Monday, January 09, 2006

The Primrose Set


Sadie Frost and Barry. (image via newsoftheworld)

Yes, the rich are different than you and me. They copulate on yachts, for one. They also frolic topless. They issue Biblical commandments when their boyfriends cheat with the Nanny. And, most colorfully, they turn a tasteful shade of "Puce" when their manwhore dates Salma Hayek.

Ex-dogwalker and "love rat" Barry Smith, a boytoy in full, breaks the first rule of the polymorphous perversity of the soi-dissant -- nose upturned -- Primrose Set (The Law-Frost-Moss-sexnexus). First rule of the Primrose Set is -- huffily: One doesn't speak of the Primrose Set. At least not to the commoners. According to the extremely downmarket Newsoftheworld:

"Barry Smith witnessed all the shameful bedhopping antics as lover to Sadie Frost, ex-wife of movie idol Jude Law and closest pal to Kate Moss.

"He exclusively confessed to the News of the World: 'I even cheated on Sadie in her own bed with her best friend, Hollyoaks star Davinia Taylor.

"...'There was an unwritten vow of silence among the Set. But I'm finally speaking up because I was pushed out."

Or, more accurately, "pushing in," namely -- another set of inviting, Brazillian bikini-waxed Euroloins. (Averted Gaze) We won't entertain the possibility that Newsoftheworld gave the dogwalking toyboy a modest "reseacrh grant" for the details of his anthropological experiments with the Upeer Classes:

"'When Sadie dumped her lover Jackson Scott, who I didn't like, Davinia and Dave (Gardner)encouraged me to ask her out,' said the 6ft Irishman.

"'Last August she invited me to her Ibiza villa with a group of family and friends. The only single people there were me and Sadie. We finally hit it off after a day by the pool. All the others drifted away and we started messing about in the pool on an airbed. We ended up making love right there in the water.

"'We did it again under a towel on the sunbed, looking up at the villa lights and wondering if we'd been spotted. But over dinner Sadie got tipsy and openly flirty. And at 2am she led me by the hand to her bed.'

"The next day Barry�who doubles for Orlando Bloom in the movie Love And Other Disasters�and Sadie made love six times. In the shower, in the pool, on the sunbed, twice on the balcony and finally in bed."

Finally. And here we thought that Sadie Frost was awash in a sea of exquisite melancholy. Who knew?

"The following day the party sailed to the island of Formentera. It was then that the secret romance between the �6 million Hollywood divorcee and the movie wannabe became headline news after they were photographed on a beach.

"'Sadie was furious�she said they made her look a slapper.'"

There are so many ways we could go with that; but --Drumroll-- Enter stage right ... Kate Moss:

"That night Barry witnessed how spookily close Sadie was to supermodel Kate Moss�just before the News of the World exposed the girls' three-in-a-bed lesbian sessions with Davinia.

"'Kate invited us to her villa for dinner,' he said. 'But she and Sadie were so engrossed in each other all night I barely got a word in.

"Back in Britain Barry and Sadie carried on sleeping together whenever Sadie's children stayed away with Jude. 'I met him a couple of times,' said Barry. 'He was fine with me. But by now Dave was getting increasingly jealous.

"Before I'd arrived it was always Dave, Davinia and Sadie together. But as the new kid on the block I got all their attention."

"Soon Barry discovered that Davinia�known as the Loo Roll Princess because her daddy made his �150m fortune from toilet tissue � wanted more.

"He told us: 'She flirted with me from the start. Then one night she asked, �What would you think about a threesome with me and Sadie?'

"'I laughed. I thought she was playing games. But one afternoon I ended up watching TV on Sadie's bed with her and Davinia.

"'Suddenly Davinia started kissing Sadie. I didn't know where to look. I never knew they were that way inclined.

The incline being, of course, 90 degrees. More salacious British sex here.

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