Monday, January 22, 2007

2007 State of the Union Drinking Game

(image via dkospedia)

It's that time again! The SOTU from -- who else? -- POTUS! Combine your drinking with some thinking! But with the President at an abysmal approval rating of 31 percent, and with 70 percent disapproving of his handling of the War in iraq, well, you might want to play this State of the Union Drinking Game with -- how does one say it? -- Bushmills; pun intended.
These games are mostly about getting drunk, with a side order of How Predictable Politics HJas Become. Let's see how right -- or wrong -- we are.

Here are the rules:

Small sip if ...

--There is a close-up shot of Hillary Clinton, stiffly observing.
--There is a close-up of Barack Obama, beatifically smiling (not unlike a Venetian choirboy)
--The President goes in for the "Laundry List Option," AKA POTUS' Prerogative
--The President congratulates the Democrats.

1 Drink If ...

--The President mentions the environment, or the expansion of health insurance.
--The President mentions "cooperation," or, "bipartisan," "looking forward to working with the Democrats," or any variation thereof.
--Nancy Pelosi scowls

2 Drinks If ...

--Senator Chris Dodd looks downright goofy.
-- Senator John McCain has a discernible orgasm during the course of the address.

Do a Shot If ...

--Dick Cheney looks infinitely constipated by his proximity to Pelosi.

2 Shots If ..

--The President mentions Grand Ayatollah Hossein Ali Montazeri
--The President mentions "Sadaam Hussein," and" Justice"

And, finally: Chug If ...

--The President gets a prolonged standing ovation from both sides of the aisle. (Yeah, ri-i-ight; like THATS going to happen)

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