Tuesday, January 11, 2005

Victoria: "(John Gotti) Was One of the First Metrosexuals"

The February 2004 Vanity Fair (which, incidentally, arguably has a person of color -- or at least a person in a costume of color -- on its cover is Darth Vader) elects to tickle our fancy with a rather "intense" interview with one Victoria Gotti, conducted by none other than humpy celebrity interviewer George Wayne, or, "GW," as he likes to call himself.

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(Image via NYSocialDiary)

Perhaps his constant contact with the Karl Lagerfeld's of the world while on The Continent has contributed to his lack of proper respect for The Don's daughter. Whatever the case, "GW" goes where The Corsair wouldn't go -- with all due respect -- in his interview:

"George Wayne: It seems as if Victoria Gotti will never be allowed to be a single mom raising her kids.

"Victoria Gotti: Right.

"George Wayne: Albeit as obnoxious as they are."

(The Corsair shudders) Right there you get the general tenor of this interview. Bad intentions. Where is this going? It is an unpleasant affair. Sure, we agree entirely with GW (no disrespect intended) on the general obnoxiousness of the Gotti brood (no disrespect intended), but we don't have Vanity Fair-Page Six-like immunity, so we keep our mouths shut. And we are much too pretty to wash up on the Jersey Shore along with the medical waste. Gotti etiquette requires that if any untoward or "perceived to be untoward" or even "quite possibly perceived to be untoward" remark are directed to Mrs. Gotti, one tacks on the obligatory, "no disrespect intended." Failure to comply may result in death. Violent death. Oceanic, cement foot apparreled violent death.

One wonders at what point the Pesci-like Wiseguy with the clever sobriquet "Icepick Paulie," or "Vito Corkscrew" comes out of the foyer and strangles GW a la Lou Cabrazzi with dental floss, leaving a hapless Graydon Carter to find another original voice for the magazine. But it never happens. GW still liveth. And, in living, kicks things up a notch, to disturbing levels:

"GW: Where do you get your waxing done?"

Okay, we admit it, we are jaded. We have wined and dined with kings and queens, and we have lain in the gutter eating pork and beans; in our 33 years on this strange planet, we would never think, ever, of asking Victoria Gotti -- or, quite frankly, any woman -- where she does her waxing. We love the mystery of women and how they smell so pretty. But, Victoria actually answers:

"VG: I'm too embarrassed to get it done in some public place, so I have one of my girlfriends come to my house and do it. I always feel like somebody is watching, you know, hidden cameras and all that, so I don't get stuff like that done in public."

Fair enough. Perverse as it is that the Gotti friendship implies "Brazilian Bikini Waxing Wednesdays," government surveillance probably is a big Gotti issue, to be sure. No disrespect intended with that, of course:

"GW: Is that just inherent paranoia?

"VG: No, I'm just old fashioned.

"GW: And high maintenance, what with that flaxen horsehair of yours."

Whoawhoawhoa. Did GW just call Victoria Gotti's mane horsehair? Allow me to get out of the line of fire before "busting caps":

"GW: ... Is (Victoria Gotti) more mafia princess passing herself off as a serious journalist?

(The Corsair puts on a Ugandan ceremonial mask and quietly blends in with the scenery) The man has balls ... clearly; later:

"GW: In GW's estimation John Gotti was not only an icon in certain circles but also one of the world's first metrosexuals. He was the epitome of swagger and masculinity, yet he loved his mani's, his pedi's, his facials, the custom-made suits.

"Victoria Gotti: I never looked at it that way, but when I think of it, you are right. (John Gotti) was one of the first metrosexuals. His appearance meant a lot to him. He was very anal about everything, from personal hygiene to the clothes he wore. I loved watching him choose outfits every day. He had a huge walk-in closet and everything was lined up so neatly. And everything was color-coordinated."


Anonymous said...

Somebody's gonna get whac... err... have an accident where their head falls onto a baseball bat thirteen or fourteen times...

Yeah, an accident.

Margaret said...

GW is a marked man...it's only a matter of time before he beats his head against some dude's Italian made steel toe loafers.

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