make a motion.

Krauthammer: Better idea, why don't you not and just say you did.

Buchanan: Funny. I move to order a "Coloreds Only" waterfountain in the house.

Alan Keyes: Oh now, really, that's despicable.

Day 5

Alan Keyes (in the confessional): Midge is in her room, composing a love letter to Rummy. Krauthammer and Fukuyama are having a breknuckled intellectual brawl, masking their sexual tension. I've just been praying loudly to Jesus to Deliver me from Pat Buchanan ...

Buchanan: I heard that!

Keyes: ... And Henry Kissinger is making love to his favorite person in the world -- himself.

Dear, Rummy

Midge Dector (In love-soaked voice) "... Dear Rummy: How are things, my Organization Man. Don't let those commies in the press get you down. I think you're the best Secretary of Defense EVER. Over here things are a bit tense. I got into a huge row with Pat Buchanan. He ended up storming out of the house but not without saying, acidly, 'There goes my B'Nai B'rith Man of the Year Award.' Can you imagine! And the Confederate flag on his door is not exactly winning Alan over.

"Alan just prays and prays all day. Loudly.

"But at least it masks the grunting noises coming from Fukuyama and Krauthammer. I think their intellectual rivalry has progressed into something a bit more .. unsavory. More on that later.

"Which reminds me, Mr. Secretary: When are you coming over for dinner? Love, Midge"

The Liebowitz Picture

Zbignew Brzenzski: Annie Liebowitz is taking a picture of us for a rare centerfold in The Wilson Quarterly, which is like the Vanity Fair of foreign service magazines, or didn't you already know that. Anyone who'se anyone is subscribed to the Wilson Quarterly. It has .. chic.

Richard Holbrooke: Of course, the jockeying for position begins almost immediately.

Midge Dector: I felt -- and I was sure everyone agreed with me -- that being the only woman in the group I ought to be front and center. Henry liberated me from that illusion, to put it mildly.

Fareed Zakaria: As you can imagine, Henry Kissinger had a different agenda ...

Midge Dector: It was some real Metternichian bullshit to pull.

Zakaria: Henry was just being Henry.

Richard Holbrooke: Kissinger positioned himself strategically behind Midge. I wish I had thought of it. Evil genius.

Fareed Zakaria: And just as Annie Liebowitz's flash went off Kissinger told Midge she had a run in her stocking showing. She bowed her head just so, to look. And -- voila! -- Kissinger became the center of gravity of the photo.



(image via globalvision)

Leaving

Dector: I'll miss the place. Did I learn anything? Sure, Jacksonians are creepy.

Kissinger: No, once again I did not learn anything, because there is nothing to learn, only survive and survive well. Will I miss the place? It was only a brief experience on the continuum of my vertical climb to Unlimited Power.

fin

New Cosair posts daily here.

Thursday, July 27, 2006

Picture Pages, Picture Pages ..

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At last night's "Talladega Nights" opening the Hollywood predator density was off the scales. (image via wireimage)

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In retrospect, Andy Richter's decision to leave Conan O'brien was not indeed the "pimp move." (image via wireimage)

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Eternally Bloated Brandon Davis and Scott "Wigger, Please" Storch. (image via wireimage)
Phoebe Eaton at Michael's

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Our heart beats just a little bit faster at the mention of Phoebe Eaton's name. So, imagine our surprise to hear that the astonishingly lovely Phoebe Eaton stopped by Michael's yeatserday. You can imagine. Oh, and we guess we should also mention that Walter Cronkite was also there, but frankly all we really care about is Phoebes. Via FishbowlNY:

".. 3. Henry Schleiff, who continues to ride out the summer and his twilight days at Court TV in high style, lunching with his own unknown guest.

"4. It's becoming a bit of a lame joke to comment on Ron Perelman's uber-casualness in this column, but in our defense -- he's beginning to drift into the realm of the absurd. He held down the corner table today with a besuited man and breezily beautiful woman while sporting jeans, an untucked turquoise polo shirt and a taxicab yellow baseball cap he wore for half his meal. We've heard of go-to-hell-pants, but a go-to-hell cap was new to us.

"5. Al Roker, looking svelte-ish, was stationed along the wall.

"... 7. While their third waited patiently at this table for a good half-hour, Tim Gunn and Grace Mirabella appeared arm-in-arm at the top the stairs a little before 1 PM. Gunn, who has become the star of Bravo's 'Project Runway' when he isn't running the fashion program at Parsons, helped the frail Ms. Mirabella to their table. They've been hanging out quit a bit lately, including taking in a screening of 'The Devil Wears Prada.' (Fashion types will recall that 'Prada's' inspiration, Anna Wintour, helped engineer Mirabella's downfall at Vogue."

We cannot fail to note here that bonding over The Devil Wears Prada among the fashionista's is a serious thing.

"8. Film producer Diane Sokol and Sony Pictures Television president Steve Moscow.

"9. Showtime PR honcho Stu Zakim sat here, although he dropped by the bar to say hello. The big thing on his plate at the moment: the season two premiere of 'Weeds,' the light-hearted and heart-warming tale about a bobo single-mother drug dealer. He brought screeners of the first few episodes for his lunch date, Glamour's PR chief Samantha Rosenthal.

"... 14. Time managing editor Rick Stengel (whose coronation is still the craziest day we've ever seen at this place) is apparently making the Michael's rounds these days. He was here with stalwart luncher (and Simon & Schuster's) Alice Mayhew."

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Phoebe Eaton must be tired because she's been running through The Corsair's mind all day. (image via nysocialdiary)

"... 19. Editor-at-large Phoebe Eaton strode in clad in a camouflage dress, kissed owner Michael Moriarty on both cheeks, and was escorted to her table in the back."

We are presently swooning. Too bad FishbowlNY doesn't have visuals.

"20. NBC News VP David Corvo.


"... 24. Walter Cronkite appeared just in time for the second seating, and made his way toward the back of the room shaking hands the entire route. Waiting for him was legendary ad man Martin Puris."

The full story here.
William F. Buckley, Jr: "There Will be No Legacy For (President) Bush"

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(image via chrisbuck)

Is this the beginning of a Republican Party crack-up? Those hale and hearty Cold Warriors are tossing roundhouse haymakers at each other. Just when you thought the frisson between the Burkeans and the Churchillians couldn't get more icy, William F. Buckley. Jr., the granddaddy of modern American Conservatism, spoke to the venerable CBSNews from his summer home in Stanford, Connecticut, essentially writing the President out of the Movement. To wit:

"There will be no legacy for Mr. Bush (because he is) incapable of bringing such forces as were able to bring the war to its conclusion."

Brusque, to be sure. The bitchslap was delivered with a frosty rhetorical precision. 15-Love, Burkeans.
Ana Marie Cox, Time.com's Washington Editor

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(image via usatoday)

Congratulations to former Wonkette editor and all around politial hottie Ana Marie Cox on her admittance into the galactic Luce Empire. We're fairly sure she'll use her newfound super media powers as a force for good. According to FishbowlDC:

"Ana Marie Cox has been named Washington Editor of TIME.com, it was announced today by Richard Stengel, managing editor of TIME. Her appointment is effective July 31, 2006.

"Cox joined TIME in March 2006, as a contributing writer. In her new role she will be coordinating TIME.com's political coverage as well as continuing to create features and essays for both the print and online editions."

Bloggers have infiltrated Luce! Let the mayhem ensue.

Wednesday, July 26, 2006

50 Must-See Movies



Popwatch, which -- oddly -- never gives The Corsair any props (Where's the love?), links to a list of the 50 definitive movies to see before you die. Granted, these lists are admittedly fluffy (Why only 50?). The list includes:

"... Chinatown ... 2001: A Space Odyssey ... Lost in Translation ... Black Narcissus ... 4 Erin Brockovich ... The Breakfast Club ... The Royal Tenen-baums ... Mulholland Drive ...Aguirre: The Wrath of God"

Spare us your lousy taste. Why such a list would include David Lynch's "Mullholland Drive" and ignore the acheievment that is "Wild at Heart," which alighted Cannes in '90, escapes us entirely. Forthwith, The Corsair's own entirely subjective list of the some Movies You Must See before you Expire (in no particular order):

Another Woman, Cinema Paradiso, The Karate Kid, Wild at Heart, Autumn Sonata, Blazing Saddles, The Warriors, Passolini's Medea, Bugsy Malone, Breaking Away, The Killer From Shantung, Hannah and Her Sisiers, Tarkovsky's Mirror, Bob Roberts, Cooley High, True Romance, The Paper Chase, Cries and Whispers, Meatballs, Time Regained, Scarface, The Five Deadly Venoms, Putney Swope, Fellini's Satyricon, Last Year in Marienbad, Midnight Express, Crimes and Misdemeanors, Car Wash, Kicking and Screaming, The River's Edge, Telling Lies in America, Memoirs of Underdevelopment, Betty Blue, Less Than Zero, The Omen, The Red Balloon, Fame, The Bad News Bears, Casino, The Last American Virgin, The Year of Living Dangerously, Renoir's A Day in the Country, Blue Collar, Liv Ullman's Kristen Lavransdatter, Hitchcock's North by Northwest, Nykvist's The Ox, Memories of Underdevelopment, Metropolitain, Do The Right Thing, Atanarjuat: The Fast Runner.
Is Peggy Siegal an Assface?



Peggy Siegal Had a Different sort of a "Lift" (image via NYSocialDiary)

So what is this thusness about a Page 1 Chapter 1 ratfuck that New York Times Style reporter Alex Kuczynski performs on "Pushy" Peggy Siegal, arguably the most famous publicist in the world. According to our favorite social chronicler David Patrick Columbia, perched serenely at his strategically perfect Table 8 at Michael's, in NySocialDiary:

"(NBC's Felicia Taylor and he) also discussed hair-do�s (briefly), plastic surgery and Alex Kuczinski�s upcoming book on the culture of plastic surgery in America. And just at that moment, Peggy Siegal, Hollywood�s uber-hostess in New York, came by. Peggy�s procedure entailed filling in the gaps on the face with material removed from another naturally fattier part of the body. I�m being coy on purpose. Ms. Kuczinski will fill you as trenchantly as possible. (I think it�s out in October, so you�ll just have to wait). The story of Peggy and Alex and the book is making the rounds right now because it was said that Peggy didn�t like seeing it in print (she�d told a lot of people, including this writer at the time � because it was successful)."

Vindication to all those denied access to a Siegal-controlled film screening and called her, in retaliation, an assface.
George Michael's "Father Figure" Won't Stop Wedding

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Any port in a storm. (image via newsoftheworld)

Frankly, we don't care that George Michaels likes to rustle up a bit of sweet ass from time to time (Or, to be more accurate, sour ass). But the whole sex-in-a-public-park-after-midnight kind of escapes us (just as the Beverly hills public restroom did), especially when you have Wham! money. Still, it looks like a little bit of cruising won't thwart George Michaels' nuptual plans. According to Thisislondon:

"George Michael yesterday denied that his long-term partner Kenny Goss called off their wedding because he was caught 'cruising'.

"... The 43-year-old also hit out at claims of a romp with a pot-bellied van driver on Hampstead Heath, North London.

"'I have got no issue with cruising, I've talked about it many times... they are making me look like the gay Wayne Rooney,' he said.

"'It's dark up there but it's not that dark. I've no idea who that guy was, but thank you very much whoever he was.'

"Michael has admitted in the past that he has an open relationship with Mr Goss, 48, his lover of ten years."

More here.

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Steve Case Is Sorry; We Think

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(image via timeinc)

Steve Case managed -- Herculean labor that it is -- to get in a word edgewise on Charlie Rose. And boy it was a doozy, says Paidcontent. It is not a good morning for Dick Parsons as Case apologized for evaporating $200 million in shareholder value.

"... Case disccused the AOL-TW merger on 'The Charlie Rose Show' Monday night. (Still looking for a linkable transcript.) He didn�t just blurt out a confession and it came with a lot of qualifiers, as though Case still can�t quite figure out why such a brilliant idea went AWRY; Rose pushed hard for him to acknowledge the failure in direct terms, asking bluntly, 'Are you sorry you did it?' Case: 'Yes, I�m sorry I did it. � I thought it was the best course for AOL to make sure it was ensured a bright broadband future, and as part of that agreed to step aside as CEO. To make sure the deal would happen. And AOL`s broadband future has not been, obviously, what any of us would have hoped.'"

More here.
Picture Pages, Picture Pages ...

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I think I speak for everyone when I say, No Rod Stewart, Crooner of Shitty Standards, We Don't Think You're Sexy. (image via aolpeople)


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Message to Gnarls Barkley: Bronques Wants His Look Back. No Lye. (image via wireimage)

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Class will tell! (image via thecobrasnake)


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A bilionaire with aheart murmur? Where?! (image via NYSocialDiary)
Tamara Mellon to Take Part in Kid Rock's Trailer Trash Wedding

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(image via jsonline)


Nothing suggests classy more than attending a wedding where the bridesmid actually fucked the groom, no? That's some Old School shit right there. Alleged socialite and former "tender" to the frequently felonious Kid Rock, Tamara "Hi Sailor" Mellon will indeed be taking a part in the biggest Tariler Trash wedding since Briney Spears decided to thaw out the chicken fingers and followed up promptly by a post-nuptual club crawl with the guests (Averted Gaze). According to the 3AMGirls, Hep-C poster girl Pammie is quite tolerant:

"THESE showbiz types are an incestuous lot - none more so than Pamela Anderson, who has asked fiance Kid Rock's ex Tamara Mellon to be her bridesmaid.

"Pammy, 39, ties the knot with Kid, 35, in St Tropez on Saturday and wanted her new bezzie mate, Jimmy Choo designer Tammy, to have a part in the proceedings.

"... Mellon - who has also stepped out with Robbie Williams - started dating Kid after meeting him at Elton and David's wedding in December. But she dumped him two months later after he became embroiled in a sex-tape scandal. Which makes him and Pammy perfect for each other...
John Bolton: Got Memoir?

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Got memoir? (image via browndailysqueal)

You know -- you just know -- that interim appointee UN Ambassador John Bolton is composing, on the fly, a memoir in his cro-magnon thick skull. His compositions will no doubt be as dissonant but not as brilliant as John Coltrane's late works. Cuffing our allies about the ears and gift-feeding the G-77 into the moist wings of The Chinese Dragon, Bolton traverses the Global theater in custom-made hobnail cowboy boots. (The Corsair expectorates angrily into the blogosphere) Bolton is, truly, a piece of fucking work; an unsavory slice of processed American cheese.

This memoir will be, to be sure, a hungry man's version of Daniel Patrick Moynihan's brilliant A Dangerous Place. The languiage may at times be a tad salty but the jist of it will be that John Bolton was "Our Guy." Intellectual lightweight Norm Coleman will be the first to deliver a congratulatory reach around. The New York Sun will promptly bestow enthusiastic editorial blow jobs. And swallow. The United Nations will, of course, be portrayed as a tangle of international burocracy, and Bolton, the straight-shooting grinder, shredding through the multilingual globalogna (Exaggerated cough suggesting feigned detachment). The UN is the Okay Corral, a veritable creature cantina of Big International Evil, and Bolton, with his smoking Dillinger, The Last Cowboy.

Charmed, I'm sure. (Look of withering contempt)

The enemy here is sophistication and internationalism. It is evil, you know, to know more than one language, to be well read, to know the layout of several world capitols. Bolton, improvising the chapter headings as he goes along, Magoo-like, is the ideal. Them damn sophisticates!

The Old Gray Lady's Warren Hoge schools us:

" ... (D)iplomats focus particularly on an area with less evidence of instructions from Washington and more of Mr. Bolton�s personal touch, the mission that he has described as his priority: overhauling the institution�s discredited management. Envoys say he has in fact endangered that effort by alienating traditional allies. They say he combatively asserts American leadership, contests procedures at the mannerly, rules-bound United Nations and then shrugs off the organization when it does not follow his lead.

"Six ambassadors separately offered similar accounts of an incident in June that they said captured the situation. All were from nations in Europe, the Pacific and Latin America that consider themselves close allies of the United States, and they asked to speak anonymously in commenting on a fellow envoy.

"Mr. Bolton that day burst into a packed committee hall, produced a cordless microphone and began to lecture envoys from developing nations about their weakening of a proposal to tighten management of the United Nations, his chief goal.

"Gaveled to silence, he threw up his hands and said, 'Well, so much for trying something different.'

"It was not merely rude, the ambassadors said. One recalled that moments later, his BlackBerry flashed a message from another envoy working on management change. 'He just busted us apart,' it read."

Ah, the Bolton personal touch. While it has been known to tickle the editorial G-spot of the New York Sun, it might, not inconceivably blow the top 10 floors of the UN Building.

Monday, July 24, 2006

Wesley Snipes Likes The Chocolate Sauce

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Always bet on black ..(image via dinedoremanagement)

Married action star Wesley Snipes, who was once punched the fuck out for stealing Mike Tyson's girl, likes to smear chocolate sauce on his lovers. According to the extremely downmarket newsoftheworld:

"'(Snipes) put his favourite R&B tracks on and we all got drinks from the mini bar. I loved taking the mick out of him. I said I didn't like his tracksuit and he said it was �20,000 of pure silk. I told him not to be flash."

Self-expression, we cannot fail to note, is not achieved via a Bubble Yum-colored tracksuit, unless the expression one wishes to achieve is "ghetto." More:

"As we were dancing together he pulled me towards him and kissed me. He was a gorgeous kisser.

"Then he started massaging my shoulders. He didn't care that all my mates and his bodyguards were in the room. As it got late everyone started to leave but Wesley asked me to stay. By now I thought he was sexy and funny, so I did.

"Then we started kissing more passionately. Before long he started taking my clothes off, but in a gentle and sexy way. He knew what he was doing.

"He got down to my jeans and discovered that I don't wear knickers. He said, �This is all good � I don't even have to take off your panties!'"

We're glad that the situation was self-explanatory. Saying "No Knickers," in a plummy Biritsh accent might have been misconstrued as a racial remark. I'm just saying ...

"It was then that Wesley led Fran into the bedroom of suite 712 of the Cardiff Hilton and they had sex for the first time. The 29-year-old single mum added: 'He may be quite old but managed to hold me up against the wall as we had sex.

"He was very strong and well blessed in the trouser department. The rest of his body was good too.

"He particularly loved my bum. I think it's big but he couldn't get enough of it.

"And I remember he had strawberries in the suite and a big jug of chocolate sauce. We eventually made love in the bed and then he brought the food in. I just ate mine but he got the sauce and poured it over me and then slowly licked it off."

On confronting a sturdy bottom the application of a condom as opposed to a condiment is strongly encouraged. Further, "Poundcakes" -- for lack of a better term -- are a stand alone pastry (Ike Turner be damned) and need not any chocolate sauce.

"Then he nibbled my neck and told me he was being a vampire. I didn't have a clue what he was on about, I know who he is but I haven't watched all his films. Then someone told me later he'd played a vampire in Blade."

More on Newsoftheworld.
George Michael's "Father Figure"



Wake him up before you go-go. (image via newsoftheworld)

George Michaels was out in full force -- Wham! -- the other day, pulling a Kevin Spacey with a "Father Figure". Only: The "Father Figure" in question wasn't so much Archaic Torso of Apollo as ... a bag of pickled pigs knuckles. (Exaggerated cough suggesting feigned detachment) Any port in a storm, we suppose.

What is it about the bucolic public parks in London that inspire the odd impromptu evening romance a la The Guermantes Way? According to the extremely downmarket NewsoftheWorld:

"MEGA-RICH pop superstar George Michael this week sank to new levels of depravity�trawling for illegal gay sex thrills in a London park."

"News of the World investigators caught the singer red-handed and red-faced as he emerged from the bushes after cavorting with a pot-bellied, 58-year-old, jobless van driver."



Sweet ass by any other name ... (image via newsoftheworld)

"When challenged George, 43, was wild-eyed and trembling. Trying to hide his face under a baseball cap, he screamed:

"'I don't believe it! F*** off! If you put those pictures in the paper I'll sue!'"

As we're only thousandaires, we'll take our chances. More here.
Picture Pages, Picture Pages ...



Lindsay lohan blows out the candles on CAKE, thus completing the trifecta, after having already successfully blown the aliterative combo of COKE and COCK, Despite a diminished lung capacity. (image via wireimage)

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The relative ease with which this chap sucks down two cold ones suggests more than a passing familiarity with the act. (image via thecobrasnake)



Some terrorists hijack jets. Hamptons terrorist Jason Binn hijacks jet-sets. (image via wireimage)



Jennifer Love Hewitt looks over at the sweaty crowd of stormtroopers at Comicon and wonders what happened to her career. (image via wireimage)

Saturday, July 22, 2006

Tina Fey to Leave SNL



sexy-smart (image via bartcop)

The groundbreaking first female head writer to SNL, Tina Fey is leaving the show. While her "Weekend Update" with Amy Poehler still hadn't clicked, he co-hosting with Jimmy Fallon was pitch-perfect. Before Fey took over head writing duties -- a job usually reserved for male, Harvard Lampoon alums -- the show was languishing. Fey leaves on top of her game. Says the AP:

"For the past six seasons, Fey has been head writer and co-anchor of the "Weekend Update" fake news segment.

"But appearing Friday night on 'The Tonight Show with Jay Leno,' Fey said she wants to focus on her new NBC prime-time series "30 Rock." It's not much of a stretch. She portrays the head writer of a fictional late-night sketch show in the new program.

"Fey developed the series, which also stars Alec Baldwin."


We wonder who could replace Tina Fey. Hmmm. Snappy writing, good on deadline ... Hmmmm.
Ron Perelman's Ex Rubs Up Against Benicio Del Toro



Rebecca DeMornay and Ellen Barkin get their smooth on. Del Toro, in background, sucks on cigar. (image via patrickmcmullen via fashionweekdaily)

If the Marmot's backroom could talk ... Benicio Del Toro, whose name, we gather, means "Benny the Bull" when translated (Exaggerated cough suggesting feigned detachment) has a little somethingsomething going on with Ellen Barkin, who most recently broke up with our favorite billionaire with marriage issues Ron Perelman (Averted Gaze). From Fashionweekdaily:

" ... Amy Sacco�s L.A. book party for Cocktails, hosted by Imperia Vodka at the Bar Marmont. The author, clad in a sultry Dolce & Gabbana cocktail dress, simply pointed to her ample cleavage and grinned when asked why she chose it for the party. Sacco held court in a corner of the bar for most of the night, where the jacket to her book was plastered across a wall. She spent the evening signing books for pals Amanda Demme, Brent Bolthouse, Nicky Hilton, Brandon Davis, Diane Kruger, Selma Blair, Trudie Styler, Bryan Lourd, Elvis Mitchell, David LaChapelle, and Ellen Barkin, who, clad in a mini dress, rubbed up against Benecio del Toro in the Marmont�s back room, where Kirsten Dunst also hung out."
Picture Pages, Picture Pages ...



Many people cause harm to themselves and others because they don't realize that crowd surfing and stagediving require caution and skill. (image via thecobrasnake)



Jamie Foxx and "Cock out" Colin Farrell excavate their collective vast resources of benign insincerity. (image via wireimage)



Michelle Rodriguez's industrial strength codpiece keeps the junk from getting in the way. (image via wireimage)

Thursday, July 20, 2006

Lunch at Michael's



(image via fishbowlny)

Yesterday at the venerable media watering spot, an interesting group of boldfacers assembled to see and be seen. And, to paraphrase Hannah Arendt in The Human Condition, Seeing and being seen constituted through the participation of witnesses who form judgments and comment on what they see � is what matters. Right? From FishbowlNY:

"... 3. Actress Victoria Tennant was stationed here with a trio of others, including, at one point, fellow actress Phoebe Cates.

"4. Ron Perelman, in rolled-up shirtsleeves, as usual, a look that's gaining more and more currency with us the deeper into summer we get. He too, was anchoring a four-person table today, which included Revlon director (and Perelman partner) Howard Gettis."

We expect the Funky-Capitalist-in-rolled-up-shirtsleeves trend to begin forthwith. Henry Kravis is so last week; Ron perelman is the cool billionaire. More:

"5. The prize for most intriguing table of the day goes to Susan Lyne and Jeffrey Katzenberg.

"... 7. The New York Daily News' table today, consisting of gossip Joanna Molloy, features managing editor Orla Healy, and attorney Ed Hayes, who's somehow managed to represent both Page Six's Richard Johnson and Jared Paul Stern, at least for a minute, during the latest flare-up in the the feud between the two papers.
8. The New York Observer's Peter Kaplan, with Howard Rubenstein.

"... 11. VH1's John Sykes occasionally poked his head out from the behind the wall here, but his companion was invisible to us. We heard the mystery date practically ran laps greeting everyone, however.

"... 14. Mort Zuckerman was also parked along Mogul Row today ...

"... 15. CNBC's best-and-brightest were stationed here: new-ish business news chief Jonathan Wald, and the channel's face, Maria Bartiromo."

Good haul today. More at FishbowlNY
Picture Pages, Picture Pages ..



Matthew McConoughey, beseeches Yaweh's forgiveness for The Wedding Planner, the cinematic equivalent of a dirty bomb. (image via justjared)



Jack "The Chief" Nicholson airs out his weathered Holly-woody ("Old Leather") as a jaded Lara Flynn Boyle wonders if the degredation is worth the continued attentions of the press. (image via popsugar via justjared)



Why the long face, Lionel Ritchie? (image via hellomagazine)



We have the capability to make the world�s first bionic woman. Ashlee Simpson will be that woman. Better than she was before. Better� stronger � faster. (image via wireimage)



No, you da man! (image via NYSocialDiary)

Wednesday, July 19, 2006

Luke Wilson: 86ed at the Playboy Mansion



(image via vnn)

Luke Wilson has been 86ed from the Playboy Mansion. Apparently Luke even sprayed hot tears like a bitch after hearing the verdict. He will, to be sure, save gazillions on antibiotics. (Exaggerated cough suggesting feigned detachment) He was on The Howard Stern Show this morning when the sordid details leaked like a bad silicon job. Says Marksfriggin:

"Howard heard that Luke had been banned from the Playboy mansion so he asked him about that. Luke said he went to a party and brought his friend Steve with him and tried to pass him off as Owen Wilson. They knew it wasn't him because some girl in line told them it wasn't Owen. That got him banned. Howard said that Hef is brilliant because he keeps those parties to a select few and doesn't turn them into sausage parties. They even turn women down after they send head shots over to them if they're not good looking enough.

"Luke said that he called the people at Playboy and tried to get back in and actually cried because he was so upset. He said he was put on the DNA (Do Not Admit) list because of that whole thing. He said they let him go to the party that night but the next party list he was taken off the list."

But Frankie Muniz is a regular?

Check out brand new blog posts -- January 31, 2013 here

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

Does History Vindicate Kissinger?

kissinger


Fortuna appears, sadly, to favor aging statesman and unindicted war criminal Henry Kissinger. The formal end of "cowboy diplomacy" -- which, arguably began in January with the photo-op with ther former Secretaries of State and Defense -- has largely become a media vindication of the disgusting excesses of Henry Kissinger. Why is this man allowed to roam the earth, stroll Park Avenue, garden in Litchfield, Connecticut unfettered by legirons? How one makes the gymnastic leap from The President's realization of the importance of multilateral relations to the blanket forgiveness of Kissinger's satanic foreign policy escapes The Corsair entirely. (Exaggerated cough suggesting feigned detachment)

Over and over in press stories of late -- especially in Time Magazine -- we are treated to gushing passages that describe Bush eschewing "idealism" and coming around to the position of "Kissinger." Kissinger, apparently, was right. Rubbish. Charmed, I'm sure. First of all, Kissinger is not the physical embodiment of the school of Political Realism, as those pumpkinheads at Time appear to believe. Hans Morgenthau, more than Kissinger, deserves to be considered thusly. Or even Kissinger's Dark Lord from remote history, Niccolo Machiavelli.

Second, let's briefly review what Kissinger is indeed capable of. Henry all but greenlighted the East Timor massacre ( �the use of US-made arms could create problems� ... �It depends on how we construe it; whether it is in self defense or is a foreign operation.�). His role in the 1973 Chilean coup is dubious at best. And there are legions more where that came from.

We know it is fashionable and even sexy in certain circles to worship Kissinger. The dark croaking voice, the liver-spotted face, the reptile eyes and the aura of unlimited power notwithstanding, don't be fooled: History should not vindicate Kissinger.
Happy Birthday Lindsay!

In honor of Lindsay Lohan's 20th birthday:





After blowing Harry Morton, candles are -- pun intended -- anti-climactic. (image via wireimage)




There was, to be sure, an awkward silence between the moment the crowd shouted "blow" and Lindsay realized they were only talking about the cake. (image via wireimage)