In:The Death of JLo. (Sotto Voce) Speak no more of JLo -- nevermore -- for JLo is no more (The Corsair faraway gazing out into the red-bronze sunset). She is now ... "Jennifer," not the unfortunate collabo, "Bennifer," or, "Jenny from the Block," just ... "Jennifer (The Corsair lights up a Macanudo Robust Baron de Rothschild)," according to femaleFirst:
"Jennifer Lopez is so sick of her 'J.Lo' image she wanted to call her new album 'Call Me Jennifer'.
"The star says she was so desperate to ditch her J.Lo alter-ego - and the diva reputation that came with it - she felt the straightforward album title was the only way to propel the 'real' Jennifer into the spotlight.
"The sexy singer, who was eventually persuaded to call her new album 'Rebirth', revealed to Britain's Night and Day magazine: I'm not J.Lo. She's not a real person."
(The Corsair raises a single eyebrow archly) We knew it! (The Corsair pounces on and peels synthetic skin off the ass cheek of an old JLo model, revealing ... a disturbing electronic control module) -- a fembot!
"She was just a bit of fun that got really crazy. I've never been anyone but Jennifer.
"I was going to call the album 'Call Me Jennifer' because that would be my way of saying goodbye to the whole J.Lo thing. But Rebirth is perfect because it means so much more."
Out: The Sirius-Microsoft Deal. We read this rather disturbing article on Forbes (link via iwantmedia), which freaks us that much more out about crossing the streets during rush hour in Midtown Manhattan, aka, No Man's Land:
"Sirius Satellite Radio already enjoying a diversity of deals with EchoStar Communications and General Electric heralded another key partner on Wednesday: Microsoft. Bill Gates' colossus will let Sirius use its media software to add video to its premium radio service next year."
Mel (The Corsair does a shot of Grappa) , we're all glad that you are back on the media radar and all. We really are. The Corsair is particularly excited about satellite radio, but -- slow down. Think things through. Every deal that increases stock value is not the best deal. Putting fucking video and radio streaming in cars may not be the safest thing vis-a-vis the point of view of the pedestrian!
In: Who Will Control the Digital Living Room? My old boss Jason Calacanis has been doing a good job covering the CES show, and the underlying question of the conference, "Who will control the digital living room in the future"? Right now, Microsoft is the most aggressive in the space, but even Bill Gates is not immune to hazard (AP):
" In his seventh annual keynote speech at the annual International Consumer Electronics Show, Microsoft's chairman explained that the proliferation of broadband Internet access and the falling price of data storage are compelling people to put music, photos, movies and other aspects of their life into a digital format.
"'We predicted at the beginning of this decade that this would be a decade where the digital approach would be taken for granted,' Gates told hundreds of technologists who gathered for his kickoff to the world's largest electronics show. 'It's going even faster than we expected.'
"But while promoting what he calls the 'digital lifestyle,' Gates showed how vulnerable all consumers � even the world's richest man � are to hardware and software bugs.
"During a demonstration of digital photography with a soon-to-be-released Nikon camera, a Windows Media Center PC froze and wouldn't respond to Gates' pushing of the remote control.
Later in the 90-minute presentation, a product manager demonstrated the ostensible user-friendliness of a video game expected to hit retail stores in April, Forza Motor Sport. But instead of configuring a custom-designed race car, the computer monitor displayed the dreaded 'blue screen of death' and warned, 'out of system memory.'
"The errors � which came during what's usually an ode to Microsoft's dominance of the software industry and its increasing control of consumer electronics � prompted the celebrity host, NBC comedian Conan O'Brien, to quip, 'Who's in charge of Microsoft, anyway?'"
The fembots.
Out: Franz Ferdiand. According to the 3AM Girls, the band encouraged Sir Elton -- and they shouldn't have -- to be bad, who, of late, has been very wild:
"When NME invited celebs to phone in with questions for Scots rockers Franz Ferdinand, they didn't expect the callers to be quite so cheeky - or so rude.
"Proving that he is the oldest schoolboy in pop, Sir Elton John demanded to know, 'Who has the biggest kn*b?'
"But that didn't throw frontman Alex Kapranos, who replied, 'By legend it's Paul Thomson... Maybe we should just nip to the bogs and you can measure us up."
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