Best of Corsair: 70s TV

Originally posted 2-2004; revised:

A Letter to New York Magazine Culture Editor, Emily Nussbaum:

Clearly, Emily Nussbaum of The New York Times likes 70s tv, revels in it, and, quite frankly, so does The Corsair, so it's all good. But, as they said in the 70s, don't go breakin' my heart, Emily Nussbaum, stay for a while, see this 70s thing through -- even as you are culture editor at New York.

The reasons for that 70s love, though, is not so much a love for the general artistic excellence going on, not on my part at least, although in the cases of Land of the Lost , I, Claudius, Roots and Schoolhouse Rock, great craftsmanship is in abundance, the real reason for 70s tv love is more generally because people of my generation -- those of us who attended kindergarteners in the 70s -- viewed that culture at large with saucer-wide eyes full of wonder at the light electric blue 70s nimbus of "Keep on Truckin" freedom.

So, as Emily Nussbaum sexes us up with a wonderful exposition on Starsky and Hutch, and how they shepherded in the gritty tv drama era of the 70s, when ethnic cops, divorced cops, slutty cops, and cops living in slums themselves took on the underbelly of our decaying urban infrastructure. Every city, but especially New York, was in tumult from the mix of corruption in Democratic Party mayoralties (all of which spurred the Republican urban law and order platforms at the city level in the late 80s) and the poverty of minorities.

And hardboiled drama (the 70s were synonymous with urban decline, graffiti, welfare, graft, "white slavery," and Fort Apache the Bronx comes to mind -- so the rise of the gritty cop, as cultural hero, was all but telegraphed) were all the rage, here are some other (making ironical quotation marks in the air) "Big 70s Subjects" I'd like to see Ms. Emily -- my new journo sex symbol, by the way (sorry, Lola Ogunnaike) -- tackle, like 70s cereal box "face" and former football star, Lynn Swann:

1) Schoolhouse Rock's The Figure Eight, Infinity and the Nietzche's concept of The Eternal Return Question. Come on, Emily, I've been puzzling over this concept for the better part of twenty years. I mean: What does that song mean, Emily Nussbaum. Could you break down for us the mathematics of infinity in New York Magazine on the cultural front? "If you could make a figure eight / That's a circle that turns 'round upon itself / Place it on it's side and it's a symbol meaning ... Infinity"

What-the-fuuuck? Yo, that;s trippy. Is that some veiled reference to the Bill Murray character in Groundhog Day? Help me out here, Em; break me off some meaning. Or at least something vaguely Lacanian without too much of Durkheim's Anomie involved (The Corsair gets heartburn); maybe a splash of Sarraute, just a splash.

2) Of The Dramedy and It's Discontents. Why oh why, dear reader, did this particularly significant cultural artifact achieve it's provenance and peak in the 70s? Was its rise and afall related in some unforseen phantom-sinister manner to the urban decay of the Age? Were the suits afraid of too much drama and therefore threw in some shits-and-giggles? Whereforeart Thou Asaad Kelada?

And, as an offshoot to the dramedy, can we discuss the troubled youth leitmotif, those who often are the actual "dram" in dramedy. That was a big issue in the 70s, these troubled youths who "mouthed off" to parental authority figures (bitchsmacks from parents notforthcoming). In the 60s, the kids really only wanted peace, love and understanding (okay, so the Beats also wanted hot sex and South American Drugs derived from Cactii and some poetry, but they still snuck out to do it, parental authority -- at least as represented by the tv shows -- was still intact).

But in the 70s a whole new breed of ruffians, young turks, longhaired freaks, like Ralph Macchio on quintessential 70s dramedy (The Corsair bows in awe) Eight is Enough, and the troubled Kristy McNichol on the oft-forgotten, but once highly popular (so choice, The Corsair highly recommends it), Family. These kids were testing the limits of 70s freedom; they "kept on truckin'" -- they mouthed off to their parents to their faces!

Nowadays, this noble banner is being held up by that angry kid on WB's Everwood who keeps yelling at Treat Williams for moving his family only so that the ungrateful ass can get a good life. And bloggers.

3) Bad Science Fiction. Of course, in order to co-sign on this topic with me, you would have to agree -- at least in principle -- that there is, in fact, such a thing as good science fiction. This is a debatable topic that generally splits the participants down the line depending on whether or not one has ever "gotten some".

What was it about the 70s that caused such bad science fiction to proliferate? How does one explain Disney's The Black Hole? Bad fiction is bad enough, but why drag "science" into it -- and is it really science if you mention things like other "galaxies" and "alien races," and invent such preposterous concoctions as "gamma radiation," and "kryptonite" and robots with amusing personalities.

Was the rise of bad sci fi inversely related to the waning tide of the folksy humanitarian impulse that spurred that 70s sense into that whole 'hey baby, what's your sign?' mating ritual(again with the planetary references)/ Keep on Truckin'/ UNICEF commercial era?

Had we grown tired of the planet in the wake of the OPEC scandal and Jimmy Carter's bumbling peanut-farmer incompetence only yearn for a little off-world travel? Had Carter fucked the whole shit up that bad? Or is The Corsair being too idealistic in my tele-metaphysical speculation, drunk off the fact that I can spout of what may just be naught else but utter shit: Was it merely tv execs trying to get up into that Star Wars bitch (The Corsair emits a little roar to amplify his point)?

Whatever the case, we were inundated with some interesting at the time (but, in retrospect bad) sci-fi, among which, stinking up the DVD storage area at Amazon's warehouses are Space 1999 and Battlestar Galactica.

4) Commercials with a Social Message. Hey, what's up with that, Emily? Emily Nussbaum, explain to me why so many commercials in the Age of Aquarius had such a strong social message and sense of universal brotherhood (like Lowenbrau's "Here's to Good Friends") and, frankly, just love sweet love ("Love, American Style")?

Two examples of this species of enticements come to mind almost immediately: one, the Coke "I'd Like To Teach the World to Sing in perfect Harmony," and the "Keep America Beautiful" ad campaign where Native American Iron Eyes Cody cried at the lack of environmental awareness of the 70s. How could we be so stupid. Why did we have to fuck up the land? That distinguished looking Native American weeps for our waste.

What was up with those social message commercials in the 70s.

5) Decals. This issue must be, and has never been, properly addressed. What was it about the electric-blue Keep on Trucking aura of freedom about the 1970s that compelled us to trinkets like stickers and decals and iron on t-shirts. We will not entertain the possibility that it was an advertising gimmick.

6) Davey and Goliath. Too much Brown Acid consumed? Or, benevolent Church of the Latter Day Saints membersip pitch.

7) Disco. Tootie Ramsey's-- and all of our -- obsession with roller disco (hey, Ari from Paris)is a fascinating subject, one that could take years to manage. One that The Corsair promises to engage. But just not today. The Corsair is very hung over and tired.

So, Emily, you've now got a full plate on explaining 70s tv and the big questions. We need these questions answers, and, hopefully, in the pages of New York.

Keep on truckin'