When Warren Beatty is Ripe ...



Following the dictates of Pan. (image via gillismagic)

For years now we have been regaled with tales of Warren Beatty's sweet lovemaking techniques. He offers roles, stares at himself in the mirror post-coitus, he memorizes starlets phone numbers, he can take telephone calls while in the middle of the fucky -- that sort of thing. (Exaggerated cough suggesting feigned detachment) Beatty is considered the most celebrated lover of the latter half of the 20th Century. He may be the future Governor of California. Priapic, thy name is Beatty.

The teleology of Eros, though, is capricious. Sometimes it hankers after simple reproduction. Survival of the species, if you go in for that sort of thing. (Averted gaze) When that happens, it is best to have a willing ingenue at the ready on hand. According to Cindy Adams:

"First date Warren Beatty invited Annette Bening to have a baby. Or, at least, to go up to his place to practice making one. They hadn't dated. They'd made 'Bugsy' together. At the film's wrap, he asked if she wanted some dinner. She said yes. He asked if she wanted a baby. She said yes. And they worked on it that night. And have continued to so do through many children and many years."

Is there, like, some existential subclause in the laws of Nature that past and future Governors of California be of excessive amorosity?