A Little of the Old In and Out



In: William Macy's Ass. Mirabile dictu, the destiny of this delectable slab of beef is to be determined by free market forces, according to Lloyd Grove's Lowdown:

"'My a-- is for sale, and I want to do big movies that pay a lot of money to shoot in L.A.

"'Starting right now: No more art!'"

No more art, lots more ass. So, let's start the bids, shall we? Do I hear ten dollyolly-ollars ... no? No to ten dollars? Okay then, ahem, lets start slower, uhm, how about, er, fifty cents ... anyone? Grade A US Prime Guaranteed William Macy ... ass. No one?

"So, would the 54-year-old Macy like to star in 'Diehard 4' or 'Armageddon 2' or some other overpriced blockbuster with lots of explosions?

"'Yes. Yes. And yes! It doesn't matter. I want to do big, fat movies,' he declared. 'I've got two little kids - a 2-year-old and a 4-year-old. It changes when you have kids.'"

Out: Michael Jackson. Just when you thought the whole oily -- and The Corsair doesn't mean Jermaine Jackson -- greasy Jacko enterprise couldn't get any more sordid. Boy were you wrong! TheSmokingGun has the goods:

"Claiming that Michael Jackson is a drug- and booze-impaired deadbeat, a former business associate yesterday sued the singer for more than $3 million in unpaid loans and producing fees. In a blistering Los Angeles Superior Court lawsuit ... Marc Schaffel claims that the star's need to hit him up for cash 'accelerated when Jackson's increasingly more frequent excessive use of drugs and alcohol impelled him into irrational demands for large amounts of money and extravagant possessions.' Those bizarre purchases included luxury cars (a Bentley and a Rolls), a $600,000 bauble for Elizabeth Taylor, and a $1 million appearance fee for Marlon Brando.

"Schaffel also claims that, following the September 11 attacks, he gave Jackson $500,000 in 'emergency cash,' because the performer thought he might need to 'take shelter underground somewhere with his family.' Before entering Jackson's inner circle a few years ago, Schaffel was best known as a producer of gay porno films like 'Cocktales' and 'Man With The Golden Rod.'"

Okay, freakyfreakyfreaky ...

In: Peter Sarsgaard. An actor who doesn't give "canned interviews" *coughcoughJimCareycough*, how quaint. In a provocative interview with Paper Magazine, Sarsgaard says:

"Despite the stream of success, however, Sarsgaard still has to fight for the big-time roles. He says there are at most 10 available each year, and he's got a shot at fewer than half of them. 'Jude Law is going to play six of them, so there's another four left,' he calculates, with a trace smile. 'Ed Norton will play another one. There's a lot of competition for [the] best roles." Sarsgaard had to push Kinsey's writer/director Bill Condon (who also did Gods and Monsters) to land the role of Clyde Martin, Kinsey's collaborator, surrogate son and constant companion.

"In real life, Martin seduced both Alfred Kinsey and Kinsey's wife, Clara, who is played by Laura Linney in the film. Though Sarsgaard seemed comfortable talking about his sex scene with Neeson, he admits he was uncomfortable during filming. 'I think scenes like that are naturally uncomfortable,' the actor says. 'There are so many things I do as an actor that are like that -- like raping Hilary Swank [in Boys Don't Cry]. You worry about how she's feeling the whole time, if she's going to be alright with it. Kissing Liam, I'm worried about how he's going to feel... The only thing you worry about with yourself in a situation like that, the only reason you have to be afraid, is that you might be turned on... As you can tell from the movie, he nearly takes my head off, so there was no danger of that.'"

Out: Trishelle. Nice name, skank! Anyhoo(Averted Gaze) -- this former Real Worlder is auctioning off her trailer trash ass -- on eBay(Is there an ass selling and purchasing theme going on today? There is lots of untoward commerce in ass today). Pshaw! According to MTV.com:

"Trishelle from the cast of 'The Real World Las Vegas' has auctioned herself off on eBay. The highest bidder (bidding ended on Tuesday, with the winning bid at $1,500) will receive an all-inclusive trip for one to Los Angeles to spend the day with the reality star, enjoy limo service for the duration of the trip, and eat lunch at Ashton Kutcher's restaurant, Dolce, in Hollywood."

Which, any way you look at it, dear reader, is a jyp. Back in the Louisiana Bayou, Trishelle was, no doubt, free and easy with her virtues for the asking price of a swig of Moonshine and some possum with all the fixins.

In: Angelina. Angelina (The Corsair slowly bites a clenched fist) ... wants to be a Bond villain, according to Ananova (The Corsair throws Angelina moist looks):

"The Oscar-winning actress is reportedly in talks with movie bosses to fulfill her dream of becoming a Bond Girl.

"She said: 'It's been a lifetime ambition of mine to play a 007 villain.'"

What a coincidence, Angelina, because it has been a lifetime ambition of mine to ... never mind:

"(Angelina Jolie) said (Maddox) enjoyed watching animated movie Shark Tale - where she provided the voice for fish Lola - but couldn't understand where his mother's voice was coming from.

"She said: 'It was really confusing for him. He could hear my voice but couldn't understand why I had turned into a fish!'"

Ever the Gemini, the issue of communication caught her attention.