Media Whore's D'Oeuvre

Again, sorry folks, but an ongoing assignment precludes me from blogging freaky stylee at length today. Be back tomorrow -- Saturday. So, in the mean time, here are some "Media Whore D'Oeuvres," or, as my lovely blog wife Miu Von Furstenberg likes to call them, "nibbly things":

Those wonderful Page Sixxies report, Band Camp's 'Most Likely to Succeed,' Paul Allen's chick magnet yacht attracts yet another glamazon: "PAUL Allen, 51, the bachelor Microsoft co-founder worth $20 billion (according to Forbes), rang in the New Year with British blonde Kate Reardon, 36, a former fashion director for Tatler magazine who now writes about jewelry for the Times of London. The couple ushered in 2005 in St. Barts aboard Allen's 413-foot yacht, 'Octopus,' equipped with two helicopters and a 60-foot submarine." The Octopus? We always thought of Paul Allen as more of a "The Squid" type of guy. (Page Six)

From Cindy Adams, "Golan Cipel a k a The Pig who seemed to be shaking down New Jersey's former Governor Jim McGreevey and did succeed in shaking down the man's political career, is now in a romance with a lady. In Israel. He's a busy dude. A female in Tel Aviv, a male in Trenton . . ." Oy Vey (Averted Gaze). Cindy Adams working blue with the non-kosher Jewish swine reference (Averted Gaze), ladies and gentlemen. Did she really have to go there? Less Four Seasons, more Leviticus readings, Cindy. Couldn't Mrs. Adams have picked an animal that has "a cloven hoof and chews its cud"? Like a nifty ibex, or a tasteful giraffe. (Cindy)

Roger Friedman untangles the labyrinthine Jacko case, starting with the secret staircase leading to (exaggerated cough suggesting feigned detatchment)"The Jesus Juice," "'The wine cellar, as it's known, is located right behind the game room. The kids break into it all the time. I caught [the accuser and his brother] down there myself once. It's not hard,' my source said." Rolling down the hall ... past the game room ... sipping on "Jesus Juice." Laid back ... (Fox 411)

British Vogue reports, "The red vinyl dress Gwen Stefani wore on the cover of No Doubt's 1995 album Tragic Kingdom has been stolen from a museum in California. The iconic frock, which is thought to be worth around $5,000, was nabbed from an exhibition dedicated to the history of rock music. Both the Fullerton Museum Centre and Gwen's record label are appealing for its safe return." The Corsair lies in fetal position, in a dungeon, watching the Discovery Channel, gently caressing, cradling something soft, red and crumpled, wheezing, "my preciousss ..." *shudders* ... (British Vogue)

Ominousness at Black Rock, according to the Old Grey Lady, "Leslie Moonves, the chairman of CBS and co-president of the network's parent company, Viacom, said in a telephone interview that Mr. Rather was expected to continue his career at CBS on the Wednesday edition of '60 Minutes' after he steps down as the network's primary anchor in March. But Mr. Moonves added the phrase, 'provided the show continues.'" What the fuck?! Just had to drop that proviso in there, eh, Les? Somewhere within CBS headquarters, Don Hewett is doing continuous cartwheels at the prospect of the death of the fake 60 Minutes. (Old Gray Lady)