Saturday, July 15, 2006

Alert the Media: Justin Timberlake Took Drugs



Justin is so clearly the Femme in this situation. (image via themix)

Justin Timberlake's clumsy attempt to craft himself as more prettyboy, more grittyboy are as amusing as they are doomed to abject failure. Nothing about Timberlake, we cannot fail to note, suggests Edge. If Justin had had even an iota of manliness about him he might have stood up for Janet Jackson, his Superbowl dance partner, against the obnoxious nannying of the FCC. That was, incidentally, the Day That Justin Timberlake's Ghetto Priviledges Were Revoked (Exaggerated cough suggesting feigned detachment)

Now -- mirabil dictu -- with the onset of Justin's new album he assures us he is indeed Street. (Averted Gaze). From the 3AMGirls:

"JUSTIN Timberlake has shattered his wholesome image by admitting he takes drugs.

"In an extraordinary confession, the singer, who built a career on his charming boy-next-door image, admits that he has 'done way too many drugs.'"

Flintstone chewables? Someone organize an Intervention

"Justin, in Britain to promote his second album, is known for his professionalism and has hardly ever been caught drunk or falling out of nightclubs at 3am.

"But the 25-year-old has spoken candidly about taking drugs in private and reveals that he has always been careful to avoid being caught on camera.

"'The drugs that I do have been done in my own private time,' he admits. 'I've never been arrested... though that's not to say I won't.'"

Please, Justin, desist .. desist.


JT, who performed in the UK for the first time in three years on Thursday night, goes on: "I've done way too many drugs already. I've already inhaled and I've already - who knows...?"

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Great post Ron. Loves it.
yeah I used to JT bakc in the day, but that Superbowl kiss-ass followup was just whack, def not street.

And now he wants to appear hard? nah, I am not buying it. He is just a pussy. The same pussy that cried on Punk'd.

(And just who the hell is him manager?)

Ron, How about an open letter to JT to aploogize to Janet's fans for dissing her?

Carolyn said...

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

That's all.

Katerina said...

Oh gawd, Anonymous, Janet's fans?? That takes me back so long!
I didn't think there was such a thing as a Janet fan by now.