Wednesday, January 31, 2007

Part the Second: Will Candy Spelling Ever Make Love in This Town Again?


Continuing yesterday's inquiry into Whether or Not -- as Cindy Adams speculated acidly -- that Candy Spelling, she of the 70s jiggle television Spellings, bought out copies of a scandalous new book that alleges her deceased husband "broke her off a piece" of hooker ass every now and again. From Northern Territory News

"The authors are four women well-placed to report on the behind-the-scenes sex lives of the rich and famous - Carly Milne, a former porn industry publicist, Jennifer Young, the daughter of the late movie star Gig Young and a pal of infamous Hollywood madam Heidi Fleiss, and two anonymous call girls, Amanda, who has 20 years experience, and Olivia, a paid escort to movie stars and Arab royalty.

"Julie Osborne, who edited the book, said that with such explosive revelations about very powerful people, the publishers decided to keep the contents a secret.

"... Milne said the story she was most shocked by in the book was that of billionaire TV producer Aaron Spelling, who died in June, and his 61-year-old wife Candy, parents of actress Tori Spelling.

"'Aaron Spelling would hire female escorts for Candy and he would watch her have sex with the hooker and then he would have sex with Candy while the hooker watched,' she said.

"'The theory was that Candy was actually a lesbian.'

"The salacious nature of the book, which was launched at a Los Angeles club on Thursday night, has already prompted one of America's most powerful gossip columnists Cindy Adams to speculate that its publication will lead to a lot of grovelling from the named-and-shamed celebrities to their partners.

"'The book is great for jewellers,' she wrote in her column in The New York Post ...

"'Many wives will be getting many expensive gifts.'"

Juicy and Jazzy. But what intrigues us most is how daughter Tori -- or, as we like to call her, "MissSpelling" -- is
not inviting her *allegedly* Sapphic Mama to her baby shower. instead -- How Hollywood is this shit -- her fictional mom, Loni Anderson, of the VH1 show "So NoTorious" will be there, presumably in place of Candy.
Joe Biden Runs; Promptly Inserts Foot In Mouth

Joseph Biden, the prominent Senator from the state of Delaware with the implausible spray-on hair (Exaggerated cough suggesting feigned detachment), limped into the crowded Democratic field by seeking after the stupid ass vote, complimenting Senator Barack Obama of Illinois on his ... cleanliness. Oh, dear.

Mama says WHA-A-AT?! From Jake Tapper:

"Senator Joe Biden, D-Del., the loquacious chairman of the Senate Foreign Relations Committee who launched his presidential campaign today, may be experiencing an ailment not entirely unknown to him: foot in mouth disease.

"Biden is taking some heat for comments he made to the New York Observer, in which he said of Sen. Barack Obama, D-Ill., a rival for the nomination: 'I mean, you got the first mainstream African-American who is articulate and bright and clean and a nice-looking guy. I mean, that's a storybook, man.'"

No, "man," that's a bona fide GAFFE. A gaffe nearly as politically clumsy as reconnoitering former Labor MP Neil Kinnock's speech to the Labor Party during a 1987 campaign speech at the Iowa State Fairgrounds in 1987. Plagerism by any other name, "man. (The Corsair absently a bottle of Chateauneuf du Pape 1999)."

Biden is wonderful on the Senate Foreign Relations Committe, and he may be a fine Secreatry of State to a future Democratic President -- but he is categorically not ready for Prime Time.
Forest Whitaker to Host SNL

We're looking forward to the "all-but-certain "Crying Game" skit (And, of course, the all but certain "Fast Times at Ridgemont High" football referencing of Charles Jefferson). According to the Press Release:

"On February 10, SNL welcomes freshly minted Oscar nominee Forest Whitaker for his SNL debut.

One of the most accomplished actors/directors/producers working today, Whitaker is having a banner year. For his work as Ugandan dictator Idi Amin in 'The Last King of Scotland,' he has received practically every critic's award; a Golden Globe and SAG award as Best Actor and has been nominated for an Oscar for the role.

Whitaker is a veteran of numerous films since his debut at 21 in 'Fast Times At Ridgemont High,' Whitaker has appeared in such memorable and diverse studio and indie movies as 'Panic Room,' Clint Eastwood's 'Bird' 'The Crying Game' 'Ghost Dog: The Way of the Samurai,' "

"... Also making his first appearance on SNL is Grammy Award winner Keith Urban. In what has been a relatively short period of time Urban has amassed seven No. 1 singles and 12 Top 5's. His latest album, 'Love, Pain & the whole crazy thing,' debuted at No. 1 on the Billboard Country Album Chart, giving him his second consecutive No.1 album. The first single from the album "Once In A Lifetime," set a record as the highest debuting song in the history of the Billboard Hot Country Singles Chart and his latest, 'Stupid Boy,' recently entered the Top 10."
Separated at Birth?

.... Stephen King's serial killing, Pennywise? (image via RottenTomatoes)

.... And Conde Nast's status seeking, E. Graydon Carter. (image via BBC)
Picture Pages, Picture Pages ...

Those aren't holes in Unilateralist World Bank Presient Paul Wolfowitz's socks. They're ventilation. (image via guardian.blogs via drudgereport)

There were holes in his Iraq invasion theory as well. (image via guardian.blogs via drudgereport)

Eccentric theorist Paul Wolfowitz illustartes the Euro-Atlantic power gap with his hosiery. (image via guardian.blogs via drudgereport)

Don't think of them as holes. Think of them as Low-Tech Ventilation. (image via guardian.blogs via drudgereport)
Tara Did The BoogerSugar (But, Then, So Did Matt)

(image via xinhua)

Young New Yorkers -- monied and not monied -- on the prowl in the afterhours have been known to indulge in the BoogerSugar. The pause that refreshes! And so did Tara Connor, Miss USA. No harm, no foul. So we were kind of amazed at the play that her recent admission to Matt Lauer on the Today Show got. According to those intrepid Page Sixxies:

"YES, she snorted. In an interview to air tomorrow, Miss USA Tara Connor admits to 'Today' show host Matt Lauer that, 'I have done cocaine, yeah.'"

Wew bring this up because -- sniff, sniff -- Matt Lauer, once a young, single New Yorker on the prowl -- sniff, sniff -- wouldn't know anything at all about Bolivian Marching Powder -- sniff, sniff -- now would he?

Joe Francis: Tara Reid Not That great

(image via alarm-alarm)

There are some things in show business one knows well to avoid. One is Janice Dickinson. "Blast" her at your own risk. Your sexual prowess or cowardice will be chronicled by her in a future tome.

Another one to avoid is the exquisitely oily Wilmer Valderama. And, of course, "Girls Gone Wild" sleaze mogul Joe Francis. Today he gave what Robin Quivers of the Howard Stern Show described as the "greatest interview ever". From Marksfriggin:

"Howard asked Joe who gives the best blow job. Joe said that Paris is the best. He also said that she's best overall with sex as well. He said she's the best out of everyone he's been with. Howard asked him who's the worst. He said Tara Reid. He wasn't sure why but thought about it for a second and said that she's uhhh... I dunno.'' He said he loves Tara but she's 'You know, I don't know.' Robin asked if she just lays there. Joe said yes to that. He tried doing her a few times but it wasn't very good at all. Joe said he used protection and that may not have helped. Robin wondered if he wasn't able to feel anything. Joe said it just wasn't that great."

Tara Reid's career, ladies and gentlemen; Tara reid's career ...

Tuesday, January 30, 2007

Andre Leon Talley: "Voice of the Oscars"

(image via Barteverly)

The mellifluous tones that embroider themselves silkily into that rich alto known colloquially as "African-American Manliness (tm)" has come a long way indeed. When one thinks today of the voice of African-American virility, one's mind conjures the heart of intergalactic evil at the dark center of the Star Wars trilogy (Thanks you, James Earl Jones). But the conquest of the galaxy is not enough. Hardly. Now, the Voice of Oscar Fashion will also be that of a large and in-charge cocoa-brother, namely, Andre Leon Talley. From Fashion weekdaily:

"For once, the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences is getting Oscar fashion right. How many ill-prepared supermodels, television talking heads, and even sportscasters have described fashion on the network pre-shows over the years, only to cause the millions who watch to yawn—with embarrassment? This year, on February 25 at the Kodak Theater, no less a fashion personage than Vogue’s editor-at-large André Leon Tally will be what Academy Awards producer Laura Ziskin is calling 'the voice of the Oscars.' Talley will narrate the pre-show fashion coverage and be intricately involved with the event throughout the evening."

Congratulations ALT; you do your thing.
Tragically Beautiful CNN Anchor Unfairly Compared To Paris Hilton

(image via AnderonCooper)

Tragically beautiful and impossibly wellborn CNN anchor and everyone's favorite emoticon, Anderson Cooper has been crudely compared by windbag Roger Ailes's bloviating Fox Network to Paris "Little Miss Assless" Hilton (Exaggerated cough suggesting geigned detachment). Unforgivable. Anderson Cooper cannot possibly be compared to such louche vulgarity as is Paris Hilton (Averted Gaze). Cooper does, however, compare favorably in passing reference to the ancient "Bust of Dying Alexander" at the Uffizi gallery(A dismissive wave). From TMZ:

"In the world of conservative news nerds, calling someone 'Paris Hilton' is an insult. That 'slur' has now been hurled by FOX News at grey-haired golden boy Anderson Cooper."

(image via guistgallery)

Pardon. Un point du depart. Calling Anderson Cooper "gray-hared golden boy," is also profoundly misleading, and, more to the point, it fucks with my mellow (An expressive silence). This blog prefers to see Anderson Cooper as the Earthly Embodiment of Rilke's Archaic Torso of Apollo ("Else this stone would stand defaced and squat/ under the shoulders' diaphanous dive/ and not glisten like a predator's coat/ and not from every edge explode/ like starlight: for there's not one spot/that doesn't see you. You must change your life").

Thnak you very much. Continue:

"In the latest issue of Television Week, the right-leaning cable net ran a two-page ad with the screaming headline: 'MEET THE PARIS HILTON OF TELEVISION NEWS.' Anderson isn't pictured or named, but there's a photo, taken from behind, of a slim, grey-haired man in a suit.

"The ad also says that 'Anderson' is 'style over substance' and a 'media darling.' But here's the kicker: ' He still gets beat EVERY NIGHT BY ... Greta Van Susteren.' Ouch."

First off, lets get things straight. Anderson doesn't get beaten by Greta Von Susteren. Anderson Cooper gets beaten by his own mighty mortality, like Christ in Medieval Illuminated Manuscripts.

Just so you know ...
Corsair Classic

Will Candy Spelling Ever Make Love in This Town Again?

(image via timeinc)

Left coast mistress of the universe Candy Spelling, of the "70s Jiggle television" fortune (Averted gaze), may or may not have put the kibosh on the distribution of a nauty tell all that outs her Sapphic tendencies. Apparently old man Spelling, before he died, liked to "break his wife off a piece of ass" every now and again. Allegedly. And now the book is mysteriously disappearing off the shelves of LA bookstores. And Cindy Adams has some provocative thoughts:

"I'VE reported a Phoenix book you need a hazmat suit to hold, 'Hooking Up: You'll Never Make Love in This Town Again Again,' is a re-up on the 10-year-old best seller 'You'll Never Make Love in This Town Again.' It's by a couple of call girls and paid escorts. Besides the usual subjects, Charlie Sheen, Gene Simmons, and Jack Nicholson, it mentions Schwarzenegger, Federline, Tommy Lee, Brad Pitt, Laurence Fishburne, Matt LeBlanc, etc.

"So Jackie and Joan Collins, Alana Hamilton, Barbara Davis, lunching at former agent Sue Mengers', complained they couldn't find a copy. Its 20,000 print run had vanished. Did someone reach someone in the distribution operation? Seemingly one mass purchase in a lot of 10,000 was bought out before it hit the L.A. stores, and not a copy was available. The sweet ladies speculated it might've been Candy Spelling because a few pages were devoted to her and because, they said, she has the wherewithal and the money. Me, I know nothing.

Pity Tori Spelling (Or, as we like to call her, "Misspelling"), who has to resort to louche garage sales to keep her in belly shirts and implant upgrades. Whatever she got in her father's Will, it probably wasn't quite what it ought to have been considering what she was used to.

Enquiring minds want to know: Did Candy spelling *allegedly* spend more money to *allegedly* keep that book off the shelves than she ended up handing to her daughter in the Will.

Things that make you go hmmm.
Picture Pages, Picture Pages ...

The problem is Jared Leto; the solution is a stiff right cross delivered to the chops. (image via vh1)

And, in conclusion, the chastened K-Fed trades his trademark "Fosse" cap for a Burger King paper hat, and promises never to harbor ambitions beyond his station in life. And Sunni's and the Shi'ites form a stable government in Iraq. And everybody lives happily ever after. The End.(image via perezhilton)

Don't get Graydon Carter angry ... you wouldn't like it when he's angry. (image via gawker via nypost)

Judith Miller: The Ghost of Mary Kate Olsen future (oversized Starbucks cup included) (image via fishbowldc)
Fox Interactive Media is Hungry

(image via theage)

The Murdoch dynasty extends itself further into the digital realm. Fox Interactive Media may be in talks to buy Strategic Data Corps, which would then ostensibly become an in-house ad agency. According to Om Malik (link via paidcontent):

"Fox Interactive Media, after a period of relative quiet, is getting acquisitive again. The company is said to be in talks to acquire Strategic Data Corp., a company based in Santa Monica, California, that helps online publishers optimize their online advertising yields.

"Talks are at an advanced stage, though no deal has been finalized. Fox routinely talks with various start-ups with an eye on possible acquisition or an investment. Fox Interactive spokesperson declined to comment.

"If the deal does close, then it would be the second deal by News Corp.,-Fox Interactive this year. Earlier today1, News Corp., took a 10 percent stake in a company called Roo Group; a fact that apparently wasn’t2 known to the FIM Group, up until this morning, when the Wall Street Journal reported the story."

In other news from the House of Murdoch, from Medialifemagazine:

"In the UK, Rupert Murdoch is a major newspaper and satellite operator but not particularly big in magazines, but certain things are afoot in that department. Amid talk that Murdoch aspires to launch a newsweekly, his magazine division is going through what appears to be a change of direction. One title, a niche decorator title, Inside Out, is being closed after less than a year, and that follows by weeks word that another women's title still in the planning stages--code name Project Dannii--was getting chopped."

Monday, January 29, 2007

Corsair Classic

Heche-tile, Climbing

Our favorite cold blooded reptilian actress Anne Heche --with an uncredited screen performance as "Celestia" -- is finally vocalizing in, no doubt, a series of calculated hisses interspersed with sudden squirts of necrotoxic venom (Averted Gaze). According to those intrepid Page Sixxies:

"ANNE Heche reportedly dropped her husband Coley Laffoon like a hot potato for her 'Men in Trees' co-star, James Tupper - and the actress is now talking about it. While Heche refuses to confirm that she is actually with Tupper, she told 'Entertainment Tonight,' when asked about their on-screen relationship, 'We have a beautiful relationship . . . I think people like to read a lot into the chemistry we have on the show, and I think it's fantastic. We all have a lot of chemistry. We love each other, we're like a family here, we all go out on the weekends. I'm obviously going through something personal in my life, and I don't know what is going to happen in my future.' We can only wish Tupper good luck - fickle Heche has a habit of leaving one person for another. Five years ago, she dumped Ellen DeGeneres for Laffoon."

And, two years previous, she *allegedly* dumped Steve Martin for Ellen.


Like the sloughing off of an old layer of now irrelevant skin, Heche ritually purges herself of her former "surfaces" as she scrambles up that heat rock known as The Evolutionary Ladder towards the sun, which, after all, is only a "Star."

And, true believers, Anne Heche hungers -- hungers! -- with all her 3-chambered reptilian heart after some of that goddam "Stardom."
Preakness' Loss is Lagerfeld's Gain

(image via VelvetClub

Fans of the courageous colt "Barbaro" will be saddened to learn that despite showing signs of improving from his Preakness hoof injury, he was put down today. According to Bloomberg:

" Kentucky Derby winner Barbaro, who shattered his right hind ankle as an undefeated 3-year-old in pursuit of horse racing's Triple Crown, lost ``his biggest race'' and was euthanized today.

"Barbaro, who won the Derby by the largest margin in 60 years, suffered multiple fractures on May 20, 2006, when he took a misstep 200 yards from the starting gate in the Preakness Stakes at Pimlico Race Course in Baltimore.

"The horse, whose injury and recovery inspired widespread public affection, was euthanized today, Jim Gluckson of the National Thoroughbred Racing Association said. The Pennsylvania veterinary hospital where Barbaro was treated said a news conference was scheduled for 4 p.m. New York time."

Somewhere, in a French Chateau, notorious horseivore Karl Lagerfeld is sauteeing and carmelizing some wild onions in rapt anticipation of tucking into the equine remains of the day ... (*The Corsair shudders*)
Will Rahm Support Hill?


Rahm Emmanuel is in a double bind -- Does he support his hometown Illinois hero for the Presdiency? Or, Does Rahm allow his Illinois flank to go unprotected and tack towards his longtime political patrons, The Clintons of Chattauqua, NY, by way of bucolic Hope, Ark (Exaggerated cough suggesting feiged detachment). Who will former ballet dancer and Democratic Party savior Rahm Emmanuel support? According to our favorite Dickensian villain (Think of the full bodied lips, those impeccably tailored three-piece suits, that single-minded devotion to a capital gains tax cut, and, finally, the beady eyes that conjure forth forbidding images of ... (sotto voce) 'Ebeneezer.'
, Rovak, in the ChiSun Times:

"Sources close to Sen. Barack Obama are sure that Rep. Rahm Emanuel will not support his fellow Illinois Democrat for the presidential nomination but will back Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton.

"If so, Emanuel would be the only prominent Democratic officeholder in Illinois not for Obama. As a senior White House aide, Emanuel was one of President Bill Clinton's favorites. Emanuel has been close to both of the Clintons.

"Emanuel refuses to talk about his 2008 presidential choice. He says he was deeply engaged in politics for two years as chairman of the Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee and in his new role, as House Democratic Caucus chairman, he is committed to legislation."
What Was Charlotte Raye Smoking?

What was Mrs. Garrett smoking when picking a fight with a maneater like Joan Collins?

Judith Regan Kind Of Grossed Out Rupert Murdoch


(image via nymag)

Judith Regan's adolescent -- sociopathic, even --love of the dark side of human affairs (porn, OJ, Los Angeles, The National Enquirer, bumping loins with Bernie Kerik)culminated in her spectacularly disgusting anti-semitic flameout. Frankly, considering Regan's moral trajectory we were betting the over/under on allegations of Satanism and involvement with the Klan ultimately bringing her low.

Word is now that Regan, formerly the most powerful publisher in the world, apparently skeeved out her old boss Rupert Murdoch. And ethically-neutral business-types rarely get skeeved out unless it involves a lack of profitmaking. This says so much about Regan's alarming flirtation the outer limits of The Heart of Darkness. From Vanessa Grigoriades in Nymag:

"If the O.J. book and TV special had worked out, she might have been heralded as a multiplatform genius; she would’ve been positioned perfectly to become a kind of Martha Stewart, the face of her own publishing empire. With Martha, there was a veneer of the traditional feminine homemaker over the steely ambition, but with Judith, everything was on show, and what a show it was. Regan had been known to scream, 'I have the biggest cock in the building' from behind her desk. O.J. was meant to be her coming-out in Los Angeles, her clarion call to the entertainment industry. 'Before the book was even announced, back when it was a secret, Judith was telling people it was the book of her career,' says a friend.

"The O.J. project also promised to give her something else she wanted: a new relationship with News Corp. chairman Rupert Murdoch. Regan had a complicated, often paradoxical relationship with her corporate overlords. Murdoch had always respected Regan’s commercial instincts, yet, as ReganBooks made up an infinitesimal portion of News Corp.’s bottom line, she wasn’t exactly in his inner circle. He wasn’t thrilled when her dalliances with former police commissioner Bernie Kerik made the news, and in fact was a little grossed-out before that when Kerik sent on-duty cops to make midnight visits to Fox employees after Regan complained that someone had stolen her cell phone on a Fox TV set. He sometimes left her off the list of conference invitees, like the one for 250 executives in Pebble Beach, California, last year."

Don't feel bad, Rupert, Mate. Judith Regan kind of grosses all of us out.

Friday, January 26, 2007

Spike Lee To Direct New Network Pilot

(image via

He's done indie films, feature films, advertising, and now Spike Lee is doing network television. According to Medialifemagazine:

"NBC has tapped Spike Lee to direct the pilot for the drama 'M.O.N.Y.' The show will be about an unlikely average Joe who becomes the mayor of New York."

MONY is the latest in what we like to call SpikONICS (tm), which is kind of like Ebonics, but far more astonishingly self indulgent and wholly without historical context.

You'll remember, of course, Spike Lee's neologism "Crooklyn (Exaggerated cough suggesting feigned detachment)," which is a wonderful film but a word ... which only has meaning to the few, the brave, and the immediate family of Spike Lee.

And, to be sure, a Spike Lee film is not called "un film de," or any somesuch, but rather, "A Spike Lee Joint."

Smoke 'em if you got em.

Thursday, January 25, 2007

Did Jenifer Aniston Do Booger Sugar; Or, JBlow

(image via

Okay, this news is a bit old. But if you haven't heard it yet, Jenifer Aniston had the strangest operation for a "deviated septum" I have ever seen. It appears that as a result of it her bra size has increased significantly. Now, we're not saying that she is behind this story involving Bolivian Marching Powder, According to the excellent Ben Widdicombe's Gatecrasher: " That actress who had surgery on her septum? Who knew she still had one?"

This could be any actress -- sniff, sniff --that recently undertook an operation for a deviated septum recently. We just don't know any.
Why is Jared Leto Such a Man-Bitch?

Jennifer onnely wants her look back, asshole. (image via

Jared Let's obnoxious "guyliner" rankles. The multiple starlet conquests are calculated to rasp. The shitty band with the shitty name
boggles the imagination. His attitude towards his fans leaves something to be desired. His celebrated "Beef Cheeks"... oh, let's not go there, shall we?

There are a host of reasons why anyone wouldn't want to lay a stiff whipsmack across Jared Leto's supine lips, and then, with a studied insouciance, return volley with a ruthless and unexpected BACKHAND, just to even things out geometrically (Exaggerated cough suggesting feigned detachment). Nah mean? From Dose:

"Remember when Jared Leto was downright dreamy, pouting his way into our hearts as the brooding, illiterate (yet oh-so adorable) Jordan Catalano on ABC's My So-Called Life? Yeah, us neither. The former heartthrob-turned-crappy-emo-rocker has all but erased our fond memories with his recent petulant streak, which was on full display at that year's Sundance Film Festival.

"In town to promote his new flick, Chapter 27, Leto picked fights with the paparazzi and fellow club-goers in the VIP section of Tao nightclub on Saturday night, reports the New York Post's Page Six. The eyeliner-obsessed 'star' shouted at photographers before getting into a screaming match with another club patron.

"'[Leto] whipped off his hat with earflaps on and stepped up to the guy,' a source tells Page Six. 'They were yelling at each other.'

"The greasy actor also made a scene when he heard a rumour that Justin Timberlake, who also dated Leto's ex, Cameron Diaz, was planning a surprise performance at Tao, reports the New York Daily News.

'"Jared flipped out,' a witness tells the newspaper. 'He literally freaked out and left the party.'"

And now this, from something called Starpulse:

"Jared Leto attacked Elijah Wood at an awards show last year because the star had told friends he didn't like Leto's band. The 26-year-old star was attending the MTVU Woodie Awards in November when Leto, who is the lead singer of cult act 30 Seconds To Mars, approached his table.

"Leto came over, whispered in Wood's ear and walked away, but then turned around, grabbed him by the throat and called him a 'f** a**hole.'

"Wood tells Jane magazine, 'He was basically upset at the fact that I said I didn't like his band. He said that initially and walked away. I guess he thought I was laughing at him, but I was more shell-shocked and telling people around me, 'Whoa, I just got told off by Jared Leto for not liking his band.' And that's when he came back and grabbed me.'

"He adds, 'I told Jared it wasn't personal. He acted like I'd been disrespecting him or speaking about his family. Things like that don't usually happen to me. I'm very non-confrontational. The whole thing was kind of ridiculous.'"

Jared leto is kind of like Eminem that way. He's threatening to Elijah Wood, who weighs 85 lbs soaking wet (Like Eminem's archnemesis Moby), but pussies out majorly at the possibility of a spot of the "Rough-Rough" with-- of all people -- Justin Timberlake.

Please try and choke The Corsair, Jared Leto. PLEASE TRY AND CHOKE US. We will straddle you and BEAT YOUR ASS thoroughly with crisp right crosses interspersed with shots to the "chops". It will be for you, we cannot fail to note, a spiritually cleansing and a uniquely tailored learning experience through the agonies of suffering.
Best Of Davos, Day 4:

Link via Arianna Huffington via Jeff Jarvis' Buzzmachine

The Shifting Power Equation The Environment and instability in The Middle East are the big topics at Davis this year and, we cannot fail to note, these are all readymade Al Gore specialties. We're just saying. From Arianna Huffington:

"Amid much pessimistic speculation about the myriad problems facing us -- Iran, North Korea, China, a growing hostility to America throughout the world -- (Former Presidential advisor David) Gergen offered a sliver of sunshine, saying that he sensed 'a cracking of the ice' on the domestic political front, with progress on the horizon on immigration, energy policy, and health care. As Exhibit A he cited the number of Republican House members who voted in favor of the Democrats' 100 Hour agenda.

"He called Bush's foreign policies 'misguided as hell,' but based his hope on the fact that 'One of the things America has always been reasonably good at is self-correction. I think that no matter who replaces the current administration, we will undertake that process of self-correction.' This prompted Laudicina to recall the words of Winston Churchill who once proclaimed: 'America will always do the right thing, after exhausting all other possibilities.'

"I took the opportunity to wish that Gergen, Kristof, and (Jay) Nordlinger (who shares my passion for Maria Callas, if not my politics) would help accelerate the cracking of the ice by calling on the media to stop presenting so many issues (especially Iraq) using the outdated right/left, red state/blue state framing."

Angela Merkel, arguably THE A-Lister at Davos (Now that her alliterative twin Angelina opted out), is, according to Julian Glover, a duller event than observing a nice slow instance of photosynthesis.

It is instructive to note, however, how muchPower women have this year in world politics. Seeing Madame Speaker sitting behind the President was one thing. As is the current Democratic Party frontrunner for '08. Summing up TheGuardian's Julian Glover, of Merkel, the rhetorically-challenges superstar at Davos:

"In the end what matters about Merkel is her power: unlike Tony Blair, who will close this conference on Saturday, and who will no doubt speak much more sweetly and passionately, she can follow up her words with action.

"Rhetoric is all very well. But reality gives even the dullest speech meaning."

and, on a lighter note, what do the Masters of the Universe like to eat (Aside from Panamanian peasant babies, we mean)? From the International Herald Tribune:

"... With 250 private receptions, midnight corporate munch sessions and breakfast, lunch and dinner seminars with proliferating plot lines ranging from "Russia's More Muscular Diplomacy" to whether 'CEOs are disproportionately affected by depression,' the answer remains the same.

"'We don't know,' said the forum's media chief, Mark Adams. 'What the delegates eat and drink is up to the chefs at the hotels and restaurants where the events are held. They like to surprise.'

"Historically, it's perhaps no surprise that veal — usually schnitzeled — is the most frequent main-course meat served up by the forum's Alpine chefs.

"Bündnerfleisch, a pricey dried-beef delicacy from the Grisons region, is rarely seen on the seminar menu, though some hotels do offer delegates other local specialties such as capuns (a meat, cheese and salad-leaf pie) and a drippy sweet nut-and-honey dessert called bündner nusstorte.

"As for the wine, it's mostly Swiss, both red and white.

"One thing has long been clear: Power brokers prefer prawns.

"Over the past five years, prawns, peeled down and piled high, have been the main attraction at the annual reception given by the NYSE Group, which runs the New York Stock Exchange.

"Long prawn lines are also guaranteed at the extravagant bashes for delegates sponsored by Google, Citigroup and Goldman Sachs Group, whose guests are usually entertained with harp music."
RoVak: "Bush is not .. capable of reaching oratorical heights"


(image via CNN)

Our favorite Dickensian villain. Robert Novak, a staunch Supply-Side Republican if there ever was one, turns against President Bush with a profund violence. We thought good old "Rovak" was only capable of showing that much spleen to his old archenemy, John McLaughlin. From the ChicagoSun-Times:

"Bush's strategy was to delay any mention of the war against terrorism until 23 minutes into a 50-minute speech. That brought him to Iraq, an issue where he steadily has been losing support.

"He began the speech with complicated proposals on issues that polls show ordinary citizens care about: energy, health care and education.

"These proposals had been crafted by the president's bureaucracy, and they did not stir lawmakers on either side of the aisle. In the Democratic-controlled Congress, the proposals have no practical chance of success, though the president intended his program to be 'non-confrontational' and perhaps acceptable to some Democrats.

"Bush is not a president capable of reaching oratorical heights, and he did not even try."

Wee, the President has the consolation that Novak delievered this particularly stinging bitchsmack via the pen and not in person as the distinguished Sun-Times scribe tends to Spray it rather than say it.

Fer realsies.

David Gergen, advisor to what seems like every President since Warren Harding was equally blunt about the utter lack of rhetorical power to the SOTU (We have agonized over Bush's lack of Communication as well) From "Arianna Huffington": "'This is nuts! It's just crazy to me.' That was the Machiavellian David Gergen's assessment of the Bush administration's failure to use diplomacy to confront the looming Iran nuclear crisis (he is clearly far more unplugged in Davos than he is on CNN).

"We were wrapping up our early morning panel, taking a look ahead at the key economic and political issues on America's horizon. Our fellow panelists were Nicholas Kristof and Jay Nordlinger. Paul Laudicina moderated.

"Gergen started off the session by evaluating Bush's State of the Union on the two criteria Aristotle said are essential to a great speech, logos and pathos (logic and emotion). He thought the problem with the speech was that it was light on pathos. I thought it was light on pathos, too -- but utterly devoid of even a wisp of logos."
The Soup on Studio 60

So cruel, so unfair, so funny:

This blog is still pro-Studio 60, which is much-improved.
Anne Heche Trades Up

(image via adorocinema)

The reptilian efficiency with which Anne Heche trades upwards romantically is quite astonishing to observe from the safe distance afforded by high-powered binoculars (The Corsair pops a bottle of 1999 Chateau de Beaucastel). Sociology Departments at the finer Midwestern Graduate schools should look to scheduling entire courses around how Anne Heche disposes of her now-irrelevant fuckies (Averted Gaze). From those intrepid Page Sixxies:

"ANNE Heche has left hubby Coley Lafoon for her 'Men in Trees' co-star James Tupper, 'Entertainment Tonight' reports. A rep for Heche confirmed to Page Six that she and Lafoon, who have a son, have separated, but would not say whether she's seeing Tupper. A flack for Tupper, who's also married and has a child, said he has also separated, but declined further comment 'on his personal life.' The 'Men in Trees' story line has Heche and Tupper playing red-hot lovers in Alaska. Heche was once hot and heavy with Ellen DeGeneres."

And, of course, there is Steve Martin, whom she dated for two years before Ellen. Allegedly Heche is the basis for the vapid starfucker with ambivalent loins that Heather Graham plays in "Bowfinger (see below)."

Exaggerated cough suggesting feigned detachment. (image via

Or maybe Martin based in on "Celestia," Heche's otherworldly alter ego (Averted Gaze)

Wednesday, January 24, 2007

Davos: Day 3

(image via CNN)

The lack of celebrities this year has given, it seems -- admittedly from the distance of NYC -- a more somber and serious patina. Then again, considering the times, perhaps this is for the best. From Jim Wallis of HuffPo:

"But most of the questions and discussion in the seminar for these world business and social leaders were about American foreign policy--especially Iraq, Iran, and the Middle East. It reminded me again of just how badly the United States is now perceived, almost universally, around the world. And Bush was implacable on Iraq, vigorously defending his plan to escalate (he still says "win") a failed and disastrous war. Jay Nordlinger, the Managing Editor of the conservative National Review, rather sheepishly pointed out that Bush was doing what he believed in, despite its unpopularity, and that was a kind of leadership. Others weren't so kind, calling U.S. policy that pits "triumphalism" against "realism" as nothing short of "delusional."

And there was even more concern about the potential of an American (or Israeli) military air strike against Iran. One of the panelists was New York Times columnist Nicholas Kristof, who I met this morning for the first time. I have been deeply moved by many of his columns on Darfur, the modern slavery of sex trafficking, human rights, and foreign policy from a deeply moral perspective. I told him he was "doing the Lord's work," which got me a big smile. Kristof spoke very seriously about North Korea's and Iran's progress toward nuclear weapons, but that an American military strike aimed at Iran's nuclear facilities in various cities would be "the height of irresponsibility,"
Lunch at Michael's, Or: Glenn Frey's At the Bar ...


(image via fishbowlny)

For whatever reason Michael's, the lo ultimo of Manhattan media watering holes, was Popping today. Multimedia barons and baronets were scattered throughout the room. FishbnowlNY has the roll call of talent:

"1: Tom Brokaw, looking very Tom Brokaw-like, with George Stevens.

"2: MTV Networks development chief John Sykes.

".. 4: Arthur Schlesinger, Jr."

Good old indestructable Artie Schlesinger is still alive and kicking. Artie, once the life of the party at John Kennedy's Camelot -- where the drinks were stiff and JFK's "pipe" stiffer -- has now metamorphosed, in the Winter of his life, into the most distinguished living historian of these United States of Amnesia. And to think it all began with a flawed biography on The Age of Jackson, and is in the process of concluding-- ironically -- on the cusp of a new (but all-too-familiar to Jacksonian scholars) Era of Economic Nationalism and "America First" Populism (For further reference: see Senator Webb's Democratic response to the SOTU Adress last night).

".. 7: Joan Rivers, long-time agent Billy Sammeth and always-affable VH1 Best Week Ever producer Fred Graver."

Fred Graver?! No shit! That's a new one by Michael's intimate hierarchy. Tres Interessant. Does that mean Joan Rivers is thinking of doing something pop-cultural for Viacom's valuable cable properties? Is Graver wooing Rivers and her manager? Say Yes, Joan; Graver has the Midas Touch in the insular world of Cable Television (And he wrote some of the goddam best episodes of that significant 80s artifact, ""Cheers""). Stay tuned ...

"8: Second seating: Michael Gross with Sheila Weller, whose triple-biography of Carole King, Joni Mitchell and Carly Simon, Girl's Like Us, is due next year on Atrium. First seating: David Patrick Columbia, (Jayne Chase and Jen Goodkind).

From our favorite social chronicler, David Patrick Columbia, in NYSocialDiary: "I was lunching with Jayne Chase and Jen Goodkind who have a radio show every Wednesday morning at 9 on WGCH (1490 on the AM dial) in Greenwich (you can stream it out there in Wichita or Hong Kong) called 'The Fashionable Life.'

(image via nysocialdiary)

"... They spend about three or four of their weekdays in the City with their various enterprises and pursuits. During Fashion Week which begins February 5th, they’ll be broadcasting from the tents in Bryant Park where all of the major shows are held."

9: Former WNBC-TV anchor Felicia Taylor and 'her boss.' Taylor, in jeans, stopped by Table 3 to say hi to (Michael's "mayor" Joe) Armstrong and (Men's Health editor and abs afficionado David)Zinczenko.

"... 12: D. Fine (?) and NBC's Natalie Morales. Morales, in a skirt and black leather boots, also stopped by to kiss frequent Today show guest Zinczenko at Table 3."

"14: Neil Sedaka."

Sedaka? This is like a motherfucking Fellini movie. Which one of these is not like the others/ Which one of these just doesn't be-long ...

"15: HarperCollins editor and soccer-aficionado David Hirshey.

"... 19: ... ex-Seventeen editor and MySpace blogger Atoosa Rubenstein, in a shimmering, Kelly green attire."

Atoosa, so recently brutalized by Gawker. And:

"..At the bar: Eagles guitarist Glenn Frey. Also, our lunchmate, Page Six reporter Corynne Steindler, who had had too much caffeine."

Glenn "Smuggler's Blues" Frey? Of "Miami Vice" The Heat is On .... For the full story go to FishbnowlNY.
Bill Clinton Shows up at Terry McAuliffe's Book Party

(image via myonlineimage)

Ever wonder what a Clinton meet-and-greet is like? Our favorite social chronicler and pal David Patrick Columbia captures the mood perfectly of A Clintonian Entrance. From NYSOcialDiary:

"By eight o’clock I was getting nervous since I was supposed to be at a dinner at the Museum of the City of New York by 8:15, and the Clintons who were expected at the McAuliffe party hadn’t showed up. Waiting by the entrance to the dining room (along with a lot of other people), I was talking to Richard Hall, a cameraman from CSPAN in Washington, who told me Clinton would be arriving very soon. I asked him how he knew. He said you can feel it in a room when the arrival is imminent, that the energy changes. It starts, he said, with someone (who’s connected by wire with the entourage) saying they were “just two minutes away” and soon the word spreads.

"Well, it wasn’t two minutes; more like five, but suddenly coming down the corridor was Bill Clinton, looking slender in his bespoke navy suit with high double vents and distinguished with that full head of white hair. He was just through the portal when the guests besieged him with greetings of affection as he stopped to say hello.

"There was a flank of cameras (including Mr. Hall and Patrick McMullan) aimed directly at him and outflanking this digital-duffer. You can see what I saw.

"Despite his slender physique, his handsome face and beautiful hair, Mr. Clinton looked older than the last time I saw him a couple of years ago. I mentioned this to a couple of people who felt the observation was too critical (although not insulting). They misunderstood. Both the former President and his wife are known to be hard-working, really indefatigable, and time has begun to engrave that on the man."

Also attending Monday night's soiree were Ed Koch, who huddled with Al Sharpton, and According to page Six, a mysterious blonde with a Bill Clinton "love Jones." Plus ca change ...

Does Rupert Murdoch Want A Piece of The Chicago Tribune?


(image via MilikenInstitute)

Does Media Master of the Universe Rupert Murdoch have designs on the Chicago Tribune? And, if so, Does that make him Michael Wolf's "anonymous billionaire"? Probably not as The New York Post is a part of the newspaper business." But otherwise he fits the bill. According to Stacy Kramer of PaidContent:

"The bidding for the Tribune Company may be getting more interesting if a report from the Financial Times about Rupert Murdoch’s involvement proves out. The FT Report (sub. req.) has Murdoch joining forces with the Chandlers in their bid for the company, which may or may not actually be for sale. Under this scenario, Murdoch would have a minority stake in the newspapers; the Chandler offer calls for the broadcasting division to be sold or spun off. Citing a person familiar with the situation, the FT said Murdoch wants to combine the back office and operations of Newsday, a Tribune paper, with News Corp.’s NY Post. (A cynic might say the only two things those papers have in common are tabloid newsprint and the state of New York.) News Corp. probably would have a tough time acquiring the paper outright."


Janice Dickinson Does Howard Stern Show

(image via timeinc)

The dark and creepy Wichita-vortex-sutra that is the creepy Janice Dickinson blew into Howard Stern's Sirius radio show, leaving everything slightly oilier for having been in her contact. So far as we know there were no "bionic" sound effects, despite the fact that Dickinson is almost entirely reconstructed out of polymers. Of course, she talked about her Hollywood conquests and her shitty-little-show, but oh so conveniently skirted the issue of what actual Nip/Tucks she's undertaken (Hint: there may be some "tucking" inside her pants. According to Marksfriggin:

"Howard said that Janice has had sex with over 1000 guys and he's surprised that she's so uptight about talking about it. She did talk a little bit about Mick Jagger and his small penis. She said she was surprised at how small it actually was.

"Howard asked Janice about hanging out with John Belushi. She said that she did coke with that guy. Artie said that it's so hot that she used to do that stuff. Janice said that there was a lot of blow back in the 70s.

"... Janice talked more about Belushi and how much she misses him. She said that a lot of the guys she used to hang out with are dead now. She talked about banging Jack Nicholson and Warren Beatty when they still had hair. They were her idols and she got to sleep with them. Janice said that Jack Nicholson told her not to tell anyone that she had 'star cum' inside of her after having sex. She said that's the way guys treated her."

Oh, it's on, it's on like Gray Poupon! (image via cankaya)

"... Janice told Howard that Sylvester Stallone hated Howard back in the day. She said that he would go nuts when he'd hear the show. He hated that she loved the show. She was living with him at the time and went into an impression of him. She said that he wanted to marry her but she didn't want that. She didn't want to sleep with other women with him. Janice said that he wanted her to put all kinds of toys into her and she wasn't into that stuff.

"Janice said that Sylvester had hair plugs and they would fall out on the floor of the shower. (image via ReviewJournal)

"...Ralph called ... a short time later and got Janice talking about Mick Jagger again. She was saying that Mick used to date both men and women. Howard didn't want to get anyone in trouble so he asked her to take Keith Richard's name out of that conversation."

WHEW!! Janice Dickinson has left the building ... Janice Dickinson has left the building.
Swag Hags: Exposed

(image via movie666)

After listening to Senator Jim "Batshit" Webb's citric response to the SOTU, as well as Kurt Andersen's populist crie de coeur and the nut-brown Ken Auletta's recent "America Firstish" Lou Dobbs profile, we are all but embracing a general opprobrium at the overpriviledged tomfoolery of the very wealthy. Populism is the new black; eat the rich! Enter: Swagbags (Exaggerated cough suggesting feigned detachment). From those intrepid Page Sixxies:

"After pounding vodka-Red Bulls for three hours, Teri Hatcher 'walked off with $10,000 worth of swag,' said a source, including $3,000 worth of Lia Sophia jewelry, Dermalogica products and AG jeans. Winona Ryder sent her assistant to the Marquee gifting suite to collect an armful of Botkier handbags. Sources said Ryder didn't want to 'show face.'"

Those swag bags may be free ... Winona, but everything has a price.
Who Reads This Blog?

Every 9 months or so we ask the question: Who reads this blog? It really helps The Corsair know to whom we are speaking in the tones of, as reader described it, "a bored Earl." (Exaggerated cough suggesting feigned detachment) As we don't really get comments, I leave it up to you to volunteer whatever demographic information you might want to render unto Corsair (Like: Where are you from? What do you do?). If you have already emailed me in the past regarding this call to arms, we're cool.

The information will not be sold or given out to any third party (You paranoid little freaks). And, of course, it won't be posted; all emails will be regarded as private correspondence.

So: Who are you? What is this blog doing right? What is this blog doing wrong?

Speak now or forever hold your peace

Tuesday, January 23, 2007

Corsair Classic

Enter Taxman: Or, How Swaggotry Was Curtailed

(image via camcycle)

Sundance used to be a swaggot's dream. $100,000 gift bags, and whatnot (Exaggerated cough suggesting feigned detachment). No longer. Uncle Sam wants his cut of that sweet USDA-prime swag ass. If Swag Bags are celebrity doggie bags, then Uncle Sam is fiending for a fix of his dog yummy. And if Old Sammy doesn't get that goddam Milk Bone, he might just gnaw on some anorexicish starlet instead, because he's that kind of pooch. From Stuff

"Robert Redford chafes at the descent of what he calls 'ambush marketers' on the celebrities attending the Sundance Film Festival he founded as a showcase for independent film without all the commercial trappings of Hollywood.
But he may be encouraged by the latest trends in so-called "swag" on the sidelines of this year's event. Celebrity gift baskets, a phenomenon driven by companies' hopes that celebrities will be shown using their products, are becoming lighter and greener and just a bit more discreet.

"Stars at Sundance also have more opportunities to make donations to charity, from underwear for a local women's shelter to phone cards for soldiers.

"And who is playing the leading role in this new version of swag? None other than the tax man.

"Last year, months before the Academy Awards, the Internal Revenue Service launched a swag crackdown, putting Hollywood on notice that the $US100,000 goodie bags for Oscar participants - stuffed with Hawaiian hotel suites and surfing lessons - were not gifts but rather compensation and subject to taxes."
Davos Report, Day 2

(image via CNN)

Thank God here comes Davos to rescue us from that magnum of chloroform that is Sundance (Exafferated cough suggesting feigned detachment) . As we said: Sundance jumped the Shark last year. Nothing interesting appears to be going on there anymore. From David Rothkopf from Foreign Policy:

"Inevitably, a considerable component of this year's side meetings will focus on the following issues: the situation in Iraq, the fate of a unipolar world when the one superpower seems to be bent on self-destruction, the absence of Bill Clinton and Angelina Jolie (two of last year's stars), the absence of a big contingent from China and what that may portend about the future of Davos, the presence of a large delegation from India, what to wear to the Malaysian-themed black-tie gala, what top speakers like Angela Merkel, Tony Blair, Mahmoud Abbas, Bill Gates, Lakshmi Mittal, and others might say or not say, and—above all—on the deals large and small that will be cut in silence. Davos is mostly about what is not on the official program, not covered in the papers"

And the almond-eyed "money honey" Maria Bartiromo, who may or may not be having an affair with CitiGroup's former head of global wealth management, Todd Thomson. From Maria's interview with Swiss businessman, economist, and philanthropist Klaus Schwab for Businessweek:

"(Bartiromo:) Last year, India was a big focus, as was innovation. What will the hot topics be this year?

"(Schwab:) Priorities evolve during the meeting itself. But a general issue will be the changing power equation, which means that everywhere in society and business, the power is moving from the center to the periphery. Vertical command-and-control structures are being eroded and replaced by communities and different platforms. We are moving into the Web 2.0 world, and this has tremendous implications on the national level and on business models. Also, three countries could be in the limelight: Russia, because the whole issue of energy security is at the top of the agenda; Vietnam, which is a new preferred place of investment; and Mexico, with the new President coming. And even if we are moving more and more into a multi-country world, the U.S. is the still the key actor. We will have a delegation of 12 senators, and [issues will be] the sustainability of U.S. economic growth and the risk of the falling dollar."

There are far fewer celebrities this year than in years past. Even Arnold Schwazenegger won't be attending. His broken leg caused him to pull out of his scheduled talk on "climate related issues," reports Mark Landler of the International herald Tribune. The themes will be Al Gore-ish -- the environment, Web 2.0, and the paradigm shift, as Klaus Schwab puts it to Landler, "from the center to the periphery."

Arianna Huffington, new to Davos Blogging, says in HuffPo: "Davos (or DavOHs, as they say it here) officially starts Wednesday morning, but I had my first Davos Moment Tuesday night, walking in to the Hotel Seehof. After making it though the security phalanx, I spotted at one and the same time a sign saying 'Bloggers Nightcap' (a late-night gathering of all the bloggers who are here from around the world), and Klaus Schwab -- the Swiss professor who created the World Economic Forum 36 years ago.

"'This is historic,' he told me. 'Opening up Davos to the blogosphere at the very moment when our world is increasingly schizophrenic: on the surface a lot is going well, but just beneath the surface, there is a lot trouble, including global warming and the crises in the Middle East. I'm not a pessimist, but there is a danger things will end up very badly if we don't take the right actions.'

"Inside the wood-paneled, candlelit room, we found ourselves hugging each other like long lost friends.

"Then, Ben Hammersley, who created The Guardian's Comment is Free, said only half-jokingly, 'If we're doing it from Davos, blogging is officially over.' I countered that it was just the beginning of the next blogging explosion. 'Today Davos, tomorrow the Bohemian Grove. I can't wait until someone is videoblogging Henry Kissinger running naked in the woods.'"

Oh God, please NO!
Note To Hilary: Do SNL

Granted, we are chock full of advice to celebrities this week. First, we told Eddie Murphy to do SNL, then we advised the writers of "Grey's Anatomy" to write Isaiah Washington's character gay. Now, full of oats, we want Senator Clinton to do host SNL.

It is a natural fit. Seth Meyers as Head Writer has made the "lean and mean" SNL as culturally relevant as it was in the days Chevy Chase was tripping over himself (For further reference see the lovely Rachel Sklar's brilliant profile of the new SNL). Amy Poehler's devastating impression last week set us this week's volley of attacks on the Senator's -- how does one say it -- Calculatedness.

This may or may not work in her favor. Certainly, the main campaign theme of Clinton 2008 will be "Effectiveness," as opposed to McCain's "Character." This is, of course, a variation of the time honored battle between the Red-state's emphasis on Virtue (Religion, Righteousness, Manliness) as opposed to the Blue-states emphasis on Sophistication (Travel, Education, Taste). Hilary's "calculated" demeanor plays well onto the idea of her policy wonkiness in a Chaotic World Order, managed, incompetently, by the Previous -- Republican -- Administration. We commend Senator Clinton for leading her campaign on the contentious issue of Health Care, where she flamed out at the beginning of Clinton's First Administration (Next time bring Moynihan on board); we fault her -- slightly -- on making the announcement at the Hell's Kitchen "Chelsea-Clinton" Community health center, which is too claculating by a half.

Granted, these attacks on her calculated nature are coming from far-right precincts. But make no doubt about it, they will continue. Mercilessly. And the Primary Law of Politics is that a lie, uttered often enough, ultimately, in a Democracy, becomes Conventional Wisdom. Whether or not Hilary Clinton is "Calculated," by the end of her race for 2008 she will be perceived conventionally as Calculated.

That's why a zany SNL appearance -- a la Giuliani in drag at the 2000 Mayor's Inner Circle Roast -- will defang that charge. Especially if she gets on a viral SNL Digital short.

The image of Hilary as calculated is deadly against Barack Obama, who is the epitome of Charismatic. And SNL appearance in which the senator lets her hair down and riffs with Amy Poehler would go miles in softening her image. Miles more than wearing pink and baking cookies.
Resolved: Write Isaiah Washington's Character Gay

(image via graysanatomyinsider)

Some respectable netizens want Isaiah Washington fired; some want him to keep his job. This can't be an easy one for the show's creator and Executive Producer, Shonda Rhimes. One thing is for certain, By having Isaiah Washington making the obligatory rounds to GLAAD, the situation is not changing beyond the cosmetic surface. Sure, Washington may hear -- up close and personal -- how offensive it was to particular people use the F word in the context in which he used it, but does that really change the contents of his heart? Quite the contrary. It's like making racist cops attend PC-ish bullshit like "racial sensitivity training." Nothing changes, they only learn how to smile and eat shit for a half a dozen Saturday afternoons while silently abhoring the experience. It only drives the bigotry deeper, beneath the prying eyes of their superiors.

No, to really affect a change in Isaiah Washington's reptilian heart conditions would have to be such that he would have to walk a mile in the moccasins of, say, a gay man. So, why don't the writers of the show do so?

This is a win-win from so many angles. For one, it is a learning experience for Washington. Also, it would be a compelling "Reality" show of sorts. Third, it cannot fail to recuscitate the flagging ratings.

It is not an incommensurable plot line. One, Dr. Preston Burke -- the character played by Washington -- is a great cook. Two, he is, inarguably, metrosexual. And three, his volatile "romance" with Dr. Christina Yang could be explained by his growing attraction to men and his inability to articulate it .. until now.

Write Isaiah Washington gay,a nd let's see what he does with it. Otherwise, The Corsair can't see any other rational course of action other than firing him.

Monday, January 22, 2007

2007 State of the Union Drinking Game

(image via dkospedia)

It's that time again! The SOTU from -- who else? -- POTUS! Combine your drinking with some thinking! But with the President at an abysmal approval rating of 31 percent, and with 70 percent disapproving of his handling of the War in iraq, well, you might want to play this State of the Union Drinking Game with -- how does one say it? -- Bushmills; pun intended.
These games are mostly about getting drunk, with a side order of How Predictable Politics HJas Become. Let's see how right -- or wrong -- we are.

Here are the rules:

Small sip if ...

--There is a close-up shot of Hillary Clinton, stiffly observing.
--There is a close-up of Barack Obama, beatifically smiling (not unlike a Venetian choirboy)
--The President goes in for the "Laundry List Option," AKA POTUS' Prerogative
--The President congratulates the Democrats.

1 Drink If ...

--The President mentions the environment, or the expansion of health insurance.
--The President mentions "cooperation," or, "bipartisan," "looking forward to working with the Democrats," or any variation thereof.
--Nancy Pelosi scowls

2 Drinks If ...

--Senator Chris Dodd looks downright goofy.
-- Senator John McCain has a discernible orgasm during the course of the address.

Do a Shot If ...

--Dick Cheney looks infinitely constipated by his proximity to Pelosi.

2 Shots If ..

--The President mentions Grand Ayatollah Hossein Ali Montazeri
--The President mentions "Sadaam Hussein," and" Justice"

And, finally: Chug If ...

--The President gets a prolonged standing ovation from both sides of the aisle. (Yeah, ri-i-ight; like THATS going to happen)
Picture Pages, Picture Pages ...

You think you've got problems? P Diddy just tried to make me into a pair of chinos! (image via REUTERS)

Putin calculates the fastest way to ditch his personal stash of Polonium-210 into the fireplace before Angela Merkel and that confounded "Rexie the Wonder Dog" catch wind. (image via REUTERS)

In the geopolitical great game that is natural energy brinkmanship, It aint Over till the fat Labrador sings. (image via REUTERS)

As the Russian President struggles to maintain his sangfroid, Rexie the Autocrat Sniffing Dog narrows in on his quarry. (image via REUTERS)

Putin blames a particularly despicable vodka-feuled "Natural gas emission" on Rexie, the Russian Wonder-Dog. (image via REUTERS)
Resolved: David Geffen is an Honorary Black Man

(image via fishbowlla)

Is Los Angeles powerplayer David Geffen really a -- how does one say it? -- brother undercover? We ask this because of the long-delayed "Dreamgirls," the seminal African-American -- and, for that matter, everyone else -- Musical Extravaganza of the Year, has been his pet project for as long as anyone can remember. Geffen's commitment to recuscitating Edie Murphy's career and launching Jennifer Hudson into the stratosphere from her dismal job at Disney cruises can only be properly construed as ... very black of him. Says Goldderby:

"Hollywood media mogul David Geffen tells the Wall Street Journal that producing the film version of 'Dreamgirls,' the musical he brought to Broadway 25 years ago, will mark the end of his career as a filmmaker. 'This closes a chapter for me,' he insists. 'I'm finished with the movie business.'

He donates millions to historically black colleges.

And then there are the curious similarities between Don Cheadle and David Geffen. Has anyone actually ever seen those two in the same room at the same time?

Whatever the case, Resolved: David Geffen is an Honorary African-American. He can collect his ghetto pass at the door.
Dick Parsons is on Team Hillary

(image via kleincreative)

Fuck all this Aniston-Brangelina bullshit, yo: That's some ill 2006 shit. Seriously. It's all about Team Obama and Team Hillary right about now. Time Warner overlord Dick Parsons made a Kierkegaardian leap towards his home Senator in the Obama-Clinton existential crisis that is presently afflicting media moguls. From Cindy Adams, "African-American CEO Dick Parsons on African-American candidate Barack Obama: 'Great guy, but he won't beat Hillary in a primary.'"

Tell that to fellow media mogul David Geffen.
Separated at Birth?

Iraqi murder chronicler, John Burns. (image via americanradioworks)

Wacky murderer-producer, Phil Spector. (image via readingeagle)

Saturday, January 20, 2007

Idi Amin: Close Up

We feel nothing but hatred for this man who killed so much of The Corsair's family.

Note, in passing, how accurately Forest Whitaker played him.
Bill O'reilly on Colbert

Arsenio to Eddie Murphy: Host SNL

(image via rotten)

Why hasn't Eddie Murphy hosted SNL recently. He is an alum in good standing; he has a film out presently and is in contention for a Best Supporting Oscar nod; he could certainly use the buzz of an Adam Samburgian "Dick in a Box" out of the park home-run (That's what made Timberlake cool again). Entertainment Weekly writes:

"Murphy plays R&B singer James 'Thunder' Early, a dynamic, innovative soul belter who, despite his powerful voice and charismatic presence, has never managed to achieve the fame and respect he feels he deserves. As he watches other artists ride his style to glory, bitterness consumes him. From Early's electrifying stage show to his offstage womanizing to his eventual drug-fueled breakdown, Murphy delivers a performance by turns fiery and wounded, triumphant and tragic — essentially, taking the spot-on James Brown impression he did years ago on Saturday Night Live and wringing out the laughs to reveal the underlying pain.

"The idea of Murphy turning in such an award-worthy dramatic performance initially invited skepticism. ''I didn't know the late-night comics were doing jokes,'' Murphy told reporters backstage after his Golden Globes win, when asked about late-night hosts poking fun at his surprising Oscar buzz. ''Have I become that uncool?''"

He had; trust us, he had. To illustrate the point -- from Entertainment Weekly:

"By 1995, following duds like The Distinguished Gentleman and Vampire in Brooklyn, Murphy's popularity had sunk so low, he was mocked on his old show, Saturday Night Live. During 'Spade in America,' a photo of Murphy appeared on the screen as David Spade said snarkily, 'Look, children, it's a falling star! Make a wish!'

The pendulum swings. So -- Why hasn't Eddie walked back into the warm embrace of Lorne Michaels? It's not, according to EW, for lack of his friends' advice:

"But what does Murphy himself want? If he finally receives the validation he feels he was owed long ago, what then? Murphy's next film, Norbit, which opens next month, sticks to his successful formula of playing multiple roles — a nerdy, henpecked husband, his overbearing, obese wife, and a Chinese man — in a broad comedy. After that, he is signed on to star in a fish-out-of-water comedy called Starship Dave, and plans were recently announced for a fourth Beverly Hills Cop installment, neither of which suggests a bold new direction. Murphy has flirted with the idea of returning to the stage to do stand-up again, something friends and fellow comics have been urging him to do for years. But at this point, the prospect apparently seems too daunting. 'We've gone to clubs and sat there, night after night,' says (Arsenio) Hall. 'One day, I said, 'Here's a brilliant idea: You host Saturday Night Live, do five minutes of stand-up, do the sketches, and that's how you get to feel it again. If you returned to SNL just once — oh, motherf---er!' He was like, 'I'll think about it.' That means, 'Don't ask me no more.'''

We agree with Arsenio, Eddie: Host SNL and insist on a digital short with Samburg and get into as many sketches with Amy Poehler as possible. he full interview in Entertainment Weekly