Tuesday, January 17, 2006

Top 10 Golden Globes Moments

The Corsair, as always, predicted most of the wins. But the ceremony itself deserves some mention. Here are our 10 Best Moments of the telecast:

10-Ryan Philippe robustly "love tapping" his wife, the much-more famous Reese Witherspoon, "as if (she) was a linebacker." No rivalry issues going on that household, right?


Drew Barrymore, not less. (image via defamer)

9- Drew Barrymore's pert nipples (and ample jugs), clearly visible through her Sargasso-sea green dress ("T.T. phone home"), in prime time network coverage. And, better yet, the schoolmarmish network camera's cropping the shot after a minute or so.

8- The superhott Mary Louis Parker, graciously accepting her win, moments later showing a kicked dog expression at Chris Rock's acidic evaluation of her work on Showtime's "Weeds." Mary Louis Parker's fragile eyes made our hearts break and root for her win. Fuck you very much, Chris Rock.

7-An obviously imebriated Joaquim Phoenix (mitigating factor: It was rather late in the night), being helped offstage by a compassionate John Travolta.

6-Dennis Quaid's rather hilbilly remark that Brokeback Mountain is a film that rhymes with "chick flick." (Averted Gaze)


(image via hellomagazine)

5-The camera pan to a pissed-off looking Heath Ledger, who, it can be seen, mouths the word "chick flick?" to a concerned Michelle Williams.

4- Ryan Phillipe, three sheets to the wind, jumping up and down, flashing the money sign with his fingers, telling the imebriated Joaquim Phoenix to "pay up."

3- Ang Lee accepting his award for the "gay cowboy movie" from Clint Eastwood. Priceless. Rock on Ang Lee!

2- Gwyneth Paltrow's fake British Madonna accent ("ANT-nee Hopkins"). Shut the fuck up, Gwyneth.


(image via washingtonpost)

1- The fucking sinister looking Johnny Depp in marked contrast to his innocent, waiflike gf Vanessa Paradis. His look worked, in a goateed Underwood Deviled ham sort of way. Now we know what Lindsay Lohan meant when she said in Vanity Fair he looked "dirty." We'd have went with "filthy."

Honorable Mention: George Clooney, the Chattering Class Football Team Captain's "Jack-off" Jack Abramoff remark.

1 comment:

Zeynep said...

omg Ron: i knew the bog gay cowboy movie was going to take it all. and yes i was totally annoyed by gwyn's ref to ant-nee. fake british thing i guess. i'm totally rooting for Hoffman and Witherspoon for the Oscars.

and someone tell scarlett johannsen to get a dress that fits!