A Little of the Old In and Out



In: JLo's Ass. God, it's been such a long time, hasn't it? Jennifer Lopez's Ass (TM) has been uncharacteristically quiet these past few months. M.I.A, really. That Ass used to be the talk of the red carpet. Has anyone seen JLo's Ass lately? Does anyone care about what happened to That Derriere? Is The Ass taking some time off from show business like Renee Zellwegger? Did The Ass takes it's act solo like Chris Rock predicted, a la Lionel Ritchie? That's so punk rock. God, That Ass is cool.

Is The Ass on holiday in Croatia? St. Tropez? What is JLo supposed to do in the meantime while Her Ass ducks under the media radar? Is JLo's Ass planning to collaborate with Miramax on a biopic? Where does Marc Anthony factor into all of this?

The Corsair actually thought that The Ass trying to be less ubiquitous -- tailor pick its media functions. But no, silly Corsair, JLo's Ass is still gravy; JLo's Ass is still garnering headlines, inserting itself into pop culture conversation. We are all still sleeping on JLo's Ass, er, so to speak.

According to The Independent Online:

"The Filming of the new Pepsi commercial starring Beyonc� Knowles, Jennifer Lopez and David Beckham reportedly had to be halted - because J.Lo's behind was allegedly too big for her outfit.

"Producers of the advert were said to be stunned when they realized the sexy star's famous derriere couldn't fit into the skin-tight leather costume they had provided her.

"So shooting had to be stopped while frantic staff stitched an extra piece of material to help cover her generous behind.

"A source told Britain's Daily Star newspaper: 'It was quite comical, really. There were all these people ready to get on with the work when we realised there was a problem.

"'Basically, J.Lo's bum was just too curvy for the outfit and we had to make sure the costume fitted her before we could start filming.'"

(The Corsair looks distant, dreamy-eyed, impressed with the show of media savvy) JLo's Ass ... it's like Garbo.

Out: Luke Weil, Born Bitch. According to Gatecrasher, Weil cold clocked some dude with a bottle of bubbly -- alcohol abuse!:

"Online gambling heir Luke Weil (last seen in the brat documentary 'Born Rich') could be facing assault charges after a fight at hipster-artist Hope Atherton's 29th-birthday party yesterday.

"Brit music producer Tarka Cordell (an ex of Kate Moss) claims he was beaten bloody with a shattered liquor bottle by Weil at around 1 a.m. Cordell, 35, told The Daily News' Lloyd Grove that he is considering pressing charges.

"'He hit me over the head with a bottle three times, and then he was kicking me when I was down on the ground. I was a bloody mess,' said Cordell, who claimed he received 'seven or eight stitches' at a nearby hospital.

"Weil, 24, told Grove when reached: 'Obviously, I'm not going to comment.'

"Cordell and Weil exchanged words before the alleged smackdown. 'He was just saying a lot of s--,' Cordell recalled. 'I told him to f-- off. And I asked other people there to get him out of my face.'

Among the guests at Atherton's party were Tatum O'Neal, Fabian Basabe, Lydia Hearst-Shaw, and Johnson & Johnson heir Jamie Johnson. Added Cordell, ' I could have died.'"

That's not right. Was Old Crow Kentucky Straight Bourbon involved? I'll bet there was. The Corsair will have to reserve a post one of these days (just not now. The wounds are too fresh) to explain to you how he got fined $100 (and very nearly expelled) at St. Johns College after an evening feuled by Old Crow Kentucky Straight Bourbon (There was nudity involved on my part).

Nothing good can come out of an evening with copious amounts of Old Crow Kentucky Straight Bourbon. I'm just saying ...

In: Jason Calacanis. My old boss, Jason, a typical Sagittarius, is always on the move -- the serial entrepreneur that he is. Now he blogs from China, which is all over the news these days, invading cocktail party chatter among the smart set, as the rising power that already covets and advances upon the global supremacy of the United States:

"Got to China yesterday and made my way to Shenzhen, one of the first Special Economic Zone?s in China. These zone were created in August of 1980 and were designed to be the first experiments in China for free trade and foreign investment.

"I?m learning all about doing business here, and let?s just say it?s very?very?complicated. There are no rules, it?s all based on relationships, and all kinds of interesting things can happen to your company as you grow it. Now, I thought I was a hard-core entrepreneur, but this is a totally different level of risk. Things can turn on a dime for a startup, and it really makes you appreciate the rules and regulations we have in the US. Our systems can be screwed up and complicated, what with all the lawsuits and red tape. However when you compare the snafus to the free-for-all, anything goes, model here in China?complete with retro-active rulings?you start to yearn for some regulation!"