Neo Virtue is the New Black

Does the new resurgence in celebrities getting back to their spiritual-religious roots suggest a conservative victory in 2004?

Virtuous behavior is back in style again as conservative George Bush leads in the polls, Jesus Christ recently did great box office (and DVD sales) and may be up for Best picture and Best Actor, and this trend has metastasized just in time for Yom Kippur, perhaps the most important holiday of the Jewish Year -- Who would have thunk it?

I mean, was virtue ever "cool?" Wasn't "in" supposed to be a shortned "sin?"

Wasn't Britney supposed to be the virginal schoolgirl, and XTina the 'ho? And, thus, wasn't XTina gently conceding the fact that she wasn't as pretty as Britney, not as "popular," by the fact that she acted the slut, that she was willing to go farther to compete on an even playing field?

The pendulum swings, however, my friends, as it always does in the entertainment/fashion/ media nexus -- and none too soon for our Geminian-one-half-prurient tastes (says The Corsair with laughing eyes). The slutwear thing has apparently run it's course, as Godfrey Deeny, senior fashion critic at Fashion Wire Daily -- at least for now (and, how sexy would the revelation be, dear reader, without the conceal?), and the pseudovirginal, the religious -- whether the Yom Kippur flavor for the Beasties, or Madonna's recharging her batteries in the Holy Land, and the modest is "in." It's like "the last days"! Even the people you would least expect to be religious are embracing "virtue."

Now, Our Christina has reinvented herself as a born again virgin, a queen of that genre, of sorts, even going so far as: 1) to play an animated jellyfish in her next video, 2) promoting voter awareness among the young, and, 3) according to FemaleFirst, promoting virginity:

"Raunchy singer Christina Aguilera is to front a documentary encouraging teenagers to remain virgins.

"The 'Dirrty' singer, who is famed for her sexy outfits and steamy stage shows, has interviewed a group of teenagers who have vowed to stay virgins until their wedding night for MTV's 'Sex, Votes and Higher Power'.

"The star returned to her home city of Pittsburgh to speak to the group, who are part of the movement Silver Ring Thing, about the importance of not having pre-marital sex."

So, here's to neo-virtue, fueled, in part, by Yom Kippur; and here, to your right, Christina Aguilera, noe-virtue's saintly poster girl.

In stark contrast to all that neo-virtue going on, a slew of projects in sympathy with the Devil are out now, including one very strange memoir by Red Hot Chili Pepper frontman Anthony Kiedis called Scar Tissue, in which he cops to an astonishing amount of crimes, everything from dining and dashing on meals in LA, to shooting Persian heroin, to, most disturbingly, sleeping with underage women -- on more than one occasion.

Although I have only read 200 pages, this book recounts an incident after a concert in which a female dolled up like Marilyn Monroe sang "Happy Birthday" breathily to him as he took a shower as a precursor to romance. Frankly, that image seems a little off to me, but, I suppose, to Kiedis, it was par for the course. The two then ended up traveling and trysting together through several states. At one point the girl finally confesses to Kiedis that her father is the "chief of police" of New Orleans, and that he would be chasing the band down looking for her.

Why? Well, here's the kicker: she tells him she is 14 years old!

After that stunner, taken aback, Kiedis shockingly admits to having had goodbye sex with her once more before returning her home -- What the fuck?! He admits this, proudly, in his memoirs!

As if that isn't bad enough, he later admits to a romance with actress and daughter of 60's pop star Donovan, one Ione Sky, after the Chili Peppers became famous, when she was 15, a few days shy of her Sweet 16, where, in front of guests, she announced that they were boyfriend-girlfriend. I don't know what the age of consent in California is, but 15?

Of course, this sort of disgusting behavior is not uncommon in the world of rock, which simultaneously worships and appeals to underage youth. Courtney Love recently made the startling revelation on The Howard Stern Show that she had sex with creepy rocker/carnivorous activist Ted Nugent when she was 12!!! Ted Nugent never called back Page Six to deny the story.

And, speaking of Page Six, today, on Dave Navarro's new book, more decadence:

"... Navarro's co-author, Neil Strauss, writes that he realized Navarro, who was heavily addicted to drugs (and prostitutes) at the time, never thought he'd still be alive when the book was published.

"... On (an) occasion, Navarro had a date with a woman who came to his house before they went out for the evening. The doorbell rang soon after she arrived; she answered it to find 'a very dolled-up prostitute with stiletto heels and a garter belt hanging from the bottom of her skirt,' Strauss writes.

"The woman, a former Heidi Fleiss escort, held a bag full of hooker clothes in one hand and doggie biscuits in the other.' Then 'she proceeded to sit on the couch, pull a crack pipe out of her purse and light it.'"

" ... Then there was the time Leif Garrett came over at 6:30 a.m. to fix a curtain rod in exchange for drugs ..."

Always the Leif Garrett cameo in these stories.

It should be noted that both Kiedis and Navarro have embraces a "neo-virtuous" lifestyle, Kiedis is drug free now, and Navarro is married and cleaned up.