A Little of the Old In and Out

In: Life and Style Shadenfreude. When last we left that beleaguered Kimora Lee Simmons vehicle, Kim-chi (as we like to call her), our favorite turkey-necked materialist, had taken her to Red Lobster with "her wardrobe, hair and makeup team," to enjoy a little "seafood fast food (eew)." As if Russell didn't already give that to her every night. Ka-Pow!

Anyhoo: Apparently the bomb threat was for something other than the show, which airs at the appalling hour of 3AM in NYC.

The pendulum swings. Today's Life and Style shadenfreude involves "the digits," according to Oanmedia (just the onomatopoeia residing in the word "oanmedia" makes us feel like a dirty whore ... note-- this link is decidedly NOT safe for work):

"More drama on the set of Life & Style. Co-host Cynthia Garret told us that a couple in Thursday's audience was ushered out of the studio because, er -how can we put this delicately - a guy's girlfriend was pleasuring him by using her hand."

Hey, if a guy is so supportive as to attend such an ultrafemme gabfest with his sweetie, a little "reach-around" seems only polite.

Out: Geri Halliwell's Doggie Poo. As The Corsair knows, you are all interested in the chronicles of the former Spice Girl, Geri Halliwell's dog's poop, and how it all plays out. According to Ananova:

"The former Spice Girl confessed that her pet dog, Harry, was caught short on a trip to Tony Blair's countryside residence, Chequers - and ended up using the premier's carpet.

"She said: 'We were in Mr Blair's study and Harry went into the corner of the room.
"I was so embarrassed I had to ask for tissues to clear it up.'

"... Meanwhile, droppings from the star's pet pooch have been put up for sale on internet auction site Ebay.

"The lot, described as 'genuine doggie do-do', was reportedly collected three weeks ago after the star took the dog for a walk in a London park.

"The odourless mess also comes in its own wooden and plastic presentation case and is described by the vendor as 'genuine pop memorabilia.'

"The seller added: 'The do-do has been dried and no longer smells.'"

Here's the link (Ed Note: At 4 pm on Friday, the poo bids were up to $19 US).

In: Yoko Ono, 71 year old chart topper. While most people her age are busily engaged in the activity of digesting brisket, Modernist screecher Yoko Ono is still among the living, shaking the pillars of heaven. According to the AP:

"Yoko Ono isn't known for her voice, but it's still a hot commodity. The famously off-key singer and wife of John Lennon has the No. 1 single on the dance chart.

"'Everyman.../Everywoman... (Basement Jaxx Club Mix)' is a mix of techno beats and her screeching vocals. It's her second No. 1 dance song this year.

"Ono says once she allows someone to remix her song, she is hands-off and gives them rein to create beats and rework the song. But she isn't planning on grooving to any of her beats in the clubs soon.

"'I don't think I'm the type of woman who can walk into a club by myself. I'm inhibited, I suppose,' told AP Radio."

First Dolly Parton, then Yoko, who next for the famously fickle dance charts?

Out: Kerry Blame. Denial is a river in Egypt, and The Media Elite has moved on to the second stage of grieving over the untimely and brutal death of Kerry -- Blame. The Chattering Class' favorite parlor game is now -- Who's to Blame?

One can almost see Tina Brown making this one of her segments on Topic A. Liz Smith (link via Wonkette) blames, in part, "the touching myth embraced by middle America and the disadvantaged that somehow Bush tax cuts to the rich benefit the rest of us . . . the duck-hunting outfit."

The Corsair blames the windsurfing photos.

Arianna Huffington blames the Kerry strategists, saying, "This timid, spineless, walking-on-eggshells strategy ? with no central theme or moral vision ? played right into the hands of the Bush-Cheney team's portrayal of Kerry as an unprincipled, equivocating flip-flopper who, in a time of war and national unease, stood for nothing other than his desire to become president."

Tell us how you really feel, my dark, sexy Grecian Goddess!

Out: France Versus Turkey. Never underestimate the geopolitical importance of Turkey in the War on Terror. Factor in that internal pressure against the European inclusion of Turkey in the EU runs high in France. One would think that Chirac would take the high road in this hour of the wolf that The West now faces. Quite the contrary.

Nations like France are soft powers, they have little hard military power relative to their position in the world. It is instructive to listen to the way soft powers speak, their diplomatic language -- that is where their true intentions vis a vis the world stage can be discerned.

That having been said, what the fuck was the French President thinking when he let out this little Ankara bomb:

"French President Jacques Chirac cautioned on Friday that Turkey might never reach the standards required for European Union membership and the bloc might have to find an alternative way to tie it to Europe.

"Chirac reaffirmed that he fully supported opening accession negotiations with Ankara, as recommended by the executive European Commission, and hoped it would eventually join the 25-nation bloc. But in what appeared to be a nod to widespread hostility to Turkish membership in France, which has dented his popularity, he told a news conference at an EU summit that the outcome of the process was uncertain.

"'Naturally one can't underestimate the possibility that in a few years' time we come to realise that ... the road that Turkey has to travel doesn't permit it to adopt all the values of Europe,' he said."

What the fuck?!

In: Tara Reid's Tit. Never underestimate the geopolitical strategic importance of a dirty pillow.

Out: Liza, Boozy (Who Knew?). According to The Dish:

"Liza Minnelli shocked revelers at the wrap party for Outkast's upcoming movie, by performing an 'incoherent and rambling' show.

"The star was at the party in Wilmington, N.C., with pal Ben Vereen -- who stars alongside Outkast's Andre 3000 and Big Boi in the film.

"After performing their set, funk band Fishbone asked Minnelli to take to the stage.

"A local source says, 'Everyone listened respectfully but this was not Miss Minnelli's finest moment. Incoherent and rambling, she was saved by the backing band.'"

Liza incoherent? Nooo. Say it aint so.

Hey, Dishies, everybody on planet earth knows that Liza's blood alcohol content has been, perpetually, greater than Beefeater Gin from back when Frank was running with Dino. Newsflash! A Liza Minnelli gin fart once cleared out Studio 57 at the height of the 70s. Wheew!

In: Page Six earns it's bragging rights. Bush won with enough of a margin to claim a mandate. Suck it up, peeps. And today The Page Sixxies, whom we love and respect, give it to the dems hard and without lubrication. The link is here, but I warn Democrats without a sense of humor or a bad ticker not to click. It's a harshie.