Monday, November 29, 2004

Sex Degrees of Paris Hilton

Gawker today gave us a brilliant idea. Today, she writes, re: the Most Excellent Gatecrasher that she "hooked up" with Colin Farrell, "It was inevitable: Paris Hilton hooks up with Colin Farrell; now everyone in Hollywood has fucked each other via no more than 3 degrees of separation."

Well, give us a hint and we'll go with it. Sure, one could just as easily do a "Sex Degrees of Mick Jagger, (this would be particularly effective in the Brazilian telemundo celebrity market)" or a "Sex Degrees with Rob Lowe," but manwhores like those two aren't as fun. Slabs of beef like that wouldn't even get us publicity. They'd probably just send me emails of congratulatory thanks, signing off with, "thanks, dude."

But "Sex Degrees with Paris Hilton," now, "that's hott!" That has legs to stand on. It's a sick and sexist ploy that's bound to get me some juice with the tabloids, and The Corsair is itching to get some more crack-like addictive boldface time.

The Rules of the Game are Simple: You must link someone -- anyone -- in Hollywood to Paris Hilton via some *alleged* sex act, within six ("sex", get it?) plays.

Let's start with Demi Moore, bionic woman( She is our bionic woman, a real life analog to the hyperadvancement in technology. She is bigger technology news than the iPod. One imagines, with tongue in cheek and a heart full of mirth, the conversation at that historic moment when the plastic surgeons conducted their Wierd Science on her:'We can rebuild her. We have the technology.We have the capability to make the world's first Bionic woman. Demi Moore will be that woman. Better than she was before. Thinner . . . bustier . . . tighter.')

Anyhoo: Demi "dated" Leo DiCaprio, *allegedly*, and Leo dated Rosario Dawson, and Rosario dated Colin Farrell ... which brings us back to ... Paris Hilton.

See, it's fun for all the family!

Let's try another one, only harder:

Matt Dillon. Dillon dated Carmeron Diaz, who dated Jared Leto, who dated ... that's right, true believers: Paris Hilton.

Now, go out and spread the word, my blogger minions!

Official "Sex Degrees of Paris Hilton Blog"




6 comments:

erin said...

Tara Reid dated Carson Daley dated Jaime Pressley dated Simon Rex dated Paris Hilton.

That 20 something year old teacher that fucked her 15 year old student in the back seat of an SUV while his cousin was driving dated Nick Carter who dated Paris Hilton.

Dag, this works with anybody!

erin said...

Tara Reid dated Carson Daley dated Jaime Pressley dated Simon Rex dated Paris Hilton.

That teacher who had sex with a 15 year old student in the back seat of an SUV while his cousin was driving dated Nick Carter dated Paris Hilton.

Dag, this really does work with anyone!

Ron said...

good one. Blogger is giving me such a headache today, so, forgive me for the paucity of posts

winnerofthesat said...

In order to help make the game easier, I've been trying to locate a fansite with a list of everyone who's stuck their boners in Paris Hilton. I typed "people who have railed Paris Hilton" in Google and it asked me if I meant "people who have sailedParis Hilton. You should get the blogspot space for your game before it's gone.

Ron said...

got it. thanks, winner, for a winner of an idea

Squirrel said...

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