A Little of the Old In and Out



In: Maureen Dowd Versus Zell Miller. Even if you are not a politics geek to the maximum degree like me, you have to admit this little contretemps is some funny shit going down. The Senator is picking a fight with a girl who just may pay his chuckles with her knuckles. The lowdown: Zell Miller is the crabbiest old man Ever. It's like he's finally just realized that Lincoln has taken away all his slaves.

Zell Miller's was the house that all trick or treaters avoided back when you were a kid. You know what I'm talking about. He gave out coupons, or buffalo head nickles, or, worse, green apples. His feud with Chris Matthews was farcical (c'mon, you know in your heart of hearts that Chris Matthews would slap the taste out of Zell Miller's mouth in a New York minute).

Now Zell has taken it upon himself to learn that Jezebel (pronounced by the Senator "Jeh-zuh-belllll" -- roll the "l's"), that New York Times hottie, Maureen Dowd, a lesson in "country grammar," if you know what I mean. A Dowd-Miller deathmatch is even money. So best. Anything to get her to stop using that cloying cupie-doll voice. It just ruins the fantasy. According to the Page Sixxies:

"SEN. Zell Miller (D- Ga.) laced into New York Times columnist Maureen Dowd yesterday on the 'Imus in the Morning' radio show, saying, 'The more Maureen Loud [sic] gets on Meet the Press' and writes those col umns, the redder these states get. I mean, they don't want some high brow hussy from New York City explaining to them that they're idiots and telling them that they're stupid.' Miller also suggested 'that red-headed woman at the New York Times' should not mock anyone's religion: 'You can see horns just sprouting up through that Technicolor hair.' Dowd responds: 'I'm not a highbrow hussy from New York. I'm a highbrow hussy from Washington. Senator, pistols or swords?'"

"Hussy?" Was there even anyone alive in the 19th century who wielded that word as a weopon?

Clearly this man is fixated on the Feria Ruby Rush (or, whatever she uses to get that suave color). You see, back in the Senator's day, when horse driven carriages carried gentlemen to and from the Senate, women kept their natural hair color and wore it a la chignon, with on occasion, ornaments, like beads and jewels, flowers, foilage, lace, and even charms. A ladies hair and mint juleps and the going rate for a negro were Zell's favorite topics on the plantation, you know.

Out: Arlen Specter. Silly rabbit, tricks are for kids. That's what The Corsair thought when Arlen -- but his friends call him *bubbles* -- Specter tried to do some last minute damage control on his judiciary snafu. He couldn't cover his pasty white ass fast enough, though. According to Alexander Bolton of TheHill:

"... Many conservatives were outraged by Specter�s comments after being reelected to a fifth term last week, when he said it is unlikely that the Senate would confirm judges who would overturn Roe v. Wade, the landmark 1973 Supreme Court decision legalizing abortion."

Peasant!

"Specter�s post-election statement that judicial nominees who oppose abortion rights may have a hard time getting confirmed has put Majority Leader Bill Frist (R-Tenn.) and Specter�s junior colleague, Republican Conference Chairman Rick Santorum (R-Pa.), in difficult positions."

By the way, those are, respectively, the number one and the number 3 most powerful men in the Senate. Not a good week for Arlen Specter. I'm just saying ...

"Both men are viewed to have White House ambitions. Frist is expected to retire from the Senate at the end of the next Congress to run for president, while Santorum�s supporters expect him also to run for the White House, perhaps as early as 2008.

"The support of social conservatives is crucial to the presidential ambitions of both men, as conservatives � particularly evangelical Christians � demonstrated last week by helping President Bush defeat Democratic challenger Sen. John Kerry by a comfortable margin.Some GOP strategists speculated last week that the controversy over Specter�s remarks, which he hastily backed off of, might die down over the weekend.

"But conservative leaders such as James Dobson, head of Focus on the Family, criticized Specter, as did House Speaker J. Dennis Hastert (R-Ill.). Frist, Santorum and other Republicans reported that their telephones, fax machines and e-mail inboxes were jammed by protests from conservative activists who demanded that Specter not be allowed to succeed term-limited Judiciary Chairman Orrin Hatch (R-Utah).

�'This is huge with the base. It�s mushrooming, and it�s not going away,' a GOP Senate aide said."

In: Winston Churchill's Parrot, Aged 104 and Kicking. According to WorldofWonder.net:

"Out of nowhere today, we learn that Winston Churchill's parrot is not only still alive, but continues to rail against Hitler and the Nazis. Charlie, a blue and gold female macaw, is, at 104, Britain's oldest bird now that the Queen Mum has expired. The mirror.co.uk reports that she still shrieks 'Fuck Hitler!' and 'Fuck the Nazis!' in Churchill's memorable timbre, the prime minister having taught her to swear."

How suave is that?

Out: George Pataki. It seems like only yesterday when he was the new powerhouse Governor, snubbing Mayor Giuliani's phone calls, seating him behind Al D'amato and Howard Stern at his inaugural. The pendulum swings. D'amato is in the wilderness, having been beaten by Schumer, who now appears to be after his protoge Pataki's job. Giuliani is on the national stage now, too big for the AG post, primed for the Veep slot in 2008, with tons of political IOU's that he can pick up.

What happened to Pataki?

The Corsair is not really sure except, perhaps, that he was too liberal, alienating his base while, at the same time, never endearing himself to the Democrats. And then there is the fact that George Bush's resounding victory has made the blue states bluer -- making the political waters treacherous for Mayor Bloomberg and Pataki. Gee, thanks, brother Yalie! Now he is adrift like flotsam, an easy mark for the Democrats who smell blood in the water -- a cash rich Senator Schumer, his campaign coffers overflowing, wants a pice. And so does the popular Attorney General Elliot Spitzer. And things don't look good when the Post is giving it to a fellow traveller. Pataki is in rough shape.