A Little of the Old In and Out

In: Hilary Swank. Shadenfreude, as with all German compound words expressing the complex brew of fin-de-siecle/turn-of-millennium angst can become colossally tiresome, overdone, and, sometimes (The Corsair holds his head in world weariness), in the quiet of our souls, we just , you know, just once, want to like a rich, laurelled celebrity and think -- hey -- maybe this one's a real cool person, so what if they have all that success, the money turn them into assholes, so, maybe they deserve it; this is, mirabile dictu, one of those moments; According to that significant cultural artifact, The National Enquirer:

"Hilary Swank, fresh from her acclaimed role as a boxer in 'Million Dollar Baby.' ... who'd finished a workout, was exiting the trendy Crunch gym in Hollywood when she noticed a guy pestering a pretty girl for her phone number.

"The girl rebuffed the creep, who suddenly got verbally abusive -- then grabbed her by the arm! That's when Hilary jumped in and ordered him to back away from the frightened girl.

'Yeah and what are you gonna do about it?' the guy retorted. Snarled Hilary: 'I'm warning you, BACK OFF!' At the elevator to the parking lot, Loser Boy tried to enter with the two women, but Hilary -- who gained 19 pounds of muscle during her intensive 'Million Dollar' training -- fiercely pushed him away from the doors, which closed before he could recover.

"Hilary even walked the girl to her car to make sure she got away safely."

Brava. Now, back to the snark ...

Out: Kate Bosworth and Orlando Bloom. There's nothing wrong with Kate Bosworth that a robust multivitamin and some pasta couldn't aright properly; and, ancillary to that, there's nothing wrong with Orlando Bloom that -- say -- a personality, some manliness and a raffish dash of charisma might enhance, bring into being, make less plastic. In other words, they were made for each other; each one's vacuity complimenting the others mediocrity. Alas, just when we come to that realization, Ananova writes:

"Orlando Bloom has reportedly split from girlfriend Kate Bosworth.

"The 21-year-old actress called off her relationship with the 27-year-old Lord Of The Rings star, claims the Daily Star.

An insider told the paper: 'Kate gets lonely without him so she thought it was time they should call it a day.'

"'Orlando Bloom has reportedly split from girlfriend Kate Bosworth.

"The 21-year-old actress called off her relationship with the 27-year-old Lord Of The Rings star, claims the Daily Star.

"An insider told the paper: 'Kate gets lonely without him so she thought it was time they should call it a day.'"

We wouldn't entertain the possibility that this has anything to do with Bloom canoodling in Dubai with a mystery blonde. Never. Ever. Maybe?

In: Diggs Dynamite. Our favorite publicist, the beautiful Ivy Supersonic, who has a thing for bad boys, and is usually ahead of the emerging trend curve, interested us with her enthusiasm over one Diggs Dynamite, a bad boy to be sure, but who has a new album out, and who, according to his press release, "... resides in the London Ohio Correctional Facility."

Charmed, I'm sure; that's what we thought ab initio; but then The Corsair read on, intrigued -- how does a convict acquire a publicist of Ivy's calibre unless he's suffused with the "good stuff," worthy of our pals attention, whose hard-edged taste we admire:

" ... All song lyrics written, produced & recorded by DIGGS DYNAMITE from the joint. He has written over 100 songs during his 5+ year stay for some controversial and destructive choices he's made; drug possession & robbing the drug dealer."

"Dynamites gonna blow S**t up!" said Ivy via text message to me this afternoon, blazing with excitement. Ivy's hoping to cause music industry explosion Droppin' Dynamite, "starting the new year off with a bang!" All 19 tracks on his demo From The Trenches of London, were recorded "on the inside" -- which is pretty hard, pretty gangsta, and, quite frankly, pretty goddamn interesting.

More here. Check it out.

Out: Is Truman Out? If so, then maybe someone can email me what James Truman actually did for a living at Conde Nast to: papermag@yahoo.com