Tuesday, March 13, 2007

Lord Ganesh Intervenes in Hurley-Nayar Nups

Jinxy Golddigger Liz "Beware of the Jackhammer and the Helmet that Glows" Hurley put the juju on her Hindu Wedding. We are not surprised. Her motives for marrying mogul Arun Nayar reek of unholiness. Hinduism, which teaches that materialism stems from superficiality, must be anathema to a thoroughly sleazy character such as Liz Hurley. According to Cindy Adams:

"NOW, the Liz Hurley-Arun Nayar second wedding ceremony. Following their legal official do-you-take-this-woman/do-you-take-this-man thing in her native England, they laid on a four-day extravaganza in his native India. This way no natives got restless.

"In India, four tiers of security surrounded Mr. & Mrs. because he's rich and she's famous. But the scene-stealer was little Damien, Liz's son, by whichever method she got him. The media was nuts because nobody could get a good look, let alone a shot. Guests had to delete their cellphone photos.

"Per Hindu custom, the bride and groom must circle a sacred fire seven times. It's called 'saat pheras,' which means 'seven rounds' and is the culmination of the couple's holy pairing and blessed-of-the-Gods coming togetherness for eternity (or at least six months, which in movie-star-years is considered an eternity). However, between Liz's billowing spectacular schmatta and Arun's gilt-laden silk, they got entangled in each other's finery and could only go around the fire four times.

"Result? This union does not have the union label because, technically, it means the ceremony wasn't completed, and thus the marriage is incomplete."

Lord Ganesh said "hell-to-the-No." The of late unheralded Hindu Gods were just not going to let that bullshit happen without an intervention.

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