A Little of the Old In and Out

In: Scarlett Johanssen's "Girls." Fun bags, ta-ta's, dirty pillows, "Punch and Judy," Shields and Yarnell -- what have you; such are the endearing sobriquets we supply for a woman's breasts (The Corsair sips a chilled glass of Ugandan Waragi), the most beautifulest thing in this world.



Our favorite Sir Edmund Hillary of social climbing Scarlett Jo calls hers her "girls," according to Ananova:

"... The actress admits she doesn't really get nervous when she has to strip off for her sex scenes as she doesn't really think it's a big deal.

"According to Femalefirst.co.uk quoting Harpers and Queen magazine she said:

"'A lot of people get nervous. I try to be relaxed.

"'There are those first few takes where you're like, This is awkward, and it's hot and you're almost naked.

"'But if someone catches sight of your bare breasts, you think: Let them have it and enjoy it for the day.'

"The Lost in Translation star says she loves her breasts which she calls girls."

Out: The Schwag Bag. Decorum, people! Really (Averted Gaze) Granted, everyone wants to snag their schwag bag and get the hell out like a Preacher, but go after it in a disciplined and orderly fashion. There will be No Running, or you might just end up like the "overeager" Rene Russo, according to The Dish:

"Actress Rene Russo is recovering from a bruised head, after getting into an accident backstage at Sunday's People's Choice Awards.

"After giving Mel Gibson his Favorite Drama award for 'The Passion of the Christ,' Russo made her way down the stairs to the Distinctive Assets celebrity gift room to collect her $15,000 presenter's goody bag.

"But before arriving at the doors of the room, Russo banged her head and sustained a bloody cut over her right eyebrow. She was then taken to a nearby hospital to get stitches."

Mixed: Senator Corzine, President? Jon Corzine is, perhaps, the most powerful Unrepentant Old School Liberal (TM) in the US Senate if you don't include Ted Kennedy. And, Corzine's ambitious as well as fabulously rich and comes from a electoral college rich state. Is that a good thing? Is the left history? Does he stand a chance? According to Rush and Molloy:

"Wall Street will be watching the New Jersey governor's race carefully this year. Should Sen. Jon Corzine win, it could lead to a 2008 bid for the White House. (Bill Clinton and President Bush were both governors before becoming President.) 'He'd gain executive experience, he knows the legislature, he's a Democrat.' Best of all, says our Street source, the former co-chairman of Goldman Sachs 'is pro-business. What's not to like? ... "

In: Odor-Free Shoes. Quick, someone fetch a pair for Britney's stinky feet! According to The Old Gray Lady:

"To understand the secret of Geox's enormous success in a country that takes pride in its elegant footwear one has to look beyond the colors and curves of the shoes and deep into their soles, where a patented sweat prevention system is attacking the age-old problem of smelly feet.

"'This invention is a revolution in the world of shoes,' said Mario Moretti Polegato, the president of Geox and the inventor of footwear with tiny holes allowing perspiration to escape, while blocking out water and cold."

Of course, it only works if you are wearing the darn things. Civilization ... difficult; Cheetos ... chicken fingers ... good.

Out: Occupation: Porn Director. At what point in our declining Western Civilization did the artful direction of hard core porn become the logical step up after a successful music career? Rather dubious, my friend. Granted, rock and roll is a medium extolling the virtues of adolescent rebellion (The Corsair lights up a Macanudo Robust Baron de Rothschild), founded by those with pronounced Attention Deficit Disorders -- that's a given, ex hypothesi -- but, According to Page Six:

"CRUNKMASTER Lil Jon is expanding his resume. The rapper just started directing and acting in two 'hard-core' Vivid videos with Latina porn star Mercedez, titled: 'Lil Jon & the East Side Boyz Vivid Vegas Party' and 'Lil Jon & the East Side Boyz Nightclubbin'.' While Lil Jon does 'act' in the flicks, we are reassured he does not have sex but nonetheless seems to be 'enjoying himself.' Lil' Jon, we're told by Vivid, 'is quite the master player.'"

As opposed to Ibsen's Master Builder.

In: Paris Hilton on Jane Cover; Magazine Gets Cheap. We won't entertain the possibility that the "cheapening" of Jane has anything to do with the fact that racist amateur porn "star" Paris Hilton (Controlled belly-laugh,followed by a small closing cough of feigned detachment) is gracing the cover, according to Fashionweekdaily:

"... Beginning with its February 2005 issue, the Fairchild-owned publication geared towards independent adult women - or so they say - will implement a new single-issue cover price of $1.99, down from its current price of $3.99.

"'We had done a $1.99 price test with the re-launch of the September 2004 issue,' said publisher Eva Dillon. 'We realized that a lot of people will test a magazine like Jane at that price.' Dillon went on to note that the magazine is 83 percent subscription based. 'Because we're such a unique boutique magazine, what we decided was, with our new strategy, to test the market, and we had a really nice feedback.'

"The always-conspicuous Paris Hilton graces next month?s issue, which features an even more conspicuous pink bubble that reads, 'New Special Price, Only $1.99,' followed by the phrase, 'Sweetie, You Deserve A Discount.'"

Out: Libby Pataki. Although The Corsair finds Governor Pataki's wife simply adorable and it pains us to do this, the prospect of a spouse of a sitting Governor making a six-figure income as a "consultant" for companies who have interests before the state is dodgy at best. According to The Observer:

"Last week, Governor George Pataki did his best to put his stamp on the state's burgeoning reform movement.

"'New Yorkers want a more open, accountable and responsive government,' he told the audience of dignitaries assembled for his hour-long State of the State speech in Albany on Jan. 5. 'This year, lets give it to them.' Mr. Pataki then laid out seven proposals to advance his agenda, the first two aimed at shedding light on the relationships between lobbyists and state officials.

"But before Mr. Pataki casts himself as the man to reform the state hes governed for a decade, he might want to turn his attention to his own household and to the income he shares with his wife, Elizabeth, known as Libby. While the Governors salary is set by statute at $179,000, Mrs. Patakis income grew in 2003 to $339,293, most of it in the earnings from her career as a vaguely defined consultant to businesses and charities. Most of her clients are linked to friends and political supporters of Mr. Pataki, and some of those friends also have interests before the state."

Hmm.

In: Tammy Faye Baker Personal Ad. Those fabulous folks at WorldofWonder interview Tammy Faye for 5 Questions, and made her describe herself as if she were in a singles ad. And who wouldn't want some of that hott ass?:

"I'm 4 feet 11 inches tall � due to short growing season where I grew up. That would be International Falls, Minnesota. I have blonde hair & blue eyes. I'm full of energy and I love life and I love God. I sing and I play the organ and piano. I love animals. I have a dog named Tuppins and one named Muffin. I have 2 fish and 3 little frogs. I have two children, Tammy Sue Bakker and Jay Bakker. I have 2 grandchildren, James and Jonathan. I have been doing television most of my life. I love bright colors, my favorite is pink! Then comes red and black! I like fun .."

Goody, can I have a ticket to ride? A propos of nothing: Do you suppose she has a lot of "mileage"?