In: Pole Dancing. We always thought that there was something vaguely "pretty girlish" about Jude Law. He just has a touch of the bitch about him. Just a touch. But then he got "affianced" to Sienna Miller, so we thought, okay so he uses the peach moisturizer (Averted Gaze). So what. A lot of Wall Street guys do that too. But do they have as fine a bone structure?
But we digress. Now ... we're not so sure about him, because according to Hello!Magazine:
"Sienna Miller's leading man appears to be on more seductive form than ever, having taken up pole-dancing. British heart-throb Jude Law has confessed that he and his Closer co-star Clive Owen have both attended classes in the sexy dance form.
"The two actors apparently caught the bug while working on the new flick with American star Natalie Portman. The actress had signed up for lessons in order to prepare for her role as stripper Alice, and when the two English hunks saw her strutting her stuff, they couldn't resist having a go. 'We both had pole-dancing lessons,' revealed Jude. 'It's the de-rigeur style of exercise now in London. It's very good for the upper thigh and the deltoid.'"
We could ask him for a table dance. Or demand it roughly, tousling his highlift blonde tinted coiff in the process. Tossing a crumpled, sweaty twenty his way is a definite possibility.
But there would be no joy (The Corsair sips from a pimp cup filled with 1978 Chateau Mouton Rothschild, after spilling a ceremonial dab on the ground, "for the dead homiez"). It would be far too easy. And The Corsair likes his prey to put up a fight.
Out: Prince Harry. Britain is a very strange kettle of fish indeed. British intellectuals will proudly and entirely without shame defend their former empire and the very concept of Imperium. As The Corsair continues to read Tacitus' Annals of the Roman Empire Book 3, the sheer obtusity and disgustingness of such an "arrangement" (exaggerated cough suggesting feigned detachment) between colony and colonial reveals itself. And yet Britain looks upon those days with nostalgia!
Racist jokes that would make one a social pariah in the United States are told boldly on television. And then there's Princess Michael of Kent. And the historical royal connection to Nazism.
Prince Harry, third in line to the British throne, in the Nazi uniform went way too far in his bid for some attention. Harry has always been a bit ... aggro, but did he really think he'd escape media attention? Was there some subterranean subconscious desire at play in which Harry wanted to get caught so that he could be punished? The London News Review defends the royal by saying, basically, that he was too stupid to know better:
"Prince Harry is sensationally stupid. Seriously, the lad is practically retarded, so its appropriate to cut him some slack. Its a small miracle every time he finds his mouth with his cigarette, so the fact that he would put on a Nazi armband and not think - at any point - that this might possibly be a really really wrong thing to do, is perfectly understandable. Questions must be asked of the people around him: his friends, his careers, his bodyguards. Did no one think to mention to the dribbling moron that maybe the pretty red armband with the funny black squiggle in the middle was maybe best left in the limo? Would you blame a coma victim for wetting the bed? No. So dont be too harsh on Harry."
In: Plum Sykes, Affianced. Everybody's getting affianced. It's gonna be an affianced night for the Bergdorf Blonde. According to Fashionweekdaily:
"... (A)nother well-coiffed and well-mannered social darling about town is generating the real buzz in New York and London. Plum Sykes, author, Vogue editor and much-photographed fashion plate, has finally become engaged to her boyfriend, Toby Roland. The two, who have been dating for about a year now, recently leaked the news to close friends. The couple even shares a similar history she went through a high-profile break up with then boyfriend and artist, Damien Loeb, and Roland reportedly was engaged as well but called off his wedding at the eleventh hour. But unlike some other celebrity weddings - i.e. Star Jones and The Melania's much-publicized media blitzes - the brunette Sykes sister remains mum about the details surrounding her elegant engagement."
Aaron Gell's review of Plum Sykes' Bergdorf Blondes, from the April 2004 W is remarkable for the purity of its snark:
"Fashionista-cum-muckraker Plum Sykes, who apparently spent years researching her novel Bergdorf Blondes (Miramax Books) by going deep undercover as a glamorous It Girl. The story is told in the voice of a shallow, narcissistic features writer for a major fashion magazine -- a voice Sykes nails with uncanny verisimilitude. Unfortunately, while she name drops all the requisite labels, like the crack fashion caption writer that she once was, the plot she hangs them on is thinner than a Louboutin heel, and nowhere near as sturdy. It centers on the breakup of the heroines' engagement (her moody beau is said to be a stand-in for Sykes' former fiance, Damian Loeb) and her subsequent quest for another PH (prospective husband) who has his very own PJ (private jet)."
Out: Dado Ruspoli. Not "out" uncool out, but more "shuffling off this mortal coil out" is Dado Ruspoli, who recently died. According to The Telegraph:
"Italy's aristocracy was last night mourning the death of Dado Ruspoli, the playboy prince and wayward Renaissance Man of its post-war Dolce Vita era.
"And yet, in a grand gesture that the prince himself would have appreciated, his family is going ahead with plans to throw a lavish party for 600 people in his honour at his palace in Rome tonight only hours after his funeral service.
"The evening, which Prince Ruspoli and his wife, Patricia, had intended to host together, will feature a ballet troupe performing to music by Bach and Vivaldi."
What? No Couperin? (Averted Gaze) Peasants!
"Virtually the whole of the capital's high society, plus a sprinkling of foreign royalty and nobility, is expected to turn out for the occasion to be held opposite the venue of his funeral at noon today, the church of San Lorenzo in Lucina.
"The prince, head of one of Rome's greatest families to be elevated to the 'black' nobility by the Vatican, would have relished the juxtaposition of his funeral Mass and the glamorous social event.
"... A poet, painter, photographer and traveler, he also became a sometime film actor, and among his roles had a small part in The Godfather, Part III.
"He was an expert on yoga and an authority on other aspects of the Orient, including transcendentalism and opium and other drugs.
"He sported three eastern tattoos on his arms, a souvenir from Laos.
"Once remembered by his friend Taki, the diary columnist, as the 'best looking man of his time' and being 'hooked on opium,' Dado was notorious both for his wayward lifestyle, and as a womaniser. But neither label did him justice.
"His easy-going hedonism, especially when indulged on the island of Capri, inspired one film and probably helped set the scene for another, Federico Fellini's La Dolce Vita, about the so-called sweet life.
"A favourite of the gossip columns, the prince also won eternal fame by being photographed strolling around Capri barefoot, with an injured raven that he had rescued perched like a pirate's parrot on his shoulder."
RIP, Dado, you sounded like my kind of guy.
In: Nicolette Sheridan. This story is just so weird, so head-scratching odd, that we had to print it, if only so that one of you might explain it to us -- from The Dish:
"The 'Desperate Housewives' star has been struck down with the ailment for more than a week, and she blames it on her ignorance about her 12-week-old golden retriever Oliver's swimming abilities -- and the fact she was cleaning her home in the nude.
"After returning from a Christmas trip to Aspen, Colo., Sheridan cleaned off the puppy in her swimming pool after he got himself dirty in a rose pot -- and her actions gave the pooch new ideas on causing mischief.
"She says, 'The next thing you know, he goes outside and he's right back in that pool again. Now I think he's drowning! I run naked into the cold pool.
"'I was cleaning [my house] naked. It's [a normal thing to do] when I'm feverish ... So I saved the dog, but little did I know at 12 weeks old they can swim.
"'But you know what, I'll fall for all of his tricks because I'm madly in love with him.'"
Freak!
Out: Denny Farrell. We love Fred Dicker, easily the best political reporter covering New York state politics. From Newsday (link via Romenesko):
"State Democratic Chairman Herman Farrell made an impromptu appearance on a radio talk show Wednesday to heatedly berate its host over a news story about the impending birth of a child to the party leader's girlfriend.The host of the show on WROW-AM in Albany is Fred Dicker, the New York Post's state editor.
"'I just came in to let your radio listeners know what a piece of slime that you are,' Farrell declared in the Post's state Capitol office where Dicker was broadcasting his morning show.
"'You're a bully.' Dicker defended his handling of the story and at one point took the microphone from Farrell and told him: "You're the head of the Democratic Party and you're acting like some street character. Obviously, you're a little bit out of control here, Mr. Farrell.'"
In: Laundry Spa. My brother Fred at Laundry Spa is running a contest for all the budding indie directors out there:
"Hey New Yorkers, think you have what it takes to make a TV commercial? If your answer is yes, The Laundry Spa is looking for budding talents like you to create its very first TV commercial.
"If your commercial is selected, youll win $1000 dollars and the chance to have it aired! How to Enter? Just shoot an original TV commercial and send it to us at:
"The Laundry Spa Commercial Contest
c/o The Laundry Spa
47-09 30th Street
Long Island City, NY 11101
"Be sure to include your full name, address, email address and daytime telephone number. What are the criteria for your commercial? - It must be 30 seconds in length. - It must be reproduced and sent over on VHS tape, CD or DVD. - It must be submitted by February 28th, 2005. - It must mention The Laundry Spa. The official contest rules are located here."
Good luck! Make The Corsair proud.
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