Just when you thought you heard everything you wanted to ever hear about The Simpson Family, that trailer park royalty that done made good, along comes another chestnut so compelling, so suffused with "the good stuff," that, well, you do the math, cause even a claret swilling fox hunter like The Corsair was intrigued beyond all measure:
According to Ananova, via FemaleFirst:
"(Ashlee Simpson), who stars in her own MTV reality TV show, The Ashlee Simpson Show, says she loves showing of her special talent. She said: 'When I burp the alphabet, my favourite letter is G. It is an open consonant and it is at the beginning when my wind is strong."
Her wind is strong, quite nice to know, but her acid reflux is stronger. Forced belching actually exacerbates acid reflux, people, if, indeed, Ashlee ever actually had the dread disease -- which is certainly debatable -- this according to the Nexium site:
"Burping is common. In fact, many people burp or pass gas 14 to 23 times a day. But if you have acid reflux disease, frequent burping can force out more than gas and unwanted air. It can also force stomach acid into the esophagus, which can irritate the lining of your esophagus and provoke your symptoms.
"Burping is a part of everyone's life. But, there are basic things you can do to help decrease your urge to burp."
Decrease, Ashlee (The Corsair shields his face); decrease! But Ashlee isn't having any of it:
"'My worst letter is S. It is a closed consonant and at the end when I am out of wind.'"
(An artful pause on The Corsair's part) Recapture the wind, Ashlee, recapture the wind!
But that is a side issue and need not detain us ...
"The 19-year-old star also admitted that older sister Jessica also shares the same talent reports Femalefirst.co.uk.
"She told America's New York Post newspaper: 'Jessica burps the alphabet better than me. She has better wind and she is a much louder belcher.'"
Of course she has better wind, as Joe Simpson is quoted in Page Six, via GQ, as saying oh-so-smarmily:
"Jessica's father was even more effusive about her bodacious balcony. 'Jessica never tries to be sexy,' he told GQ. 'She just is sexy. If you put her in a T-shirt or you put her in a bustier, she's sexy in both. She's got double Ds! You can't cover those suckers up.'"
And lo, what mighty wind that which those "suckers" issue forth ...
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