Thursday, January 25, 2007

Why is Jared Leto Such a Man-Bitch?

Jennifer onnely wants her look back, asshole. (image via

Jared Let's obnoxious "guyliner" rankles. The multiple starlet conquests are calculated to rasp. The shitty band with the shitty name
boggles the imagination. His attitude towards his fans leaves something to be desired. His celebrated "Beef Cheeks"... oh, let's not go there, shall we?

There are a host of reasons why anyone wouldn't want to lay a stiff whipsmack across Jared Leto's supine lips, and then, with a studied insouciance, return volley with a ruthless and unexpected BACKHAND, just to even things out geometrically (Exaggerated cough suggesting feigned detachment). Nah mean? From Dose:

"Remember when Jared Leto was downright dreamy, pouting his way into our hearts as the brooding, illiterate (yet oh-so adorable) Jordan Catalano on ABC's My So-Called Life? Yeah, us neither. The former heartthrob-turned-crappy-emo-rocker has all but erased our fond memories with his recent petulant streak, which was on full display at that year's Sundance Film Festival.

"In town to promote his new flick, Chapter 27, Leto picked fights with the paparazzi and fellow club-goers in the VIP section of Tao nightclub on Saturday night, reports the New York Post's Page Six. The eyeliner-obsessed 'star' shouted at photographers before getting into a screaming match with another club patron.

"'[Leto] whipped off his hat with earflaps on and stepped up to the guy,' a source tells Page Six. 'They were yelling at each other.'

"The greasy actor also made a scene when he heard a rumour that Justin Timberlake, who also dated Leto's ex, Cameron Diaz, was planning a surprise performance at Tao, reports the New York Daily News.

'"Jared flipped out,' a witness tells the newspaper. 'He literally freaked out and left the party.'"

And now this, from something called Starpulse:

"Jared Leto attacked Elijah Wood at an awards show last year because the star had told friends he didn't like Leto's band. The 26-year-old star was attending the MTVU Woodie Awards in November when Leto, who is the lead singer of cult act 30 Seconds To Mars, approached his table.

"Leto came over, whispered in Wood's ear and walked away, but then turned around, grabbed him by the throat and called him a 'f** a**hole.'

"Wood tells Jane magazine, 'He was basically upset at the fact that I said I didn't like his band. He said that initially and walked away. I guess he thought I was laughing at him, but I was more shell-shocked and telling people around me, 'Whoa, I just got told off by Jared Leto for not liking his band.' And that's when he came back and grabbed me.'

"He adds, 'I told Jared it wasn't personal. He acted like I'd been disrespecting him or speaking about his family. Things like that don't usually happen to me. I'm very non-confrontational. The whole thing was kind of ridiculous.'"

Jared leto is kind of like Eminem that way. He's threatening to Elijah Wood, who weighs 85 lbs soaking wet (Like Eminem's archnemesis Moby), but pussies out majorly at the possibility of a spot of the "Rough-Rough" with-- of all people -- Justin Timberlake.

Please try and choke The Corsair, Jared Leto. PLEASE TRY AND CHOKE US. We will straddle you and BEAT YOUR ASS thoroughly with crisp right crosses interspersed with shots to the "chops". It will be for you, we cannot fail to note, a spiritually cleansing and a uniquely tailored learning experience through the agonies of suffering.


Bubbles, Ink. said...

Oh please, leave a bit of a leftover for us. We specialize in kicking a man when he's down, Jimmy Conway-stylee

Ron said...

Even Joe Pesci left Deniro some kicking and maneuvering room.

Anonymous said...

haha, damn buddy... you sound a little jealous!
you can't act.. can't make music.. prolly can't meet women.. don't curl up with your jealousy & envy.. just get out more. maybe a haircut.