George Michael's "Father Figure"
Wake him up before you go-go. (image via newsoftheworld)
George Michaels was out in full force -- Wham! -- the other day, pulling a Kevin Spacey with a "Father Figure". Only: The "Father Figure" in question wasn't so much Archaic Torso of Apollo as ... a bag of pickled pigs knuckles. (Exaggerated cough suggesting feigned detachment) Any port in a storm, we suppose.
What is it about the bucolic public parks in London that inspire the odd impromptu evening romance a la The Guermantes Way? According to the extremely downmarket NewsoftheWorld:
"MEGA-RICH pop superstar George Michael this week sank to new levels of depravity�trawling for illegal gay sex thrills in a London park."
"News of the World investigators caught the singer red-handed and red-faced as he emerged from the bushes after cavorting with a pot-bellied, 58-year-old, jobless van driver."
Sweet ass by any other name ... (image via newsoftheworld)
"When challenged George, 43, was wild-eyed and trembling. Trying to hide his face under a baseball cap, he screamed:
"'I don't believe it! F*** off! If you put those pictures in the paper I'll sue!'"
As we're only thousandaires, we'll take our chances. More here.